Do you know someone who is “perpetual poor?” You know the type – constantly complaining, poor-mouthing, griping about the price of everything and jealous of everything others have. I think we all know at least one or two of those types.
I’ve had the displeasure of knowing many, and over time I have heard my share of sob stories related to their personal finances. I recognize that some people are generally down on their luck, or going through a rough patch. Maybe they have faced a debilitating illness, or a job layoff, or some other tragic event that has derailed them from leading successful, productive lives. Those are not the people I am referring to when I attach the label “perpetual poor.”
Perpetual poor people have a language of their own – a way of speaking that almost immediately identifies them as members of this class. When kids are young and they use an inappropriate word parents remind them to “watch their language.” As adults we still need an occasional reminder when we utter a financial expletive. I recognize that the words that follow will likely step on some toes, so put on a pair of steel-toe boots and read on.
“The poor man just can’t get ahead”
Quite possibly my all-time favorite statement of those with a poor attitude. This one is often muttered by someone insecure in their own abilities, and lacking any aspiration to improve their lot in life. They go around knocking “rich” people, minimizing their efforts by insinuating that they are rich because they are lucky, or because their parents were rich.
In some cases, both may be true, but the average millionaire in America started with nothing and built a successful career through hard work, dedication and a never-ending willingness to acquire new knowledge. Remember, there are no financial Cinderellas.
How to identify members of this group:
- Can recite the last five winners of American Idle (that’s not a typo) from memory
- Haven’ t picked up a book since high school
- Never stretched to learn a new skill at work, but complain about being passed over for promotions
“We struggle just to make ends meet”
A close cousin of “poor man” who can’t get ahead, this group thinks it could get ahead if it weren’t for a variety of external forces holding them back. Rising gas prices, a shrinking economy, and the President of the United States all conspire to keep them down. They spend up to their income (and then some), save virtually nothing and frequently splurge on unnecessary items because “they deserve it” (see below).
How to identify members of this group:
- They can frequently be spotted moving about new car lots on Sunday afternoons leaving a trail of drool in their wake
- Convenience stores are a hot spot for picking up the weekly supply of beer and cigarettes
- Several times a year their habitats go dark while they retreat to the nearest beach for a much-deserved break
“Everyone has a car payment – it is a fact of life”
Speaking of new car lots, if you manage to run across a member of the perpetual poor species here and asked them to justify their presence you’ll hear that everyone has to have a car payment. They are too expensive to buy with cash! That may be the smartest thing these types will ever admit. New cars are too expensive to buy with cash, that’s why I choose to buy used cars in good mechanical condition and drive them until the lug nuts fall off.
How to identify members of this group:
- The easiest way to spot members of this group is to look around parking lots at crowded shopping malls. They usually park at least 100ft from the building and perpendicular to the parking spot’s stripes, making sure to take up three spots. This is to lessen the chances of dings from car doors and shopping carts. After all, they pay nearly as much for this automobile as they do for their homes so it makes sense to protect such an “investment.”
- Revving engines, sunburned foreheads in convertibles and Mercedes symbol key chains are other common signs
“The only way to get rich in America is to hit the lottery”
Another personal favorite of mine. The lottery is effectively a government sponsored tax on poor people. Don’t believe me? Check out lottery sales by zip code of any participating state and you will discover that the majority of lottery tickets are sold in the poorest sections of town.
It is no secret, really. If you are ever around a gas station on Friday night you see them lined up at the counter forking over $20 of their hard-earned paycheck for their chance at financial glory. And just try telling them that $20 a week in a mutual fund averaging 8% growth for 30 years adds up to $130,000. Who can afford to invest in mutual funds?
How to identify members of this group:
- Frequently spotted at convenience stores, bingo halls and anywhere video poker is allowed
- Usually absent one week out of the year for the annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas, Biloxi or Atlantic City
- Excluded from this category: Otherwise financially independent individuals who play the lottery, or bingo as a hobby
“I work hard so I deserve it”
One of the most common statements of the perpetual poor class. These people typically do work hard, but believe their lavish lifestyles are justified because they are such hard workers, as if no one else is out here hustling for a dollar. Perhaps if they “deserved” less they wouldn’t have to work so hard.
The fact is there have been many before you, and many who will come after, who have worked much harder, for much longer periods of time without ever getting a break or a material reward. My great-grandmother raised nine children during the depression era, hand-washing cloth diapers for twenty-two years in a row, preparing meals for eleven people from scratch (and not much scratch to work with), and ironing by candle light late into the night. Sitting in an air conditioned office all day playing with computers would have seemed like a vacation to her.
How to identify members of this group:
- Often seen double parked in front of a Best Buy store trying to squeeze a 52″ plasma television into their hatchback.
