My wife and I agree on very little when it comes to shopping. I use a list, she likes to wing it. I get in and get out, she likes to peruse each aisle. The one thing we can agree on is that we cannot shop together. I imagine we are not alone.

So in the interest of shopping harmony, I offer up the following tips for women who haven’t given up on the idea of their husband or boyfriend joining them on this year’s Christmas shopping expedition.

1.  Do not take him to a store that you know he does not like. There are only a few places I absolutely refuse to go. One is Bath and Body Works. You can smell the place from the mall parking lot! And once inside I can almost guarantee the onset of a blinding headache or an asthma attack from the aromatic collection of fruity lotions.

2.  Give us a list of items and turn us loose.  Men, by nature, are hunter/gatherers. Give me a list of items you want me to bring back and challenge me by saying something like, “Oh nevermind, you’ll never find it” and then turn me loose! Be forewarned, I may bring back the wrong brand, size or color, so if you want specifics, say so!

3.  Avoid crowded stores. I know this rule is hard to follow during the Christmas season as throngs of mega consumers are out and about shopping for loved ones. However, most guys are claustrophobic. And the idea of being packed like sardines in a crowded Victoria Secret store while you search a table of unmentionables ranks pretty high on our list of uncomfortable situations. If you must enter such a place, find one with a comfy bench outside and tell us to park it.

4.  Plan your trip to the mall around male-friendly stores.  Always keep your eyes peeled for diversions. If you need to stop by the Hallmark store you better look for a male-friendly place to send us while you sneak in a few card purchases to get this year’s $14 dancing, singing snowman. I highly recommend GNC Nutrition, Radio Shack, or any store with those playable video game demos on display. Warning: Move quickly, if you take longer than the time to play one quarter of Madden Football ‘09 on the XBox 360 I might venture into Hallmark and scuttle your entire plan.

5.  Communication is key. Bring along some two-way radios to keep in touch. Cell phones are not as fun, but they will do in a pinch. Bonus points for sexiness if you say things like, “Over,” “What’s your 20,” or can squawk “I love you” in Morse Code.

6.  Do not take guys shopping on an empty stomach. Luring us to the store in exchange for the promise of food is a smart plan. If you can swing it, a pre-game meal involving steak will provide energy to get us through. And a post-game dessert over coffee is a nice reward for good behavior.

7.  Do not ask for input on non-practical gifts. Seriously, we do not really care which figurine you send to Aunt Gertrude this year. To the male shopper figurines equal dust collectors. However, if you are trying to decide between an iPod or a Zune we will gladly share our opinions.

8.  At least once during the trip, buy something because it is cheaper, or higher quality. Your frugality will impress us.  Turn-ons include calculating the unit price, using a coupon, asking the salesperson for a discount, and comparing manufacturer warranties.

Shopping together this holiday season doesn’t have to be a miserable experience. But the responsibility for success or failure of a joint holiday shopping expedition lies mostly in the hands of women. Of course, this probably doesn’t surprise them. In my family, the entire Christmas season would be pretty bleak if it weren’t for the help of Mrs. Clause.

First allow me to thank all of you for the entries to The Home Depot $100 Gift Card Giveaway!  This was a particularly fun contest because I asked you to share your favorite holiday memory in the comments section as an entry to the contest. I enjoyed reading through all 305 stories, and received another 63 via email.

I plugged the numbers in random.org and asked for a random integer selection. The site selected entry #4 (I guess it paid to be the early bird in this case!).

Congratulations to Andrea, who left the fourth comment on the gift card giveaway post! I’ve contacted Andrea via email and the gift card will soon be on the way!

Again, thank you for sharing all your wonderful holiday stories, and for sharing info about the contest with your friends and family. I plan to host another contest or two before the holidays, so if you didn’t win this one, don’t despair.

No, that’s not a typo. If a “problogger” blogs full-time for a living, then I must only be a “preblogger,” because I cannot afford to quit my full-time job, but cannot afford to quit blogging, either. The majority of bloggers out there are prebloggers, working at a job or as a work-at-home parent while making at least a part-time living as a blogger. Only a select few are successful enough to graduate to problogging status.

What Does a Blogger Do, Exactly?

