Monthly Archives: January 2009

Do You Suffer from Destination Addiction?

Posted on by  at  6:52 am
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Over the holidays my wife and I watched an episode of Oprah with guest Dr. Robert Holden.  Dr. Holden is the director of The Happiness Project, a project that includes some of the world’s leading experts in the world of psychology, life coaching, business and spirituality.  Frankly, I was expecting another concept like The Secret, but I found some of the things Dr. Holden spoke about fascinating, particularly on the subject of pursuing happiness.

What Is “Destination Addiction?”

During the interview segment of the show, Dr. Holden introduced an affliction he referred to as “destination addiction.”  Millions suffer from it, and the symptoms include using words like more, next, and there.  As in, “If I only had more I’d be happy,” or “I can’t wait to buy my next car.”  The problem is that when we arrive “there,” wherever or whatever that is, we find that it is never enough to satisfy us.  Off we go striving for something bigger and better.

It is this never-ending pursuit of happiness that drives us to spend more and more money on things.  But things do not bring joy.  Things bring worry.  Things bring temporary happiness that masks some deeper pain.  For instance, those who consider themselves “emotional spenders” don’t really have a spending problem.  They are using shopping as a way of putting on an emotional band-aid to make some other kind of pain go away, much in the same way someone who overeats does so to combat depression, or loneliness.  It usually isn’t about the enjoyment of overindulging in foods, or purses.

Destination Dealers

How has this addiction spread so quickly?  Mostly with the assistance of “destination dealers.”  You’ve seen these folks on television pitching a product that will “totally change your life” or “make you happier than you ever dreamed possible.”  Cars are often depicted as the path to a happier life in commercials, as if the built-in navigation system, iPod docking station, and push-button ignition will really make you happier than the $600 monthly payments.  But, we get hooked at an early age and chase these various “destinations” our entire lives.  A bigger home, a newer car, fancier clothing, more exquisite jewelry–nothing is ever simply enough.

Home Remedies

Fortunately, there is an excellent home remedy for destination addiction, but it is often hard to find.  Contentment.  When we declare ourselves content with what we have and who we are we can beat the addiction of waiting to be happy.  We can live quite happily in the now.  Through contentment we can be happy with this house, and this car, and these clothes, and beat the cravings for more.

Back to Dr. Holden’s theory on happiness, which I found both thought-provoking and inspiring.  The pursuit of happiness, while declared as important as life and liberty by our country’s founders, is a bit of fallacy.  For happiness comes from within; it is not something that can be pursued.  As Dr. Holden put it on the show (I’m paraphrasing), “If we think of happiness as something external, that we have to pursue, we will chase it forever.  Instead, we must first be happy and then go out into the world.”

Roundup: Catching Up My Feed Reader Edition

Posted on by  at  6:00 am
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It’s been a while since I hit the feed reader–I mean a long, long while!  I’ve been busy working through the holidays both at my full time job and here at Frugal Dad, but on the occasional breaks in action I have made it a point to surf through the feed reader to read up on some of my favorite blogs.  Here are a few articles that caught my eye.

  • Jeff shares 20 ways to trim your budget featuring several tried and true ways to cut back a little on spending. @My Super-Charged Life
  • I agree with most of these ten predictions for 2009.  The only one I question is “2009 will be the best year for individual savings this decade.”  I can’t help but feel that as soon as things begin to turn around people will begin to spend wildly again.  Have we really learned our lesson?  I hope the results prove Trent right. @The Simple Dollar
  • My Dollar Plan shares a story about donating bodily fluids for cash.  Now that’s a side hustle I’d like to avoid if possible! @My Dollar Plan
  • Can you think of 20 things that rock about being debt free?  NCN can!  We are not quite there yet, but I can just imagine we’ll share many of these same sentiments.  My personal favorite was the first one listed, “I now live in the present, and not in the past.”  @No Credit Needed
  • Did you hear that Simple Mom has started a new book club forums?  I was already on board when she shared the news, but when I heard the first selection was Your Money or Your Life I was hooked! @Simple Mom
  • A beautiful post from Sara provides some thoughts on how to stay in the moment.  As a guy who frequently has his head in the clouds dreaming up my next blog post, or thinking about something weeks down the road, this really hit home. @On Simplicity
  • Ron gives some advice on tax breaks when refinancing your home.  We are not in the refinance market, rather the new purchase market, but a few of the breaks are still relevant. @The Wisdom Journal.
  • Marc and Angel remind us to be who we were born to be.  Are you living your dreams, or dreams someone else had for you?  @Marc and Angel Hack Life

What Could I Sell For Debt Freedom?

