Comments on: Marriage and Money: Who Handles The Bills?

By: New-Dad-Blog

New-Dad-Blog — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:03:54 +0000

My wife handles all the bills but we discuss our overall “strategy” together. She is more organized so I let her handle the day to day payments though.

By: Slinky

Slinky — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:30:47 +0000

Engaged, so not yet married, but we plan to continue on in the same fashion. I call our method, “Separate, but not alone.” That is, all the day to day handling is done separately, to each his own. Joint expenses are split 50/50. At the same time, we usually balance budgets and reconcile accounts at the same time and spend that time discussing where we’re at, our goals and their progress, and our future plans.

I think it’s the best of both worlds. We both know that we’re on track to meet our goals and working towards the same things, but we don’t have to worry about the other person’s day to day expenses or their splurge on a new video game. Besides, he budgets bi-weekly, and I budget monthly. It would never work!

By: TStrump

TStrump — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 06:03:50 +0000

Both need to take an active role in managing the money.
Obviously, one might have more time than the other – money tasks should be allocated accordingly.

By: Mocha Dad

Mocha Dad — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:25:20 +0000

I handle the finances because I’m more comfortable with online banking and bill paying.

By: Anna

Anna — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 07:02:33 +0000

Even if one spouse pays the bills, there are other ways the second spouse can be involved. My husband makes sure the bills get paid each month (although we have enough in savings now to automate the process – next on the to do list).

But I keep an eye on our budget. I try to find places where we can trim here or reduce somewhere else. I enjoy finding $5 here and $10 there. I also keep an eye on our interest rates for savings. Our local bank is offering 5% if you make 12 ATM transactions a month. I can do that easily with our groceries and weekly gas fill ups.

The best way to communicate about money is to split responsibilities. Since I was laid off, I am the best one to call the bank, utilities, or other places during the day. My husband doesn’t mind the tediousness of paying the bills. And we both keep each other informed of what info we have.

It takes work But it can be done. Just make sure each spouse feels like a working partner.

By: Kristy @ Master Your Card

Kristy @ Master Your Card — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 06:49:43 +0000

For myself, I’m single so there’s just me to answer to; however, I’ve seen a lot of problems in marriages related to this subject in my 6 years of banking. I think this needs to be discussed prior to the marriage and at least a rough idea of what kind of system you’ll use. Obviously, as the years progress a couple will fine tune it to suit their needs; however, I think the tips on the monthly budget meeting and not keeping a financial scorecard are extremely important. It’s about open communication, otherwise resentment does build up.

Great post!

By: RainyDaySaver

RainyDaySaver — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:24:15 +0000

Great tips. My fiance and I are getting married in 2 months, and we’ve already worked out how to handle the finances. Hopefully, it will be a smooth transition from separate to joint finance!

By: Maria

Maria — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 22:21:54 +0000

We received some good advice from an older couple a few years ago, that we’ve put into practice in the last year: With an agreed-upon budget, have one spouse handle the checkbook and other financial accounts for 6 months. Then switch and have the other handle it all for 6 months. It helps balance the responsibility/burden that finances can be.

By: Alison@This Wasn't In The Plan

Alison@This Wasn't In The Plan — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 20:23:51 +0000

As the stay at home parent, it seems to just make sense for me to handle the finances. Though my husband earns it, I am primarily the one who spends it. I can’t imagine being in charge of purchasing groceries or new clothes for the kids without knowing our financial bottom line and how much money we really had to spend on such things.

My husband knows how to access all of our financial accounts, and we work out a budget together. I let him know at least on a monthly basis where we stand savings wise and how our budget is working for us.

By: TParkerson

TParkerson — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 15:38:00 +0000

Jason…great post for everyone to start thinking and better yet, talking about. In our home, it is me who handles ( and sometimes mis-handles) the bills, with little input from dh.

In my first marriage, dh took care off all the $ stuff, I just handed him my check every 2 weeks. When he died suddenly, I was in over my head and the clock was ticking…I had no choice but to take a crash course in money and figure it all out…am still learning nearly 9 years later.

When dh2 came along, I was way too uptight to even think about letting him handle all the money, or even loosening up and letting him in, to work with me. So we have progressed for many years into a system that I think we both hate. Lately, I have come to realize that he feels scared and emasculated by his lack of knowledge.

So, where are we? I would love to say that I have fixed this, but I have to say that we are still taking tiny tiny baby steps…most days, we have to walk away and come back 3 or 4 times when we talk about money.

I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter who “does” the money, both must feel secure and involved. Communications are vital and long term goals are too. Good luck, it is much easier than it sounds!