We are preparing to host Thanksgiving dinner at our house tomorrow. Over the weekend we did a quick walk-through and I noticed a lot of things in need of repair or replacement. We did recently pick up a garage sale recliner to replace a broken one, but our sofa has been missing a leg for some time and is propped up by a couple bricks, well hidden by the skirt around the sofa bottom. The cushions are pulling away from the sofa back, and the cushions are just about at the end of their useful life.

We could afford a replacement sofa, but have decided to put off another furniture purchase until we are debt free. The decision means we will have to live with the way things are for a while. It doesn’t bother me at all since it isn’t like we do a lot of entertaining inside our home. Still, I admit to being a little embarrassed when we do have visitors.

Forget About the Joneses

When you think about it, worrying about impressing others is what gets many people into a financial mess in the first place. I drive an 18 year-old van back and forth to work. It has zero sex appeal, but I don’t care. I’ve had people ask me why I drive “that old van” and I tell them because the payment is right. It isn’t to impress people at a red light, or to feed my own ego. I’m perfectly content driving my van the few miles back and forth to work, and will continue to do so until the wheels fall off.  When they do, I’ll probably find some replacement wheels and keep driving!

We aren’t the only ones who have felt a little embarrassed by our frugality. One Frugal Girl wrote about a similar experience recently, but came to the same conclusion we did:  while feeling this way was perfectly normal, we both decided we had other goals for our money besides forking over thousands of dollars to a furniture store, or a car lot.

What Impact Does this Have on Children?

Kids can be a little more cruel than adults, and they have thinner skin, too. I remember taking my daughter to school one day and the boys on safety patrol (they open doors during morning drop off) told her, “I like your Dad’s Scooby Doo van!” It was actually pretty funny to me–it is a big blue van, and minus the hippie flowers, does resemble The Mystery Machine.  I knew they were being little smart-alecks, but I wondered how it might affect my daughter. Resisting my fatherly instinct to thump each of them on the forehead, I drove off and decided to talk to my daughter later that evening.

Fortunately, she laughed it off, too, and even said to one of them, “Well, my dad is a frugal dad.” That’s my girl!

Photo courtesy of tlianza

There are times when emergency funds do not adequately cover the emergency life throws at you. In those moments I immediately start scrambling to come up with ways to raise cash in a hurry. But you cannot simply throw caution to the wind, because often times irrational moves now cause painful tax consequences later. Here are a few ways to raise cash in an emergency, without over-taxing your life later on.

1. Sell stocks outside of retirement accounts. When my first child was born there were some complications, and extended hospital stays for mom and daughter. The bills were astronomical, and fortunately my insurance plan paid the majority of the bills.  However, it was a high-deductible plan, so I still had to come up with a bit of cash out of pocket. The first thing I did was sell company stock, and one other stock I held at the time, both outside of retirement accounts.

The only downside to this plan now is that stocks have taken a beating in recent months. If you sell now you will likely realize a huge loss on paper. That’s good for a tax deduction, but bad for your portfolio. Regardless, it is probably the fastest way to liquidate an asset and convert it to cash.

2. Withdraw Roth IRA contributions. Many people are not aware that is possible to make Roth IRA withdrawals at any time, as long as you only withdraw contributions. For example, if you have contributed $500 to a Roth IRA, and the current account balance is $580, you can withdraw the first $500 without penalty. The remaining $80 represents earnings and may not be withdrawn without penalty.

It is important to keep up with the amount of money you have contributed to your plan should you ever have to go this route. One negative aspect of withdrawing this money is that it cannot be replaced. In other words, if you withdraw $500 from your account that is $500 you are not allowed to “redeposit” back into your Roth IRA.

3. Sell something, or a lot of things. If you are in a real crunch for cash, consider selling whatever you can get your hands on. Have a yard sale for low-value, high quantity items such as small toys, gently used clothing, etc. Advertise larger items such as furniture on Craigslist, and sell smaller items such as DVDs and books at eBay.

