@Rob: It is an interesting dilemma. I will try equally hard to get both kids (boy/girl) through college, because I want them to be free to do what they want to do. If my daughter chooses to pursue a career outside of the home, that degree will surely help. However, if she decides to stay home with the kids, I’d whole-heartedly support that, too.

At some point the kids will grow up, be involved in school, and then move out, so my wife/daughter might like to pursue a career at that time.

To turn the sexism on its head, my wife and I have discussed me working from home in the future and taking on more childcare duties while she works for health insurance. We’re weighing the costs of such a move, but it’s something we’ve considered.

Interesting delimina isn’t it.

One friend, graduated with an advanced degree in Math top of her class, natural for Googgle or Wall Street, could have made a killing in the real world. Yet, as I mentioned in spite of graduating at the top of her class she’s NEVER worked a day in her life (even thought they waited quite a few years to have children). On the other hand I have someone else I know who is a fabulous seamstress, runs her own business. And what she told me about being a working mom, even when I’m rocking the cradle I can still sew. In other words she choose a career that was compatible with motherhood.

I’ve met many women (probably because I’m an expat) who have done the university/career thing only to drop out once the kids come. Seems to me to be a waste of money to go to college university if you only plan to drop out of the workforce after a few years.

It does seem odd that Men can mix fatherhood and work but women can’t. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the way God made us.
As I said, a rather sexist comment, but an issue that isn’t discussed very often.

I am a single, work-from-home mom, and I love it. My son, who is now a 16-year-old high school senior, has benefited from me being able to work from home for most of my career. I love the flexibility and the reward of being a hands-on mom. I am able to earn a living, while still being accessible to my son when he needs me to run up to his school, help with homework or bonding time. After all, in a few short months, I will be an empty nester as he’s off to college–and will still be working from home.

For me, my son has always been priority, so it is natural for me to work from home. Interestingly, I just wrote a post on how I, as a single mom, have managed to work from home for most of my career, so that I can continue to focus on my son–my priority:

http://nosinglemamadrama.wordpress.com/2009/08/29/real-work-at-home-job-posting/

Our life style was cut and I admit that I miss the freedom at times. However, knowing that someone is watching my lil guy that cares about him as much as I do is worth it.

It has had a positive side effect, they don’t know how but they are living on much less income, they’ve really learned how to be frugal.

I’m a full time mom, and I HATE it when people say..”you’re so lucky”!

Which is not to say that I don’t feel that my situation is really fortunate. I love being home for my kid, and all my kids friends, and all of our friends, and my husband, and everyone’s pets, and all the teacher’s at the school, and etc..

My house is neat as a pin, there are home-cooked meals every day, there are always clean socks, and almost everything we buy is bought on sale, or at thrift shops.

Why? Because I have time. Time to shop the sales and stock up. Time to turn the cheapest cut of meat and a few veggies into something amazing. Time to run so-and-so’s cat to the vet because they can’t get out of work. Time to organize and throw all the birthday parties,holiday parties,pot luck dinners (we call them stone soup nights), or just to sit for an hour and talk to one of my kid’s friends about birth control, or why parent’s can be such jerks when they’re getting divorced, or losing their job..

But it isn’t luck..and it isn’t sacrifice either. It’s prioritizing. Being the nucleus of our family, and our little circle of friends is worth the “cost” in money per hour that I’m not earning.

It is the same as someone implying that you’re lucky to have a good job, or lucky to have a happy marriage,lucky to have gotten a college degree. There is certainly an element of luck in those things since we can’t control everything that happens in our lives, but mostly it’s determination and clarity. We know exactly what we want our life to be like, and my husband and I have taken determined steps to make it that way.

I am not sacrificing a new car, I am CHOOSING a happy family.