Over the last few days I’ve been reflecting on my remaining debt and trying to inventory what that debt represents. If you are in debt, too, it can actually be a frustrating exercise. There were the somewhat justifiable portions of debt related to school expenses, illnesses, and family emergencies. However, I could barely account for 30% of the total debt from those types of expenditures. After surfing through old credit card statements and looking as far back as the online banking sites would allow it occurred to me most of the debt could be attributed to my failure to resist “financial peer pressure.”

Financial peer pressure comes in many forms, and from many sources:

• “Keeping up with the Joneses.” This is the self-imposed pressure we feel to keep up with others. If the neighbor gets a new car ours suddenly doesn’t look as pretty. If our friends upgrade to a larger house we suddenly start to feel claustrophobic.

• “Impress the in-laws.” Naturally, newly married guys have a tendency to want to impress their in-laws. We want to give the impression that their daughter has married into financial security and ease any doubts they may have about us as a provider for their little girl. I was guilty of this early on, particularly after my wife decided to stay home with our newborn in our second year of marriage. I suspected our family wondered if we could pull this off, but I was very reassuring, “Yeah…we’re doing great!” The reality was we were scraping by and failed to adjust our spending after dropping back to one income. The ensuing [tag]lifestyle debt[/tag]” accounts for a significant portion of our remaining balance.

• “Impress strangers at a red light.” I mentioned this phenomenon back when discussing the financial hole people dig themselves by buying new cars. It’s hard to justify spending hundreds of dollars a month for the right to drive something “new,” when many times a used alternative would do just fine. Somewhere along the line we Americans decided a car was a reflection of our wealth, a sort of mobile status symbol.

Now that we have identified the source of financial peer pressure, what steps can you take to resist it?

• Quit worrying what other people think about you. This might be the best advice for your financial future. Sam Walton didn’t care what people thought about him when he drove that old pickup truck to new Walmart store openings. Warren Buffet probably couldn’t care less what people think of his clothes, his shoes, or his accessories. I’m not suggesting we walk around looking like a complete slob, but if you want to get out from under [tag]financial peer pressure[/tag] a good first step is to stop wasting your time, money and energy on impressing other people.

• Quit taking advice from broke people. Ever notice that the first ones to give you financial advice are the ones leveraged to their eyeballs in debt? They always have a hot stock tip for you, or tell you to get that second mortgage to pay for a cruise that you “so deserve.” If these people also happen to be close friends or family you may feel some added pressure to take their advice. It’s perfectly acceptable to thank them for their advice and then completely ignore it!

• Don’t follow the crowd if the crowd isn’t headed in the direction you want to be moving. When I tell people that I will not have a car payment for the rest of my life they respond with, “What? Everyone has to have a car payment.” Oh really? Not if everyone saved their money and paid for a used car with cash. Accepting such societal norms are a sure-fire way to steer yourself into unnecessary debt.

Not long ago on a shopping trip with my daughter she said something very profound. After telling me 17 reasons why I should buy a new Disney DVD for her I stood my ground and told her we could not afford it this trip. She wasn’t giving up that easy, and continued to remind me that I had just been to the bank and “ought to have money from my work.”

That’s when it hit me – it was time for the talk. No, not that talk! It was time for the budget talk, the kids budget game, you know the “money doesn’t grow on trees” talk. This is the first of a series of [tag]money[/tag] talks you need to have with your kids to help them grow up to be millionaires.

When we got home I gathered up four quarters and gave them to my daughter. I told her that the four quarters represented Daddy’s paycheck, and I explained that she had to give me quarters to pay for ALL the expenses we had during the month.

• 1st Quarter – Taxes. Before we could spend anything I asked for one quarter and explained that the government collected this one right out of Daddy’s paycheck for taxes. The inevitable question, “What are taxes?” came next. Taxes are money that the government collects on income to pay for schools, roads, libraries and other important things that help people (I decided to keep it light, and not mention the hundreds of millions of dollars in wasteful government spending).

• 2nd Quarter – Housing. I gently plucked the second quarter from her palm as she frowned. With the second quarter we pay for our house, our power for lights and heat, cable, internet and telephone bills, and any other monthly expenses. At this point she looked down and half her money was gone. She wasn’t impressed with this exercise, but I could tell it was starting to sink in.

• 3rd Quarter – Transportation. I took her next-to-last quarter and told her this paid for Mommy’s car, car insurance to help in case we have an accident, gas and regular maintenance like oil changes and new tires. She was ready to pocket that last quarter and was growing impatient. However, the most important part of this exercise was coming up next.