- Male species frequently spotted driving huge pickup trucks with six tires, dual exhaust, and an ATV loaded in the back.
“You Can’t Take It With You”
A review of the lifetime earnings statement of this class of perpetual poor would reveal lifetime spending well in excess of lifetime earnings, leaving nothing saved for a rainy day or a future retirement. They expect to work late and die young, leaving little reason to save for their golden years. If they should happen to be forced to retire early they will live on social insecurity, complaining about the benefits all the while.
No, we can’t take it with us, but we can be responsible adults and save to support our future selves rather than being a financial burden to our loved ones. We can also use the opportunity to help our loved ones, who will become our legacy, get on solid financial footing and continue the tradition of passing generational wealth to the new branches of our family tree.
How to identify members of this group:
- Savings account balance: $52.29
- Retirement Funds: $0.00 (cashed it out after leaving last job to pay off credit card debt)
- Life insurance coverage: $0.00 – can’t afford the premiums
At various points in my life I have probably been a member of each of the above classes, which inherently qualifies me to make fun of them. However, if you find yourself a member of one of the these perpetual poor classes it doesn’t have to be a permanent diagnosis. It is possible to overcome a perpetual poor mentality, but it involves some heavy-duty lifting on our part to rise above our circumstances. It also takes a complete attitude overhaul, so watch your language!
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What I find most interesting are the poeple who think they are in this poor part of the population and are makiing $100,000. We are a military family and live on a military salary only. This is not a lot of money, but we have done it with me at home with our 4 kids. We own our own home, and have all the luxuries we need. I don’t understand how someone making almost twice as much can say they can’t afford a house. It boggles the mind. Then again, I look at the kinds of cars they drive and the big screen tv in every room, and I realize why they can’t afford it. The other stuff, the status symbols of desiner cars and clothes, are more important than a true investment. I think you hit it right on the head when you said people are not willing to look at what they are spending on lottery tickets and put it in just a normal savings account. Glad to know others see what I see in the world.
“stocks are for rich people”
My Dad told me this in 1975 or 76, and talked me out of investing ~$5,000 in the early days of Microsoft.
You know what … my Dad was right — just not in the sense he intended it.
You have described my ex-husband perfectly, as well as most of his family. It’s not about the money.
I didn’t grow up with money, but my mom taught me form the beginning to not spend more than you have.
When it came time for me to get a new car, I wanted to go new but I went used. The car was $8k but I only had $5k in savings, so I had to take out a loan. I only needed $3k from the bank, however their “policy” is to give whatever % of what the car is worth. Thus, forcing me to take out a loan that was a little over $6k. BUT I got them! I paid the rest of my $5k, plus some on my FIRST payment (thus not getting interest tacked onto that $5k I wanted to put down in the first place) dropping the loan to about $2,500. I then worked OT and side jobs to make extra payments. With a lot of hard work I was able to pay off my car loan and ALL of my student loans this last year. It took a lot of dedication to stick with it, but thanks to all of the hard work I have started to save money for a down payment for a house.
I am in my mid 20’s and most of my friends have nicer stuff than I do. I do get jealous and want to buy those same material things, but I try to fight the urge. I try to save money however I can. I am the only one of my friends who uses coupons. My friends get embarrassed by me when I use that 40 cents off coupon at dinner. But you know what, by the end of the year I probably saved $20.
The lesson I wanted to share: Just because the bank will give you more money than you need, doesn’t mean you should spend it!
I loved this post!!!! I got a kick out of this line: “New cars are too expensive to buy with cash, that’s why I choose to buy used cars in good mechanical condition and drive them until the lug nuts fall off.” LMAO!!
LOVE THAT!
Of course I loved the whole thing but that part had me hollering. I came here from Oh My Aching Debts and I am definately subscribing.
Y’know there is some value to purchasing a new car, given the sometimes-dramatic increases in fuel efficiency and considerable safety improvements (like side-curtain airbags).
In the 12 years we’ve been married, my wife & I have ONLY purchased new cars. But… we’ve also only purchased 3 new cars and we still own 2 of those. And… we purchased all 3 with cash. Flat out. No payments.
I drove my old Nissan pickup for 14 years before finally deciding to trade up to my Honda Element which is now a bit more than 5-years old. I have no plans – or need – to trade up anytime soon.
You CAN buy a new car AND not have payments. It’s just a matter of budgeting in advance and holding tight until you actually have the money to buy the car outright.
Also, it’s well worth remembering that bigger vehicles are not by any means safer than small ones. The perceived added safety of SUVs is seriously misguided. They’re just much more expensive to purchase and operate. Smaller is better!