To those who have never given blogging a try it might seem like a simple activity. I felt that way before I started. I mean, how hard is it to sit down and write out your thoughts on a particular subject for a few minutes each day? Well, any blogger will tell you that there is more work to blogging than meets the eye.

For starters, coming up with a steady stream of topics to share with your audience is a challenge. There are weeks when ideas seem to fall into your lap (conversations with friends spark an idea, another blogger’s post provides inspiration, etc.).  And there are weeks when you suffer from sever writer’s block and feel like having to come up with yet another article on how to save money might actually cause physical pain.

Having an idea for a blog post is only half the battle. You have to actually write the post, and hope to do it in a semi-engaging fashion to entertain and inform your readers. If you are not writing with the idea of attracting readers, things get pretty lonely. After all, pouring your soul into a little visited blog is like giving the performance of your lifetime from the stage of an empty theater.

I usually spend thirty minutes to an hour writing, rewriting, adding links to and finding pictures for each post. Some are shorter, and some take much longer, but 30-40 minutes is probably a good average. When the post is complete I schedule it to be posted the next morning (or later that same morning, on some occasions) and that’s it, right? No, there’s more.  Much more.

Interacting With Readers

You may have noticed at some point that I share my email address with readers in the contact section. I enjoy nothing more than hearing from readers either through comments or emails. I try to respond to each one, but often it takes me a couple days to work through the growing monster that is my inbox! And readers aren’t the only people that send me emails. Advertisers, public relations reps, authors, bloggers, journalists, etc. all send messages. I don’t mean to imply each of these types email every single day, but that’s a pretty accurate sampling of the types of messages I get. When I first started blogging my daily emails totals were in the single digits, but now it is not uncommon to receive over 100 emails a day.

Marketing My Blogs

Up to this point, I have not spent any money advertising Frugal Dad, save a trial month of using Google Adwords. In the early stages my single advertising method was commenting on other blogs. I made a daily habit of commenting on 40-50 blogs. Unfortunately, that number has dwindled over time, and now I do good to leave comments on 10-20 of my favorites. I read many more blogs than that, but only have time to comment on a precious few. If you are new to blogging and want to attract readers, commenting on other blogs in your niche is a great way to get your name out there. Don’t just spam blogs with comments, but leave thoughtful remarks that add to the discussion.

My Typical Day

I thought it might be fun to give you a peek at my typical day. The problem is, I have no typical days. Over the last year I have tried to get into a routine of blogging early in the morning, or late in the evening, or when I first get home from work, but I find it hard to stick to any particular schedule. After all, I have a wife, two kids, a full-time job, two blogs, freelance projects, and an attention-starved Labrador (my third child) all competing for my attention. So, I have learned to adapt by squeezing in time to write when I can.

Since I am not as organized as other bloggers who manage to carve out regular time during their day for blog activities, I can only give you a sample schedule from this past Tuesday and Wednesday:

Tuesday

• 6:00am:  Wake up, read through blog emails, review stats, make sure today’s post is up and running. Approve comments held for moderation.

• 8:00am:  Arrive at my full time job.

• 12:00pm:  Sneak a quick check of the blog stats, emails, moderate comments over lunch.

• 2:00pm:  Travel to Atlanta to visit my mom (she’s been hospitalized the last 70 days recovering from a stroke)

• 11:00pm:  Back home from Atlanta. Write tomorrow’s post, answer emails, moderate comments. Post five or six comments on other blogs. Check my snail mail, bills, bank account balance, etc.

• 1:00am:  Lights out.

Wednesday

• 6:00am:  Wake up, read through blog emails, review stats, make sure today’s post is up and running. Approve comments held for moderation.

• 8:00am:  Arrive at my full time job.

• 12:00pm:  Sneak a quick check of the blog, emails, moderate comments.

• 5:00pm:  Skipped the gym and head for home.

• 6:00pm:  Talked to a magazine editor about submitting an article.

• 7:00pm:  Wrote first half of post after dinner, answered ten emails.

• 8:00pm:  Bedtime routine with the kids.

