Comments on: Sunday Conversation: Raising Frugal Kids Edition

By: Luke @ Money & Fitness Blog

Luke @ Money & Fitness Blog — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 13:55:39 +0000

What is your favorite thing about running this website?

By: Sandra

Sandra — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:21:01 +0000

This was a great topic and provided a lot of food for thought. We have four children all with different attitudes towards things, I find my third child remarkable, material processions are just not that important to her and she would give it to you if you needed. I think a lot like Lisa they are born with their spirit and sure they can be influenced a lot by society but basically they are who they are.

I would love you to take on that college topic and personal responsibility as well. We will be going through that next year.

By: J

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:05:57 +0000

Great topic!

Lisa, I love your idea of not giving your children gifts for their birthday, but doing something with them instead. I think we will start doing that at our house.

Frugal Dad, here is a topic for another day that I would love to hear you thoughts on. When your teens leave the nest, how and when do you shift financial responsibility? I think college is a great transition period in life. You are away from home for the first time and take on new freedoms and responsibilities. Financial responsibilites just naturally start to shift because mom and dad are not there to take care of you anymore. But what about children who do not go away to college? My husband and I have an 18 year old at home who is going to the local junior college. So now the question is when and how do we start shifting her finances from our responsibility to hers? Should she be paying for her own cell phone now? What about medical bills? Car Insurance? What would you do?

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:54:15 +0000

We don’t have TV at all for just this reason. We get three channels but do 99.9% of our TV watching with Netflix to avoid commercials. I’ve been lucky as my kids haven’t caught the materialism bug at all. They are a lot like their dad, give him a fishing pole and a free day and he is the happiest guy on the planet. It makes me think that it may be in your genes as to how you handle materialism. We quit buying them gifts on their birthday, they honestly couldn’t think of anything they wanted — instead we take trips and they get to pick the place. Last year we spent a week on the beach in San Diego for their birthday (they are twins). That way we have great memories and they don’t have a bunch of worthless junk laying around the house.

By: make art every day

make art every day — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 11:56:58 +0000

my husband and i have a lot of generous relatives and that means our two young daughters get a lot at christmas and their birthdays (spring time). yesterday we did one of our semi-annual toy purges. we bring everything into the den and sort by piles (barbies here, stuffed animals there, games, etc.). then we go through each pile and “keep” some stuff and “giveaway” others. the giveaway pile is for a garage sale or to give to younger friends.

we frequently remind them that when they give away a toy, they are giving some other the child the chance to really love it. and we tell them they can keep the things they truly love.

we spent the entire day on this endeavor yesterday and we cleared out a lot of stuff. but it was very sobering to see just how many toys they had. it was like target had thrown up in our den.

By: Carrie at Natural Moms Talk Radio

Carrie at Natural Moms Talk Radio — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:40:42 +0000

Wow, great topic. I have four kids and have had this issue come up from time to time. I don’t buy a lot of toys and gadgets for my kids, and they don’t watch commercial TV, but they get the complainies sometimes.

My strategy is just to impart to them every single day the philosophy of gratitude. It really is training. When we eat, when we talk, when we go to sleep… I teach them how fortunate they are to have food in their bellies (what! oatmeal again!?). If it gets bad, I will take them to the internet and show them pictures of kids in poor countries with their swollen bellies… sometimes we have to spell it out for our kids.

Living in America they can’t help but be so spoiled. So a parent really has to be proactive and train this stuff.

By: Maha

Maha — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 04:13:15 +0000

One thing we’ve done with our kids is allow them to save birthday money (or Grandma’s Halloween money) in a piggy bank on their dresser. Every few months, we take a trip to the toy store where they’re allowed to spend a certain amount on a toy of their choice.

Another thing I recently instituted is my older son buying his own snacks away from the house, when we’re not on a family outing. For example, at his Karate class, they sell otter pops at 25 cents each. It’s not a lot of money, I know, but we have 150 of them at home, so why pay for it elsewhere? At every class it was a battle – he wanted one, but I argued we had the same thing at home. So I told him that he could bring a quarter to each class from his piggy bank if that’s how he wanted to spend his money. Then if he ran out (he’s got around $20), he could do little jobs around the house to earn more. The very next morning, after spending his own money, he put the shoes in the garage in a box and asked me to pay him a quarter. I did (I was very pleasantly surprised at his initiative). I’m hoping that’s a good start to getting him to understand the value of time spent to earn money vs. the value of the item he buys.

I think parents are definitely largely responsible for their kids’ materialism. I’ve seen one parent degrade a toy that comes with a meal, because her daughter wanted it and my son wouldn’t give it up (they were 2 1/2 at the time). I was so surprised by the mom’s reaction, because normally we would do a five minute rule. The daughter was sad, but gave up the fight, because clearly the toy wasn’t of value or importance. These teachings really do start young.

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 02:47:36 +0000

I think some great ideas have been shared already (travel/gratitude journal). The greatest impact in my life came from a Work and Witness Trip with my church. It was so humbling to work with those in another country who had far less than I did, but who were ten times more generous. Watching someone else show you the love of Christ through their humble circumstances changes your life. It has taught me that it certainly isn’t wrong to have things, but they cannot be more important than the people God places in my path.

By: Ryan @ Smarter Wealth

Ryan @ Smarter Wealth — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 00:37:11 +0000

I think it is important to teach our children the best way to handle money and to teach them that material thing will not make them happy in the long run.
Once they understand this then they can start becoming more frugal. But it will probably take them a few years to get there

By: Marci

Marci — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:24:28 +0000

Thanks for the recommended reading list – I may share these with my grandkids at the appropriate ages.

Fortunately (look for the positive side of everything!) the electric goes out here on a regular basis in the winter due to wind storms. Fortunately, because this gives my grandkids a chance to experience life without electricity, hot water, the stove, lights, etc. The family congregates at my house due to my wood stove and cast iron cooking on the wood stove top, and hot water heating there also. We play cards and tell stories about how it was in Grammi’s childhood, etc, and they learn that electricity is NOT a given, and that they can get by without it, should the need arise for a week or so.

And as I chose NOT to have TV, they have learned to enjoy the personal time we share playing games, cards, building blocks, sewing, baking, gardening etc. Seems to be working