Really interesting and amusing article. Love some of the comments too, especially the one about the guy’s dad saying “stocks are for rich people”. I think there is a lot to be said about how parents can warp
their child’s perspective on wealthy people. My mom’s
off handed remarks about the rich really made me feel like I or we would never be a part of that inner circle, or there was perhaps something wrong with the fact that someone was rich. I believe it impacted me significantly and is as bad as the polar opposite, which would be an unhealthy obsession with wealth.
Negativity can have a tremendous impact on children, and young adults.
And to the readers that believe the content of this article is making fun of poor people, you need a course in reading comprehension. I would argue the reader is saying it’s a state of mind, which fuels bad decisions/behaviors, and thus leads to an unbreakable circle. I tend to agree. It’s also a commentary on warped senses of entitlement.
It’s interesting to see the contradiction being stated here–that it’s not fair for the rich to be expected to give money to the poor because the rich worked hard and deserve their money, BUT, if the “perpetually poor” spend their money because “I worked hard and I deserve it,” for some reason that is an attitude to be mocked. You know, from where I’m sitting, I don’t see much difference in the two.
Also? The attitude that a “welfare mom” should just “get off her butt and go get a job”–I don’t suppose it occurred to any of you that maybe some moms want to actually raise their own kids? Maybe you think having a family is only a treat to be “deserved” by those who “work hard,” or maybe you think having kids is just a hobby that you get around to when you’ve saved up the money for it, but some of us don’t think that way, thank you very much.
(I’m not on welfare myself–but to tell you the truth, it’s for two reasons. One, even after welfare “reform,” welfare still seems primarily designed to keep poor people poor. Two, I like not being looked down upon just because I chose to take advantage of a government so-called benefit. I will never understand why it’s OK for a military spouse with kids to take government handouts, even though she’s not the one off fighting wars, but not OK for a civilian mom to do the same. And I’ve BEEN a military spouse.)
That said, I agree there is language and there are attitudes that blind people to the ways they can get out of various financial predicaments. But it would be nice if PF writers would be a bit more, I dunno, even-handed about this stuff instead of perpetually looking for someone to kick in the teeth? It’s not like any of these folks are harming YOU.
Oh, and, just in case it’s in question at all? If you’re a mom, you *are* working. Maybe you aren’t making a paycheck, but gee, if we asked for that then we’d be parenting for personal gain and that just ain’t right, y’all. *eyeroll* So you’re darned if you do and you’re darned if you don’t, am I right?
Yes, some people make choices that others might consider financially irresponsible. Do not forget the context in which those decisions are made. We live in a culture that promotes consumerism, and promotes debt – just look at our national debt.
Perhaps instead of making fun of people who are struggling financially, we should talk about how to make sure people have the tools to make smarter choices. Rich or poor, most people in our country spend money on things they absolutely do not need.
Maybe there needs to be more of a focus on teaching young adults how to do some basic budgeting and financial planning during high school. It doesn’t seem like we’re doing enough to prep kids for when they get out on their own and become easy prey for credit card companies and loads of other “easy money” sharks.
wow, this is amazing because i work at a convenience store and im alway amazed at how much money people spend on lottery tickets looking to make it big. But then I tell em the odds of winning which is you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning 5 times than winning the lottery, sorry but to me thats a losers game, and I try to explain to them to save and invest a portion of all their income, but they only say why should I you cant take it with you when you die. Which I reply well what’s gonna happen when you get old and social security isn’t enough, are u gonna go back to work at 65, no thanks im cool with that. And what about their children I ask, dont you want to see your children prosperous in the future and leave a legacy and its like talking to a wall. A little bit saved and invested every paycheck with an interest bearing account equals a hefty sum over time. Plus if you manage to save enough to start a buis, the money saved will accelerate and so will your net worth. Its really simple to become wealthy, you just need a plan first and stick to it every time you get money, and try to hold onto every penny possibly, and try not to spend on stupid things you want, but rather things you need, but always pay yourself first. Thats my 2 cents on that.
I think we SHOULD remind others that living within their means is what they should be striving for. It is easy to forget that, when you don’t have enough for basics. One of my parents was very frugal, so much so it turned me off from scrimping. As an adult, ny health went bad on me in my 20s, my husband of 15 years chose drug abuse in my 30s so I divorced, and a big health problem emerged in my 40’s. Each time my financial life was decimated. For years I’ve struggled back to physical and financial health. Today I’m doing well. But through all the problems I forgot the concept of living within my means. I honestly forgot that should be a goal. I never had enough to afford the basics. Any budget I made on paper never allowed for clothes or medical care, yet somehow I did manage those things. We need to remind poor people they should have hope for enough. Without the hope, they will never try. The rules of money aren’t obvious when you’re poor. The things-that-work-for-you-when-you’re-poor don’t work when you have enough or more than enough. Becoming prosperous requires a major paradigm change. We need to let poor people know that. They face disappointment every day but many will come around if they hear it often.