• 4th Quarter – Savings, Spending, and Giving. This was our last quarter, and with this money we had to fit all our remaining goals into a [tag]budget[/tag]. First, we wanted to save some money for our future. Then we needed to give some of it away. *This is a good place to talk about the importance of giving. Giving doesn’t always have to be in monetary form. My daughter has attended a wonderful workshop called Project Linus where people get together and knit blankets for children who have experienced some form of hardship (death in the family, accident, etc.). This is an excellent opportunity for her to donate both her time, and her money, to a very worthy cause.

After saving and giving away a portion of that last quarter, we also need to budget for our spending. This last bit of money has to pay for our food, entertainment, cleaning supplies, paper products, and gifts for the entire month. The more we spend on gifts and entertainment, the less we have for food.

After wrapping up the lesson with this last quarter I could see a light bulb go off. By giving my daughter something tangible to represent our income she was able to understand that there are things you have to pay for (food, shelter, transportation), and things you can choose to spend money on (gifts and entertainment). All categories must be paid for with a finite supply of money. By reducing the discretionary categories we have more money to spend on those we value more (saving, giving, our home, etc.).

Since that conversation she has asked me a few follow up questions regarding taxes. I try to answer them the best way I know how, but I have to confess I’ve been paying them for 15 years and I still don’t fully understand them myself! Oh, don’t forget to give her the quarters back, cheapskate.

The following is part of Frugal Dad’s weekly series, “So You Want to Be a Blogger?” which chronicles the development and optimization of a blog’s lifecycle.

To celebrate a couple upcoming statistical milestones (100 subscribers and 10,000 unique visitors) here at Frugal Dad I thought I would kick off the inaugural post for my “So You Want to Be a Blogger” series. I plan to post a weekly article over the next several weeks detailing my experience as a newbie in the [tag]blogging[/tag] community. Hopefully, some of my tips will help you along the way, but I imagine you’ll learn more from my mistakes (and there are plenty of them to learn from!).

I maintained a few blogs on Blogger.com over the last couple years, writing about my attempts to lose weight, about my family, etc. For some reason they always fizzled without attracting much interest, even from their author. Looking back I realized what was lacking – passion. I simply wasn’t passionate about the subject. I was passionate about trying to lose weight, but not enough to sit down in front of the computer every night and write a few hundred words about the experience. So before deciding to start Frugal Dad I reflected on what my real interests were, and which of those I felt I could sustain over the long term. In the end I settled on the broad topic of personal finance, and the frugality niche. Here’s how I came to that conclusion.

Frugal living is a popular concept, but not one that many people are actually practicing these days. When trying to narrow down a topic for your blog, consider what you have to offer to readers in that niche. Do you have some specific experience with the subject? Do you have a contrary belief that goes against the status quo? If you were a reader why would you choose your blog over someone else in the same niche? In my case I am the guy that still rolls coins, drives an old truck, buy clothes once or twice a year (from eBay when possible), clips coupons, and recently cut out expanded cable. Weird, huh? People out there buying the daily $4 lattes and the $2,200 plasma screen televisions sure think so! There are also a lot of people who think like I do and enjoy hearing someone else validate their ideas.

Forget keywords, meta tags and article marketing. Just be yourself – for the first 50 posts or so. Later on you can start to look at enhancing your articles to be more search engine friendly. Too many people make the mistake of focusing on traffic results up front, before they find their voice. Readers need to identify with you through your own natural words. Readers are not calculating your keyword density, they are reviewing your thoughts and deciding whether or not you are worth following.

Before you write your first article create a list of at least ten topics in your niche that you will cover over the next two weeks. If you can’t complete this exercise you should consider broadening your blog’s main idea, or switching gears altogether. Ten ideas should be a no-brainer. Ten things that tick you off, or make you happy, or make you laugh should be easy to draft if you are really passionate about your subject. I did this exercise two or three times before settling on the topic of frugal living.

Be prepared to write about peripheral interests related to your blog’s main idea. This post is a good example of writing on peripheral topics. If you look at my category listing you will see that I write primarily on the subject of frugal living. However, I also write about careers, personal productivity, debt reduction, etc. These are all topics that are indirectly related to frugality, and are directly related to the blog’s larger theme, personal finance. Admittedly, no matter how passionate you are about a specific topic, it can get boring writing about the same thing day in and day out. Your readers would probably agree.

Be prepared to throw in an article every three or four posts off the topic of your main subject. Don’t overdo it, else you may appear to be one of those “variety” bloggers who writes about what they had for dinner and how many times their kids used the potty that day. Few people are able to pull off a successful blog without some level of focus. Speaking of, I better get back to frugal living.