Posted on by  at  8:26 am
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Here’s an interesting question for you.  Would you sell all of your material possessions to become debt free (excluding things like family heirlooms, pictures, etc. that could not one day be replaced)?  If someone knocked on your door today and said, “I’ll write a check for you to be debt free in exchange for every piece of furniture, all of your clothing, electronics, etc,” could you do it? And then ask yourself, what could I sell of enough value to pay off debts?

I know it is a crazy idea, but it is something my wife and I were discussing the other day as we begin the long and painful journey of cleaning out some of our clutter, putting away Christmas decorations and beginning to think long term about how to downsize to a smaller home.  I told my wife at some point that I wish we could simply “start over; with a clean slate,” and that I would be willing to give away just about everything we’ve ever bought to get there.  She agreed, to a point.

For those of you like us still clawing your way towards debt freedom, imagine how it would feel to be debt free before your went to sleep tonight?  Feel lighter?  Sure, you would be sleeping on the floor, or on an old mattress, but you wouldn’t owe anyone a dime. Tomorrow you could venture out and buy a small bed with cash, and maybe a card table and a few pots and pans to cook.  With your next paycheck you could pick up a used sofa, and maybe a small television.  You would literally be starting again from scratch.

Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to go back and get a “do-over” when it comes to wiping away debt (excluding options such as bankruptcy).  The goodies we bought years ago on credit are no where near the amount we paid for them thanks to depreciation, so even if we sold everything we ever bought on credit cards we likely could not get back to zero.

However, many of you do have large assets that you could sell and be debt free.  To you I ask, have you ever considered selling that boat, or that paid-for car, or that vacation home, and walking away debt free?  What’s stopping you?  Many would point to low-interest loans used to acquire things, and point out that they get enjoyment from such items and would miss them.  I get that.  But for me the idea of becoming debt free overrides any attachment to things.

So, to answer my own question, yes, I could sell everything to become debt free. I would start over paying cash for everything I purchased, the way it ought to be done.  We would search yard sales and Craigslist for used appliances, furniture, etc. and simply “make do” until we could slowly upgrade our stuff.  Before the days of credit cards, this is how people accumulated things.  But somewhere along the way we all got sold on the idea that we can have everything we want now.  And so we’ve traded debt freedom for stuff.

Interested to hear your feedback on this question:  Would you sell all material possessions for debt freedom?

Dillyeo.com Deals Of The Day

Posted on by  at  7:08 am
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As most of you know, I don’t do a lot of shopping. But when I do, I like to get a bargain, and I usually find them online. I have a tendency to look for coupon codes from places like Amazon, newegg.com and office depot. I recently discovered a fun site that offers one item a day at a rock bottom price. Dillyeo.com appeals to me for a couple reasons.

Deals at dillyeo.com are typically some of the lowest prices anywhere on the internet.  I like that there is only one item per day, so I can’t visit the site and go nuts ordering fifteen things in one sitting.  If I like the deal of the day, I can order it.  If I am not interested, I pass.

Dillyeo.com offers a wide variety of products–everything from electronic gadgets, such as iPods, cameras, and GPS devices, to deals on clothing and household appliances.  Here’s a sampling of deals from the past several days:

Recent Dillyeos:

  • 9 in 1 Sports Combo Kit For Nintendo Wii
  • Hamilton Beach Wave Station 12 speed Blender
  • Jockey – 3 Pack Tagless Crewneck T-shirts
  • Advent 4″ Touch Screen Gps W/Mp3 & Fm Modulator
  • Travel Concepts Destiny 6 Piece Luggage Set
  • Soyo 22″ LCD HDTV
  • Samsung S1070 10.2 Megapixel Digital Camera

If you have a little Christmas cash to spend I encourage you to check out dillyeo.com (after you save a good portion of that cash, first!).  I plan to bookmark the site myself in the hopes that I can catch a few good deals here and there.

Use coupon code dillyeo09 between now and January 11th to save 10% off any Dillyeo.com purchase!

What’s the deal of the day today?  Click Here to See!

New Years Resolution Three: Double Blogging Goals

Posted on by  at  9:29 am
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This is the third and final article in a 3-part series on my New Year’s resolutions 2009.  Be sure to check out my first and second resolutions.

Happy New Year!  I hope you had an enjoyable New Year’s Eve celebration with family and friends, and are ready to turn the calendar on another wonderful year.  I’ve always enjoyed the New Year holiday because it seems like we have so many opportunities ahead, and a clean slate to start going after our goals.  I’ve already outlined two of my goals related to money and personal well-being, so now I’ll let you in on my goals for blogging.