You may also consider pawning jewelry, particularly gold, because as the dollar continues to weaken gold prices should trend upward. This is not an excuse to run out and buy gold, but if you have gold pieces or gold jewelry on hand, and need emergency cash, it could be a valuable trade.

4. Access home equity. With declining home values, and tightening lending standards, this one might be a little tougher than in years past. Still, home equity provides access to cash in an emergency situation, and the good news is the interest is tax deductible, and the payment terms may be stretched out longer than unsecured loans. However, remember you are taking on more debt and further leveraging your home. I only recommend doing this in a real emergency–remodeling the kitchen or buying a boat does not qualify.

5. Take out a 401(k) loan. Borrowing from your 401(k) has become a popular option for raising cash, but I’m still a bit skeptical. For one thing, if you leave your job (voluntarily or otherwise) the loan is due immediately. Another complicating factor is that if you fail to repay the loan, or miss a payment, the money is considered as a withdrawal for tax purposes and you are subject to penalties.

6. Ask for help from friends and family. Notice I didn’t say “borrow” from friends and family. Borrowing money from family members changes relationships, and I generally advise against it.  I personally do not lend money to family members, but if I have the money on hand, and they have a bona fide emergency, I would rather simply give them the money, no strings attached.

Again, it is important to maintain a healthy emergency fund so you don’t have to resort to one of the above options. However, there are times when the emergency is larger your ability to cover, or you have a string of emergencies that deplete your funds faster than you can replenish them. In those cases, raising emergency cash may be your only option.

In a real crunch, you could turn to social lending with companies such as Lending Club where you can apply for up to $25,000 and have your loan funded by other investors.  Rates vary based on your creditworthiness, but social lending is a welcomed alternative to a tightening lending industry.

My wife and I agree on very little when it comes to shopping. I use a list, she likes to wing it. I get in and get out, she likes to peruse each aisle. The one thing we can agree on is that we cannot shop together. I imagine we are not alone.

So in the interest of shopping harmony, I offer up the following tips for women who haven’t given up on the idea of their husband or boyfriend joining them on this year’s Christmas shopping expedition.

1.  Do not take him to a store that you know he does not like. There are only a few places I absolutely refuse to go. One is Bath and Body Works. You can smell the place from the mall parking lot! And once inside I can almost guarantee the onset of a blinding headache or an asthma attack from the aromatic collection of fruity lotions.

2.  Give us a list of items and turn us loose.  Men, by nature, are hunter/gatherers. Give me a list of items you want me to bring back and challenge me by saying something like, “Oh nevermind, you’ll never find it” and then turn me loose! Be forewarned, I may bring back the wrong brand, size or color, so if you want specifics, say so!

3.  Avoid crowded stores. I know this rule is hard to follow during the Christmas season as throngs of mega consumers are out and about shopping for loved ones. However, most guys are claustrophobic. And the idea of being packed like sardines in a crowded Victoria Secret store while you search a table of unmentionables ranks pretty high on our list of uncomfortable situations. If you must enter such a place, find one with a comfy bench outside and tell us to park it.

4.  Plan your trip to the mall around male-friendly stores.  Always keep your eyes peeled for diversions. If you need to stop by the Hallmark store you better look for a male-friendly place to send us while you sneak in a few card purchases to get this year’s $14 dancing, singing snowman. I highly recommend GNC Nutrition, Radio Shack, or any store with those playable video game demos on display. Warning: Move quickly, if you take longer than the time to play one quarter of Madden Football ‘09 on the XBox 360 I might venture into Hallmark and scuttle your entire plan.

5.  Communication is key. Bring along some two-way radios to keep in touch. Cell phones are not as fun, but they will do in a pinch. Bonus points for sexiness if you say things like, “Over,” “What’s your 20,” or can squawk “I love you” in Morse Code.