Ready to start your own blog?  I host my blogs with HostGator–a great host with awesome support!

For most of my life I’ve been a bit of a dreamer with an entrepreneurial streak here and there. Those two attributes seemingly go together quite well, but unfortunately in my case they turned me into a great “starter,” and a lousy “finisher.” I was great at starting up business ideas, weight loss goals, educational goals, etc., but I rarely had the perseverance to see it all the way through.

That changed in the winter of 2000 when my daughter was born. Becoming a father made me reflect on the things I wanted for her life, and made me realize the things I would need to change about my own life to get her, and the rest of my family, to our goals. For instance, a couple years earlier I had given up on my personal dream to obtain a college degree. I attended college right of high school and selected pre-medicine as my intended major. I always wanted to be a doctor, but never really reflected on whether or not that was my true passion. After completing nearly two years of school I got burned out. A death in my family, and a love interest took me home and I began to work with the dream of finishing school quickly fading.

My daughter’s birth inspired me to return to the classroom in the summer of 2000, changing majors to computer information systems in the business school. For the next five years I toiled away attending night classes after working full time during the day. I only saw my wife and daughter on weekends and during a quick lunch and dinner at home. It was a grueling schedule, one that tested my relationship with my wife. Without her support I never could have done it. Along the way I learned a lot about myself. I learned what it took to see a dream through to the finish line. Since finishing up that degree I’ve applied these steps to other areas of my life with success.

• Write down your goal. Dreaming up goals in your head is great, but putting them down in writing creates sort of a contract with yourself. I wrote down my New Year’s Resolution around Y2K as “I will return to the classroom this year and successfully complete two semesters of school towards a business degree.”

• Plan out the steps required to reach your goal. I remember about half way through my degree I felt like giving up. I visited a counselor and asked for an updated list of all the courses I would need to finish my course of study. I hung that list up over my desk and struck them off one by one each semester. This served as sort of a visual road map for where I was headed, and what stood in the way from me accomplishing my goal.

• Reflect on what you have already accomplished. It’s easy to get discouraged when chasing a dream. I’ve found that the longer it takes to accomplish something the easier it is to become demoralized. That’s because the goal line seems so far away and we forget how far we have come. Take time to recognize your efforts. If you have $30,000 worth of debt to pay off and are barely half way there it can seem overwhelming. Instead of looking ahead to the remaining $16,000 left to pay, recognize that you have eliminated $14,000 of debt from your life. You have most likely improved your debt-income ratio, your FICO score, and your personal net worth.

• Never completely lose sight of your dream. Imagine you are a private investigator tailing someone for a client. At times it might be necessary to drop back a little and put some distance between you and a target, but you never completely lose sight of them. This is the approach I take towards following my dreams. Sometimes you have to slow down when life gets in the way. Take a semester off from school. Take a couple “mental health” days away from your job. If you feel yourself burning out it’s usually a good time to take a small break, but never a permanent one. Great finishers never completely lose sight of their dreams.

Over time I have really started to despise Visa commercials. The particularly low ones are the “Life Takes Visa” spots which depicts a series of smooth Visa transactions which come to a screeching halt when some supposed Neanderthal uses cash, or heaven-forbid, writes a check. What makes the commercials particularly comical is that I have never been behind a speedy person in line swiping their Visa credit or debit card. Maybe it’s those idiotic POS terminals that throw a wrench into the wheels of commerce.

1. Enter Your Pin Number. Not too difficult, assuming I can remember it since I’m told to never write it down, never disclose it to anyone, and guard it closer than a top secret classified document. I used to get cute and covert the numbers to letters and build a word, until I couldn’t remember the word plus the 17 passwords I have to remember at work.
2. Do You Want Cash Back? No. I don’t want cash back. If I did I would visit an ATM machine or a bank. If I am swiping $97 worth of groceries chances are I don’t want to grab another $40 out of my checking account. Has anyone actually done a study to determine how many people get cash back from a pack of chewing gum? Sad thing is they are probably swiping a Visa card because they didn’t have $1.06 in cash to pay for the gum in the first place.
3. Is the Amount Correct? You’re asking me if the amount is correct? As if I would question the computational power of today’s point-of-sale terminal? I always want to scuttle the whole process here and select “No.” When questioned I ask to speak to a manager and ask how many decimals the calculations are carried. If it is less than seven I launch into a five minute dissertation on the phenomenon of minute computational errors costing consumers billions in rounded up charges. For some reason I just haven’t had the guts to try this one.
4. Are You Sure? Oh get on with it, my ice cream is melting! Yes, I’m sure, for the third time! Just deduct the $97 from my checking account as swiftly as you do in those commercials and we can move along.
5. Waiting for Cashier. Am I on candid camera? What does the cashier have to do with this transaction? After all, she has been validating my coupons throughout this whole process and now we are dependent on her to hit an “OK” key to finalize things?
6. Incorrect PIN. I need a drink.