• 9:00pm:  Wrote second half of tomorrow’s post, checked on stats, sorted through emails (nearly 150 thanks to blog contest), made a small template change to Frugal Dad in an effort to improve blog monetization, read snail mail, checked stats at my blog host, thumbed through new Kiplingers magazine for inspiration, outlined three blog post ideas.

• 12:30am:  Lights out.

The Tipping Point

As you can see, there isn’t much free time in that schedule. Somewhere in there I also interact with readers and friends on Twitter, and Stumble a few articles each day for use in roundup posts.  I also participate in a number of forums on a variety of topics from frugal living to blogging.  In addition to the crazy weekday schedule I spend about half a day on Saturday or Sunday playing catch up on all the things that have slipped during the week. I try to have a sort of blogging marathon to crank out three or four posts to pull from during the week if I get in a jam (I have to work late, kids get sick, I get sick, etc.).

The inevitable question becomes, “At what point can I become a problogger?” Well, that’s a good question, and one I don’t have an answer to just yet. While I could easily fill a day with blogging responsibilities and freelance opportunities, I cannot yet replace my full-time income plus make up for the loss of benefits. The problem is that the list of responsibilities is growing, and my full-time job is not getting any easier, so something will have to give.

My second blog, TipDad.com, has not seen as much activity as I would like. It has been a while since I posted anything at Wise Bread or Parenting Squad (though I did recently sneak in a book review at Parenting Squad). Emails are languishing longer in my inbox, and more and more comments are stacking up without my acknowledgment.

At some point I will either have to take a leap of faith, scale back on my full-time work, or put my other writing initiatives on hold. Who knows what the future holds, but for now I’m enjoying my status as a preblogger.

If you are interested in blogging, or are currently a blogger and would like to read more about my trials and tribulations, check out my “Be a Blogger” series roundup.

Last week I had the opportunity to be in downtown Atlanta during mid-day rush. I stopped along a bustling business district to grab a cup of coffee and kill some time. Watching the business crowd hustling along the streets from my warm coffee shop window seat I noticed nearly every passerby had one thing in common. I was reminded of the scene in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness where Will Smith’s character is watching stock brokers move about the streets of San Francisco and he says with a touch of envy, “They all looked so damn happy.”  Except in this case, they all looked “so damn miserable.”

Many were feverishly working a Blackberry, pausing only long enough to look up and avoid running into one another. Most of them were dressed sharp, and getting into and out of nice cars–much nicer cars than I am used to seeing in a smaller town. Several people stopped in to grab a cup of coffee, but one man caught my attention. He ordered the coffee after pausing his Bluetooth headset mid-conversation, putting down his laptop bag on an adjacent table, and returning his Blackberry to its holster. Our eyes met and he shook his head, took a deep breath and let out an audible sigh.  I smiled back and asked, “Tough day?”  He replied, “Every day.”  He paid for his coffee, collected his gear and was off and running again.  As I watched him trotting off into the distance I reflected on how it must feel to be in such a hurry all the time. And at what cost.

Before I had kids I used to think that would be me hustling around some large downtown business district. I wanted to do the daily commute, have an office on the 17th floor, and be part of “the grind.” What a difference ten years makes! None of that appeals to me now. I enjoy the slower pace. I look forward to getting home in the afternoon and spending time with my wife and kids. They fulfill me much more than any job could, regardless of the salary.

Attention College Students:  Choose Wisely

When I have the occasion to be around college students I always like to find out what they are majoring in, and why. The responses are pretty typical. The one thing I have discovered in my own surveying of future professionals is that the students interested in lower-paying career fields seem to be the most confident in their choice of major. I can’t remember ever hearing someone say they always wanted to be a teacher because of the money, or that they were interested in the clergy because of the great pension plan. No, people generally select lower-paying career fields because of a genuine passion for the field. They ignore promises of a higher salary to follow their hearts.

When I started school I entered pre-medicine because I did have a genuine interest in helping people, and because doctors made a lot of money. However, I decided after two and a half years that six more years of school (at least) was not for me, financially or otherwise. I left the College of Science and Math and headed over to the Liberal Arts college determined to change my major to education. I wanted to be a high school football coach.  But, it wasn’t long and I left that major as well after deciding there was no money in teaching and coaching at the high school level.  In both cases I allowed money to heavily influence my decision, instead of simply following my heart.