Double Blogging Goals for 2008

I had a number of goals when I started this blog, and only a few of them had any quantitative measurements.  Mostly, I wanted a place to hold myself accountable for living a more frugal lifestyle, and a place where I could help others with family finances by telling a little about what works (and hasn’t worked) in our lives.  I feel Frugal Dad has been a success on those two accounts, but I am a results person–I like to see numbers and measurements and set goals to best them month over month.  So here are the three areas I tracked last year, including the personal goals I had established to meet by year-end, and where I would like them to be by the end of 2009.

Subscribers

This is one area where I had a hard time setting a realistic goal.  After looking around the top 100 personal finance blogs I quickly recognized that the top echelon was way out of reach (40,000+ subscribers).  At the time, those that had been around for about a year had attracted 2,000 subscribers, and several had around 4,000.  I shot for somewhere near the middle-3,500 subscribers in year one.

FeedBurner (the service I use to track subscribers) decided to take the New Year’s holiday off and dropped my count by a couple thousand, but as of 12/30/2008 I had 4,899 subscribers here at Frugal Dad.  Here’s a visual representation (from PopTopRanks.com):

(Those dips are other times when FeedBurner took the day off–to the frustration of bloggers everywhere!)

In 2009, I’d like to double my original goal to 7,000 subscribers.  In the first year, subscribers tend to grow exponentially, as is shown by the curve represented above.  In the second year that tends to flatten out a bit as you sort of saturate the market, or niche, that you are in.  Feel free to help me reach that 7,000 subscriber goal by sharing articles with friends, or telling them about Frugal Dad offline.  Besides a $50 experiment with AdWords (that failed miserably because I didn’t really know what I was doing), I spent no money advertising Frugal Dad this past year, and don’t plan to do so in 2009–that just wouldn’t be very frugal!

Traffic

Again, this is a tough goal to set when starting up a new blog.  Unless you are overly confident in your ability to attract visitors from all over the web it is unlikely that you will see more than 10,000 page views a month in the first few months of blogging.  I set a wild goal of receiving 100,000 page views a month by the end of 2008, and with the exception of a couple spikes in the summer, it took nearly a year to reach that on a consistent basis.  Here’s a look at the growth according to Sitemeter (the yellow bars represent visitors, and the red bars represent page views):

I expect the graph of traffic from 2009 will be a little smoother (and hopefully remain above 100,000 page views per month.  I have set an aggressive goal of reaching 250,000 page views per month in each of the last three months of 2009.

Income

When I first started Frugal Dad I didn’t set an income goal, not because I am some morally superior blogger who writes for intrinsic rewards only, but because I didn’t have a clue how people made money with blogs.  Soon, I was learning about various ad types and terms like CPM and affiliates and it was a whole new world to me!  I thought it would be really something to earn at least half of my full time income with blogging each month.

To avoid sharing specific numbers, I’ll just say that by the end of 2008 I am earning exactly half of my full-time income with blogging (if you average earnings over the second half of the year–when things really started to pick up).  Here’s a month-by-month look at percentage of full-time income earned from blogging and freelance writing endeavors:

I’d like to think I am starting 2009 with a little more knowledge on the potential earnings from blogging, but I admit to being way behind the curve compared to others who are much more successful, financially.  There are examples cropping up almost weekly of bloggers leaving the workplace to become a “problogger.”  I doubt that will be me any time soon, but I do have a stretch goal for making that a little closer to reality by the end of 2009.

By the end of 2009 I will be earning 100% of my full-time income through blog monetization and related writing activities. Yes, that means if I accomplish this I will have effectively doubled my personal income in two years.  Fingers crossed!

To recap, here are my three blogging goals for 2009:

  • Attract 7,000 subscribers
  • Receive 250,000 page views per month
  • Earn 100% of my regular, full-time earnings

Finally, I’d like to wrap up my New Year’s Resolutions series by thanking all of you for a successful 2008.  Without your willingness to be part of the community here the site would have folded a long time ago.  I have enjoyed getting to (virtually) know many regular readers and fellow bloggers, and consider a number amongst my personal friends.  My single regret when it comes to writing here at Frugal Dad was that I didn’t start it sooner!

As many long-time readers know, it was a tough year for us personally, and we look to 2009 with optimism.  I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year!

Interested in starting up your own blog?  I host my blogs with HostGator–a great host with awesome support!