Friday night was “game night” and we all gathered around the Scrabble board. Frugal Dad barely pulled out a victory over the wife and kids, but they kept it a close match.

Saturday I visited a library in a neighboring town (with more of a selection than our local library). I picked up five or six great reads on the 52 week reading series, and a couple that were not. That should keep my busy for a while.

Saturday afternoon I steam-cleaned our carpets using a Hoover SteamVac we bought last last year. With two kids and a 100 lb. dog we decided this was a good investment, and I haven’t been disappointed with its performance. With the cost of renting cleaning equipment continuing to rise this easily paid for itself after only a couple uses.

And now for a quick roundup of a few of my favorite articles over the past week:

7 Reasons My Life is More Fulfilling from My Super-Charged Life reminds us what is really important in this world. The beautiful thing is bank account balances appeared no where near this list!

Things I Didn’t Learn in College: Part 4 – How I Learned to Stop Fooling Myself. Ron reminds us to be careful to look at things objectively, and not to simply look for things that agree with our preconceived ideas. This is important in the world of finance, as many people tend to seek out advice that agrees with what they are already planning to do, instead of looking for the best advice available.

I Say Spend Your Economic Stimulus Check! Ciaran has won me over. Initially I was planning to drop the entire tax rebate check on debt reduction, but his article points out several reasons why you should consider spending it on thoughtful purchases that can upgrade you life. I think I’ll compromise with a 50-50 debt reduction-spending ratio.

Trent tells us about his plan to achieve financial independence in Financial Independence: Defining It and Figuring Out How to Get There. The thought of achieving F.I. is motivation enough to continue to get out of debt and make savings a priority.

Tricia is under $15,000 in credit card debt thanks to some help from Craigslist sales, a few ING referrals and hard work from her husband. Next up, the $10k milestone and then it’s single digits from there – great job Tricia!

What Can You Do With Unwanted Gift Cards over at WiseBread features some good ideas for unloading those gift cards you haven’t used since Christmas. That’s why I like to receive cash – it spends anywhere.

Mommy Gets Paid reminds us to maximize those coupon savings in More Bang for Your Coupon Buck. We recently tried to get back on track with our coupon savings, so this made for a very timely reminder.

Minimalist Meals: Fantastic Food in Ten Minutes or Less as reviewed by J.D. I’m gearing up for a busy week at work and I’ve bookmarked this one for some quick dinner ideas. I’m wondering if “hot dogs on buns” or “Southeast Asia Steak Salad” would go over better with the kids. Maybe I’ll have to cook two meals that night!

Have a great President’s Day weekend everyone!

Along with Your Money or Your Life, The Total Money Makeover really had a lasting impact on my life. I have been a fan of Dave Ramsey for as long as I can remember listening to talk radio. As a matter of fact, I listened to Dave before he was a national celebrity, before the 60 Minutes interview, before the book deals, before the Oprah appearances, and before the show on Fox Business Channel. My wife and I attended one of his live events a few years ago, and I credit it with finally getting her on board with out financial turnaround. Last week I reread The Total Money Makeover for the first time in a long time, and have provided a detailed review below.

Chapters 1-5: Debunking Financial Myths

In Denial. The number one reason people refuse to change is because the refuse to accept they are in trouble to begin with. Even those with just a small amount of debt refuse to accept they are in debt and work to kill off what they owe. Instead, they just kind of wander along through life with no goals of ever improving their financial lives.

Debt Myths. Thanks to a billion dollar banking and credit industry we have been sold on the idea that debt is normal. “Everyone has to have a car payment” and “you can’t buy a house without a mortgage” are commonly accepted ideas regarding debt. It’s Dave Ramsey’s assertion that we don’t have to live with debt, we simply need to deny ourselves life’s latest toys and save for those that we do want to buy. The bumper sticker on my old truck best sums up this section of the book: “Debt is normal. Be weird.”

Money Myths. This section reminds me of the old phrase, “Money is not the root of all evil, the love of money is the root of all evil.” In other words, money is not the answer to all life’s problems, but it can make life easier if we use it wisely.