Parents, Guide Your Kids Towards Their Heart’s Desire, Not Towards Higher Salaries

I credit my mom for helping me finally settle down on a business degree with a specialization in information systems. She recognized that I was drifting a bit, and suggested that I look at something like business or computers, because those skills would always be in demand, and offered a wide range of industries to work in. For instance, I could work in the business or technical side of the medical field, and I could coach youth sports in my spare time (something I did for five seasons for my daughter’s soccer team). In other words, I could find fulfillment outside of my full-time employment.

There are a lucky few that enjoy absolute happiness from their jobs, and make good money doing it. Unfortunately, that is not the norm. Most of us get through our 8:00-5:00 jobs to pay the bills and put food on the tables, and that is fine, as long as we find something that fulfills us outside of work. I have several side hustles that keep me going, and above all I enjoy spending remaining free time with my family. I hope to also add more volunteer activities in the near future, but most of those will be a family affair as well.

If you are reading this and relate to the guy in that coffee shop exhaling deeply under the weight of work life, I would encourage you to evaluate why you are doing what you are doing. Is it for the money? Is it to feed your ego? To pay for stuff? If you downsized your lifestyle a bit, could you afford to downsize your work life, too?  Could you spend more time with your family? Catch a few more soccer games? I hate to borrow a line from Mastercard, but those moments really are “priceless.”

It is nearing that time of year when we sit down to plan out next year’s resolutions. Two of the most popular New Year’s Resolutions are to lose weight and to save money. Why wait? You can start a savings plan today in just a few easy steps.

• Identify your savings goals. Have you ever heard that expression, “If you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time?” I know it is a bit cliche, but when it comes to savings plans, it’s true. Those who find the most success saving money do so because they are committed to a plan–they have a goal in mind. It could be a down payment on a home, an emergency fund, a new (used) car, a sunny day fund, or even as far out as retirement. Most plans are a combination of both short and long-term plans.

• Consider an online savings account. I have never been a saver. I like to save money, and I whole-heartedly agree with the importance of saving money, but every time I begin to amass some savings something happens that wipes me out. That was until I discovered ING Direct. I opened an Orange Savings account with them and began moving just $25 a paycheck (every two weeks) into an account. I’ve since opened four more “sub-accounts” there with specific savings goals and put a little in each account out of my paychecks. The money is still accessible, but it is far enough away that it is “out of sight, out of mind.” Check out my reviews of the other best online banks.

• Sign up for direct deposit. I mentioned that I automated the transfer of money from my checking account to my online savings account. To take that a step further; visit your payroll office and ask if you can split your deposit into two separate accounts. Most employers allow you to identify a percentage of your check to go into a primary checking account, and the remaining percentage to go into a second checking or savings account.

• Start small, and slowly increase the amount you save. Whether you decide to use direct deposit, automated transfers, or manually write out a check each month, start with a small amount to get used to the idea. Elect to have 1% of your pay diverted to savings, or move $25 a paycheck to your online savings account. Trust me, you are not likely to miss these small amounts, and if you are like me, you probably used to spend this on eating out each paycheck cycle. Now I just brown bag lunch and pocket the savings.

Advanced Savings Strategies

Once you are comfortable with your established system of saving money you can graduate to more advanced concepts.

• Pocket your store savings. It goes without saying that to be in position to save money, you must first reduce your expenditures. One way to flip the switch is to pass on something you would normally buy in the store and pocket those savings immediately. For instance, the other day I was looking at video games and saw a new one that looked like fun. It was $49.99. The old me would have tossed the game in the shopping cart and moved on without much thought. The new me put the game back on the shelf, made a mental note of how much it cost, and went home and scheduled a $50 transfer from my checking account to my savings account.

• Keep windfalls as far away from your checking account as possible. If you are lucky enough to receive small windfalls, such as birthday money, tax refunds, money from the sale of items on eBay, etc, be sure to put that money directly in your savings account. If it finds its way into your checking account it will likely be frittered away.

