Comments on: Adult Children Moving Home

By: Char

Char — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 01:59:55 +0000

My older brother is back home with my 80 something parents! He has never held a job for long in the past! He now has a job at a local Walmart. He is an alcoholic that refuses to go to AA, doesn’t take his meds for blood clots. Ended up in the hospital with no health insurance for 4 nights! We invited my parents over for dinner and mom said if the brother wasn’t invited her and my dad were not coming! Since when does an invite include a brother of 53? I am so upset by this! My mom babies him, takes care of him, yet he can not do anything for anyone! If they get sick, he can’t even drive them to doctor (he has had 11 DUI’s,) been in and out of rehab. My dad wants him out, but mother feels guilty! It is ruining the relationship with myself and my two sister’s and their husbands! My one sister took care of him for over 8 years, and fianlly couldn’t take it any more!
He can’t even mow the lawn, my 85 year old dad does it! I can’t take it anymore! He is making my parents loose out on their Golden years! They can’t travle because they can’t leave him home alone, when they visit my sister’s they take him along! My sister’s want to visit with my parents, not the brother no one can stand! Help….any ideas!

By: frustratedinmd

frustratedinmd — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 12:21:29 +0000

Finances are not the issue- we have a large paid off house, I have a good retirement pension and savings. However, my daughter who moved home after college had an unpaid internship(only because I pushed and pushed her- but I did not do any of the work) for a year but then nothing came of it. Because I pushed her she found a very p/t job- a few nights a month and volunteers 6 hours a week(because that is what she “wants” to do). I cannot get her to get off her butt to do anything more- unless she is “interested” in it. She has applied to graduate school but it does not look good- 2 denials already. I am waiting to hear(within 2 weeks I think) about her getting in or not. I guess the next step (which should have been the first) is setting a timeline for work -as I get angrier every day seeing her watch TV and playing on her computer

By: Samuel

Samuel — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 23:43:32 +0000

I am in a cituation where my wife has had a serious operation from which she is doing very well and is expected to recover very quickly. She has 2 daughters that absolutely hate me. I call it “stepites”. they are both in their late 40′s. the problem is they want to move in to care for their mom which is not an unusual request however they both have developed an attitude that this is going to be and the will disrespect me if they want to. I am a strong willed man and I will not be disrespected in my home so Now you know my stance. Can anyone advise me.

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:55:51 +0000

There’s nothing amiss about adult children moving home with their parents for legitimate reasons. It has to be controlled though. Not working for extended periods, not providing their own needs such as groceries, toiletries, car and expenses, etc. should not be tolerated.

By: Linda in Florida

Linda in Florida — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:47:10 +0000

My brother, almost 51 years old, moved into my parents home after his divorce around 12 years ago. Now his adult son and his 2 babies he had with a girlfriend are living there also. Both my brother and his son work but constribute nothing (no chores and no money for rent or groceries). My parents babysit a lot with no pay. My parents are in their mid 80′s and Dad has beginning dementia. They don’t have a lot of money but I stopped sending them money becasue they just give it to my brother and his son. I don’t feel good about this situation. I don’t know what is going to happen to them when my parents pass away.

By: Carol

Carol — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:03:07 +0000

My daughter and her 3 grown children plus my daughter’s boyfriend moved in 2005. They never kept jobs for long and were very lazy around the house. The basement was wall to wall trash. I complained to no avail. Finally I got her to move a couple of months ago and she resents me for it. She is having major money problems and may become homeless in a couple of months. Hopefully, there will be some charitable organization to help. I just couldn’t take all the noise, uncleanliness and I could not even sit in the living room.

Sometimes even when a child has financial problems, it just isn’t a good idea to let them move in.

Thanks,

By: beehive

beehive — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 10:28:26 +0000

I think that children should contribute to the family by working and giving financially and if they are in-between jobs they should help with the chores. I have my own flat near my parents, but lived at home till I was in my thirties. My parents furnished my flat and still help me out (probably too much for my age. I admire the Indian culture and their closeness of family ties though. Some westerners aren’t close to their families, also some parents are cruel in that they just want their kids out regardless of whether they’ve got a child or not and don’t care about the childs, or grandchilds future, I would find this impossible to forgive. I have discussed this with friends, and my friend (who is in his forties) still lives happily with his mum. I asked his opinion on why some children live happily at their parents long after they are adults and some don’t and he said that it depends on what the relationship was like originally and maybe they go back and find that nothing’s changed. I moved out because me and my mum clash temprementally, although we are good friends and see each other often (and also at my age I needed my own space). My parents never ‘ordered’ me to get out like some do, it was a joint decision. My friend said we are lucky to have families like we do.

By: Patricia

Patricia — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:46:29 +0000

I am the parent of a semi grad student.He must finish his intern but unfortunately, the “career” he choose, is in turmoil (mining). He has moved back home, and I must say, I had not made “rules” prior to this (it has now been 4 months). I figured I didn’t need to – he’s 26. Now, I have 2 men in the home, and my “significant” other of 20 years,walked away TODAY. So, this economic crisis has not just hit the pocketbook,it has really damaged relationships.I am so sad for these young adults today.There was never a “book” on this….

By: michael kaas

michael kaas — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:40:11 +0000

I’m researching a story on people moving back home with their parents for economic reasons. Would love to chat with anyone who has done this, or knows someone who has. My email is mk1@cbsnews.com

Please email me if you feel like it! thanks!

By: LonleyinTexas

LonleyinTexas — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:10:54 +0000

My husband and I are moving back in with my mom, this week(we are both 23). We both have ok jobs. We have so much debt that we just can’t stay afoat. We are gonna move in with my parents chip in for the light and water. Buy our food, pay off our debt, get some money in the bank and move out. My parent have a 5 bedroom 3 bath house, and they have to pay the house note, light, water, and cable if we are there or not so they dont care. We make enough money to make it if we did not have to make payments on everything. We have a shot right to make a good step in the right dorection. My 21 year old brother is at home working and going to college, my sister is moving home too…with baby #2. We are no trouble…at least we have a job…and no baby. I know it sucks moving home but at least we can get started in the correct direction (like my mom told me to do in the 1st place…teenagers). Do what you have to do and get out, thats what she tells all of us.