Financial Ignorance. Our public education system has done a particularly poor job of giving our youth a solid financial footing before setting them out in the real world. Unless these kids have financially-savvy parents they grow up ignorant on how to manage their finances. I was in this category – though I wouldn’t call myself ignorant, just confused. I sort of floundered throughout my 20’s when I could have been building a fabulous foundation for my family.

Got to Keep Up With the Joneses. Financial peer pressure is a net worth killer. We spend more time, money and energy trying to keep up with others than we do appreciating what we have. This is particularly true of young people. As you get older, you start to develop an “I don’t really care what other people think” attitude. This is the attitude that sets you free, financially. Quit trying to keep up with the Joneses – they’re broke, too!

Remaining Chapters: The Baby Steps

The remainder of The Total Money Makeover outlines Dave Ramsey’s plan for making over your finances in seven “baby steps.” The “baby steps” theme comes from that old Bill Murray movie, What About Bob. Remember, his therapist (Richard Dreyfus) convinces him to take “baby steps” to break through his paralyzing fear of the world. Ramsey’s baby steps start with saving a beginner emergency fund and end with investing for wealth. Here’s more on the baby steps:

1. Save $1,000 in a Beginner Emergency Fund. Until you put some separation between you and the financial cliff you’ve been dangling over the last several years you will never succeed, financially. $1,000 isn’t a lot of money these days, but it is enough to cover most car repairs and replace broken appliances. This baby emergency fund should be kept ultra-liquid, and easily accessible. A good place to start is at your local bank account or credit union. Do not “invest” this money; this fund is for emergencies only.
2. Develop a Debt Snowball. Forgetting interest rates and annual fees for a moment, Ramsey advocates lining up your debts smallest to largest. Make minimum payments on all the debts, and attack the little one with every extra dollar you can squeeze from your budget. When that smallest debt is paid off move on to the next one, combining that debt’s minimum payment with the amount you were paying on the first debt, plus any extra you can squeeze from the monthly budget. In this way, each time you move up a debt your “snowball” gets larger and larger. By the end of the your debt snowball plan you could be making monthly payment well in excess of $1,000 a month towards a car payment or large credit card balance.
3. Save 3-6 Months of Expenses in an Emergency Fund. Now it’s time to beef up the emergency fund you started in Baby Step 1. Calculate 3-6 months of expenses (not income) and use that as your savings goal. If you are single, or married with only one income, lean towards the 6-month figure. For most families their goal amount should be around $10,000 in a high-yielding savings account. *Note, step 3b is to begin saving for a large purchase, such as a down payment for a home or to upgrade a car with cash. This should only be started after you have a fully-funded emergency fund in place.
4. Save 15% of Your Income for Retirement. If you suspended retirement contributions to get to this point, now is the time to restart those contributions. If you have an employer-sponsored plan such as a 401k that offers a match, invest up to the matching percentage, but no further. Any amount above that, up to 15% of your income, save in a Roth IRA.
5. Save for the Kid’s College. It’s important to note that this step comes after saving for your own retirement. Many parents, with good intentions, put saving for their kids’ college funds ahead of their own financial goals. This is a bad idea. They don’t offer grants or work-study programs to pay for your retirement. If you are without savings for college, there are alternative ways to fund an education. Ramsey sort of hedges here – citing that kids tend to get more out of their education if they pay for it themselves. Then again, he confesses that it is a noble goal to pay for your kid’s education. Since I personally took the student loan route, and lived to regret it, I will try to find a way to cover most of my children’s education expenses. Part time jobs aren’t all bad though, and if they develop an expensive taste for clothes or toys in college they can get a job and pay for those themselves.
6. Pay Off Your Mortgage Early. This is one of the most controversial steps because most financial experts will tell you that money spent reducing a mortgage could earn you a much better rate in the market. Maybe, but Dave Ramsey isn’t all about math. His specialty is personal finance. Without a mortgage payment, and no other debts, you can become very wealthy, very fast. Paying off all debt, including mortgages, eliminates a large amount of risk from our lives. If you are thinking of buying a house consider a 100% down plan – paying for the entire purchase with cash. If you must finance the deal, consider a 15-year, fixed rate mortgage and then work to pay it off even earlier.
7. Invest for Wealth. The final step in your total money makeover is to invest all remaining income for wealth. Without any debt payments, a large percentage of your income (your best wealth-building tool) can be invested above retirement account savings.

As I mentioned in the introduction, I credit this book with really getting my financial life turned around. I’m one of those people who loves to do things in steps. I attack many problems this way, and developing a game plan around The Total Money Makeover’s baby steps is a great way to turn around your finances. I highly recommend this book as one of my top three favorite financial books of all time.