• Save one dollar bills. Most dedicated savers have a coin jar at home where they dump change. Consider adding a dollar-bill box where you save all one dollar bills (with the exception of keeping a few around for tipping purposes). I heard of this idea on a radio show several years ago. The show’s host saved all one dollar bills he came across for years and presented them to his daughter on her 16th birthday. Up until that point she and the host’s wife had made fun of him unmercifully for his weird savings habit. After opening the box with sixteen hundred one dollar bills they no longer made fun of him.

Hopefully, I have given you some ideas for jump starting your savings plan, but you are the one that has to do the heavy lifting. Saving money is a function of spending less than you earn, and storing the difference. It does not matter how much, or how little, you earn. If you find yourself unable to save money because of low earnings, consider finding a side hustle, or selling some items to supplement your savings plan. The bottom line is to simply get started saving something, today!

I was in Atlanta much of the day yesterday, and on the road the rest of the time, but I did get a chance to peruse a few of my favorite sites.  The last time I was in Atlanta the temperature was in the high 90’s.  Yesterday it was in the 40’s and windy! 

The Fab Five

The Low-Gift Christmas. I love the idea of a low-gift Christmas, and the idea of a no-gift Christmas would be even better!  This year we are keeping expenses down and buying for our kids–that’s it.

NCUA Insurance Is As Good As FDIC Insurance. Lots in the news lately about FDIC insurance, but haven’t heard much about credit unions.  I currently bank with a regional bank, but also maintain a credit union relationship where I have financed a vehicle (won’t do that again), and have a small savings account.  Good to know that money is similarly insured, though I doubt I will ever test the maximum limits of NCUA insurance!

What Desperation Looks Like. Here’s a guy who is not afraid of being laid off, because he has already figured out that living paycheck-to-paycheck is not a path to prosperity.

Why Simplicity Is More Important Than Ever. I agree that we could all benefit from more simpler lives–I know I could! The “paths to simplicity” in this article can certainly help towards that end.

Wealth Tip:  Learn the Art of Delayed Gratification. Delaying gratification is the cornerstone of a solid plan to build wealth. And us frugal folks have learned it also is a great way to avoid debt!  Simply delaying a purchase to avoid financing can add up to big savings in interest charges over time.

One of my shortcomings here at Frugal Dad is that I do not provide much investing advice, and when I do, it is fairly generic and focuses more on providing broad strategies rather than specific recommendations. I intentionally avoid the subject of in-depth investment advice for two reasons.  One, I confess to not being that smart on all the various investment types, and there are others out there with stronger backgrounds on the subject.  And two, I like to keep things simple.

Target Retirement Funds

Following that theme of keeping things simple, I have been able to assemble a very modest portfolio of well-diversified mutual funds in my 401(k) account and a Roth IRA. For the Roth IRA, I decided to give target retirement funds a try. Target retirement funds are basically a collection of mutual funds offered by brokerages to provide the right allocation mix based on your anticipated retirement date.  If I was working with short time horizon of say five years, I would select something like a 2015 targeted retirement fund which would be comprised of mostly conservative investments.

Since I have a few years (decades) to go to reach retirement, I selected a 2040 target retirement mutual fund. Who knows, I might not be ready to retire in 32 years, but when I am five to ten years out I want to slowly move towards a more conservative allocation to avoid losing all I’ve worked to save the 25 years prior.  Ideally, I would like for this to happen automatically, without requiring me to log in and make transactions to move funds to conservative investments, rebalance my portfolio, and manually change allocation percentages for new investments.  Target funds are designed to handle all of those chores for you. However, they are not a totally “hands free” investment strategy.

Do your homework before investing in target retirement funds.  Some have fee ratios higher than that of individual funds. Targeted retirement funds have one other potential drawback: they may become more conservative than your risk tolerance is at the predetermined life stage you are in.  For instance, if I am nearing 60 years-old, but love my job, am in good overall health, and would like to work another ten years, I might like to extend a more aggressive mix of equities to maximize growth potential.  That is not possible with money locked away in a targeted retirement fund.

It is possible to invest in a well-diversified mix of low-cost mutual funds on your own, and manage them accordingly as you near retirement. However, it might make sense to make a targeted retirement fund part of that portfolio to further your diversification even more, and give you one less thing to micro-manage related to finances.