This post is directed at the few of you who have suggested that the article was meant to make fun of people who don’t have money. I think you are taking this a little too personally. I’m not going to get anecdotal about the topic: We can all cite stories that support our beliefs. However, I will tell you that having kids is, in fact, a luxury. I am not going to get into a philosophical or religious debate with anyone regarding that statement, but if you decide to have kids, you damn well better be able to provide for them. Above and beyond that, you have no room to complain. If you don’t have “enough” money, you shouldn’t have had the children. Yes, there are situations in which there was no choice; rape, for example. That is a very difficult personal choice to make for some, and if they decide to keep the child, that is what government assistance was meant for in the first place. No one is pointing a finger at those people and telling them they made a bad decision. It is the people who have opportunity and spurn it that this article is discussing.
I have too many “rich” friends who have some guilty feeling for having money and feel compelled to defend anyone without it (as several of you have). Well, I have money and I worked extremely hard for it and made a lot of sacrifices – like not having children right now. My wife and I are finally in a financial position to have children AND be able to provide the kind of life we want them to have. That is a decision we made. If you made a different one, that is fine. But don’t think the system is unjust simply because it doesn’t suit your choices.
Your examples remind me of several people I know.
1) He and his wife earn less than me and my wife, but they have a bigger house, three cars, ATV, and a boat. Most of it must be on credit because he could not get his house refinanced recently to take advantage of the super low rates.
2) She is going through a bankruptcy on $60K in various non-mortgage debt, My wife ran into her and she mentioned the $300 doll house she bought her 3yo for Christmas and the new coat she had that only cost $200. I really don’t think that this lady has any real chance over building any wealth despite a good salary that even allows her to work from home.
By the way, when anyone uses one of these lines on your, you should send them to this video of a counselor helping someone with their issues.
Excellent post & comments!!! Awhile back, I saw a money program in which a high school Math teacher was short of money & used the cash-advance high interest place…TWICE! This fellow had major debt from this place as well as his previous poor financial decisions. I don’t know about you, but didn’t we go to school to learn practical things that we’d use when we grew up, like critical thinking & commonsensible ways to create a good adult life for us & our families? For crying out loud, this guy is teaching our children! Also, when I was a kid, my parents mismanaged their money & then argued who was at fault when they had too much month at the end of their money…that taught me that I did not want to be like that. I learned through trial & error…I’m not wealthy, but I’m not poor & stressed either. I’m no rocket surgeon…so if I can do it, others can too! Sorry about the “when I was a kid…” but it is my history. Thanx again for the website & the post.
“Rocket surgeon”–very funny!
Alison Hicks has a good point: “We need to remind poor people they should have hope for enough. Without the hope, they will never try. The rules of money aren’t obvious when you’re poor. The things-that-work-for-you-when-you’re-poor don’t work when you have enough or more than enough. Becoming prosperous requires a major paradigm change. We need to let poor people know that. They face disappointment every day but many will come around if they hear it often.”
Actually there is an excellent book called Understanding Poverty (or Understanding the Framework of Poverty) by Ruby Payne. This is presented as a PD workshop for teachers, which I think is excellent. The rules of surviving as a poor person are different than as a middle class person. So what’s the interior logic for the poor person? Payne explains this…and how it affects so many areas of life.
It’s important for schoolteachers to know, to not write of poor kids as trash from a trashy family (I’ve witnessed teachers saying this about children!)–but to learn how to teach the kids to see the two systems of thinking and operation, and if they want to ascend to the middle class, it takes an overhaul in thoughts and behaviors, and the teachers can help them with that.
I work at a community college and try to help people with this paradigm shift. A college degree is not going to change your life and deliver a high paying job on a silver platter…if you don’t quit thinking and acting poor. No employer would hire that if they could avoid it…because it causes problems in the workplace and is underproductive.
There are those who choose to be poor because they are afraid of taking risks, and their family and friends might not love them any more if they “git above their raisin’.”
Classist leanings aside (boot strap comments, etc.) a pretty reliable catalog of financial advice. Until I hit, “Excluded from this category: Otherwise financially independent individuals who play the lottery.”
I don’t understand how someone so obsessed with financial responsibility deems it okay to throw one’s money away for fun. The last time I looked up the lottery, you had a better chance getting stuck by lightning than winning. So those $20 bills would be better spent in your aforementioned mutual funds.
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