6.  Do not take guys shopping on an empty stomach. Luring us to the store in exchange for the promise of food is a smart plan. If you can swing it, a pre-game meal involving steak will provide energy to get us through. And a post-game dessert over coffee is a nice reward for good behavior.

7.  Do not ask for input on non-practical gifts. Seriously, we do not really care which figurine you send to Aunt Gertrude this year. To the male shopper figurines equal dust collectors. However, if you are trying to decide between an iPod or a Zune we will gladly share our opinions.

8.  At least once during the trip, buy something because it is cheaper, or higher quality. Your frugality will impress us.  Turn-ons include calculating the unit price, using a coupon, asking the salesperson for a discount, and comparing manufacturer warranties.

Shopping together this holiday season doesn’t have to be a miserable experience. But the responsibility for success or failure of a joint holiday shopping expedition lies mostly in the hands of women. Of course, this probably doesn’t surprise them. In my family, the entire Christmas season would be pretty bleak if it weren’t for the help of Mrs. Clause.

First allow me to thank all of you for the entries to The Home Depot $100 Gift Card Giveaway!  This was a particularly fun contest because I asked you to share your favorite holiday memory in the comments section as an entry to the contest. I enjoyed reading through all 305 stories, and received another 63 via email.

I plugged the numbers in random.org and asked for a random integer selection. The site selected entry #4 (I guess it paid to be the early bird in this case!).

Congratulations to Andrea, who left the fourth comment on the gift card giveaway post! I’ve contacted Andrea via email and the gift card will soon be on the way!

Again, thank you for sharing all your wonderful holiday stories, and for sharing info about the contest with your friends and family. I plan to host another contest or two before the holidays, so if you didn’t win this one, don’t despair.

No, that’s not a typo. If a “problogger” blogs full-time for a living, then I must only be a “preblogger,” because I cannot afford to quit my full-time job, but cannot afford to quit blogging, either. The majority of bloggers out there are prebloggers, working at a job or as a work-at-home parent while making at least a part-time living as a blogger. Only a select few are successful enough to graduate to problogging status.

What Does a Blogger Do, Exactly?

To those who have never given blogging a try it might seem like a simple activity. I felt that way before I started. I mean, how hard is it to sit down and write out your thoughts on a particular subject for a few minutes each day? Well, any blogger will tell you that there is more work to blogging than meets the eye.

For starters, coming up with a steady stream of topics to share with your audience is a challenge. There are weeks when ideas seem to fall into your lap (conversations with friends spark an idea, another blogger’s post provides inspiration, etc.).  And there are weeks when you suffer from sever writer’s block and feel like having to come up with yet another article on how to save money might actually cause physical pain.

Having an idea for a blog post is only half the battle. You have to actually write the post, and hope to do it in a semi-engaging fashion to entertain and inform your readers. If you are not writing with the idea of attracting readers, things get pretty lonely. After all, pouring your soul into a little visited blog is like giving the performance of your lifetime from the stage of an empty theater.

I usually spend thirty minutes to an hour writing, rewriting, adding links to and finding pictures for each post. Some are shorter, and some take much longer, but 30-40 minutes is probably a good average. When the post is complete I schedule it to be posted the next morning (or later that same morning, on some occasions) and that’s it, right? No, there’s more.  Much more.

Interacting With Readers

You may have noticed at some point that I share my email address with readers in the contact section. I enjoy nothing more than hearing from readers either through comments or emails. I try to respond to each one, but often it takes me a couple days to work through the growing monster that is my inbox! And readers aren’t the only people that send me emails. Advertisers, public relations reps, authors, bloggers, journalists, etc. all send messages. I don’t mean to imply each of these types email every single day, but that’s a pretty accurate sampling of the types of messages I get. When I first started blogging my daily emails totals were in the single digits, but now it is not uncommon to receive over 100 emails a day.

Marketing My Blogs

Up to this point, I have not spent any money advertising Frugal Dad, save a trial month of using Google Adwords. In the early stages my single advertising method was commenting on other blogs. I made a daily habit of commenting on 40-50 blogs. Unfortunately, that number has dwindled over time, and now I do good to leave comments on 10-20 of my favorites. I read many more blogs than that, but only have time to comment on a precious few. If you are new to blogging and want to attract readers, commenting on other blogs in your niche is a great way to get your name out there. Don’t just spam blogs with comments, but leave thoughtful remarks that add to the discussion.

My Typical Day

I thought it might be fun to give you a peek at my typical day. The problem is, I have no typical days. Over the last year I have tried to get into a routine of blogging early in the morning, or late in the evening, or when I first get home from work, but I find it hard to stick to any particular schedule. After all, I have a wife, two kids, a full-time job, two blogs, freelance projects, and an attention-starved Labrador (my third child) all competing for my attention. So, I have learned to adapt by squeezing in time to write when I can.

Since I am not as organized as other bloggers who manage to carve out regular time during their day for blog activities, I can only give you a sample schedule from this past Tuesday and Wednesday:

Tuesday

• 6:00am:  Wake up, read through blog emails, review stats, make sure today’s post is up and running. Approve comments held for moderation.

• 8:00am:  Arrive at my full time job.

• 12:00pm:  Sneak a quick check of the blog stats, emails, moderate comments over lunch.

• 2:00pm:  Travel to Atlanta to visit my mom (she’s been hospitalized the last 70 days recovering from a stroke)

• 11:00pm:  Back home from Atlanta. Write tomorrow’s post, answer emails, moderate comments. Post five or six comments on other blogs. Check my snail mail, bills, bank account balance, etc.

• 1:00am:  Lights out.

Wednesday

• 6:00am:  Wake up, read through blog emails, review stats, make sure today’s post is up and running. Approve comments held for moderation.

• 8:00am:  Arrive at my full time job.

• 12:00pm:  Sneak a quick check of the blog, emails, moderate comments.

• 5:00pm:  Skipped the gym and head for home.

• 6:00pm:  Talked to a magazine editor about submitting an article.

• 7:00pm:  Wrote first half of post after dinner, answered ten emails.

• 8:00pm:  Bedtime routine with the kids.

• 9:00pm:  Wrote second half of tomorrow’s post, checked on stats, sorted through emails (nearly 150 thanks to blog contest), made a small template change to Frugal Dad in an effort to improve blog monetization, read snail mail, checked stats at my blog host, thumbed through new Kiplingers magazine for inspiration, outlined three blog post ideas.

• 12:30am:  Lights out.

The Tipping Point

As you can see, there isn’t much free time in that schedule. Somewhere in there I also interact with readers and friends on Twitter, and Stumble a few articles each day for use in roundup posts.  I also participate in a number of forums on a variety of topics from frugal living to blogging.  In addition to the crazy weekday schedule I spend about half a day on Saturday or Sunday playing catch up on all the things that have slipped during the week. I try to have a sort of blogging marathon to crank out three or four posts to pull from during the week if I get in a jam (I have to work late, kids get sick, I get sick, etc.).

The inevitable question becomes, “At what point can I become a problogger?” Well, that’s a good question, and one I don’t have an answer to just yet. While I could easily fill a day with blogging responsibilities and freelance opportunities, I cannot yet replace my full-time income plus make up for the loss of benefits. The problem is that the list of responsibilities is growing, and my full-time job is not getting any easier, so something will have to give.

My second blog, TipDad.com, has not seen as much activity as I would like. It has been a while since I posted anything at Wise Bread or Parenting Squad (though I did recently sneak in a book review at Parenting Squad). Emails are languishing longer in my inbox, and more and more comments are stacking up without my acknowledgment.

At some point I will either have to take a leap of faith, scale back on my full-time work, or put my other writing initiatives on hold. Who knows what the future holds, but for now I’m enjoying my status as a preblogger.

If you are interested in blogging, or are currently a blogger and would like to read more about my trials and tribulations, check out my “Be a Blogger” series roundup.