Comments on: Adult Children Moving Home

By: Samuel

Samuel — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 23:43:32 +0000

I am in a cituation where my wife has had a serious operation from which she is doing very well and is expected to recover very quickly. She has 2 daughters that absolutely hate me. I call it “stepites”. they are both in their late 40′s. the problem is they want to move in to care for their mom which is not an unusual request however they both have developed an attitude that this is going to be and the will disrespect me if they want to. I am a strong willed man and I will not be disrespected in my home so Now you know my stance. Can anyone advise me.

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:55:51 +0000

There’s nothing amiss about adult children moving home with their parents for legitimate reasons. It has to be controlled though. Not working for extended periods, not providing their own needs such as groceries, toiletries, car and expenses, etc. should not be tolerated.

By: Linda in Florida

Linda in Florida — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:47:10 +0000

My brother, almost 51 years old, moved into my parents home after his divorce around 12 years ago. Now his adult son and his 2 babies he had with a girlfriend are living there also. Both my brother and his son work but constribute nothing (no chores and no money for rent or groceries). My parents babysit a lot with no pay. My parents are in their mid 80′s and Dad has beginning dementia. They don’t have a lot of money but I stopped sending them money becasue they just give it to my brother and his son. I don’t feel good about this situation. I don’t know what is going to happen to them when my parents pass away.

By: Carol

Carol — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:03:07 +0000

My daughter and her 3 grown children plus my daughter’s boyfriend moved in 2005. They never kept jobs for long and were very lazy around the house. The basement was wall to wall trash. I complained to no avail. Finally I got her to move a couple of months ago and she resents me for it. She is having major money problems and may become homeless in a couple of months. Hopefully, there will be some charitable organization to help. I just couldn’t take all the noise, uncleanliness and I could not even sit in the living room.

Sometimes even when a child has financial problems, it just isn’t a good idea to let them move in.

Thanks,

By: beehive

beehive — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 10:28:26 +0000

I think that children should contribute to the family by working and giving financially and if they are in-between jobs they should help with the chores. I have my own flat near my parents, but lived at home till I was in my thirties. My parents furnished my flat and still help me out (probably too much for my age. I admire the Indian culture and their closeness of family ties though. Some westerners aren’t close to their families, also some parents are cruel in that they just want their kids out regardless of whether they’ve got a child or not and don’t care about the childs, or grandchilds future, I would find this impossible to forgive. I have discussed this with friends, and my friend (who is in his forties) still lives happily with his mum. I asked his opinion on why some children live happily at their parents long after they are adults and some don’t and he said that it depends on what the relationship was like originally and maybe they go back and find that nothing’s changed. I moved out because me and my mum clash temprementally, although we are good friends and see each other often (and also at my age I needed my own space). My parents never ‘ordered’ me to get out like some do, it was a joint decision. My friend said we are lucky to have families like we do.

By: Patricia

Patricia — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:46:29 +0000

I am the parent of a semi grad student.He must finish his intern but unfortunately, the “career” he choose, is in turmoil (mining). He has moved back home, and I must say, I had not made “rules” prior to this (it has now been 4 months). I figured I didn’t need to – he’s 26. Now, I have 2 men in the home, and my “significant” other of 20 years,walked away TODAY. So, this economic crisis has not just hit the pocketbook,it has really damaged relationships.I am so sad for these young adults today.There was never a “book” on this….

By: michael kaas

michael kaas — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:40:11 +0000

I’m researching a story on people moving back home with their parents for economic reasons. Would love to chat with anyone who has done this, or knows someone who has. My email is mk1@cbsnews.com

Please email me if you feel like it! thanks!

By: LonleyinTexas

LonleyinTexas — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:10:54 +0000

My husband and I are moving back in with my mom, this week(we are both 23). We both have ok jobs. We have so much debt that we just can’t stay afoat. We are gonna move in with my parents chip in for the light and water. Buy our food, pay off our debt, get some money in the bank and move out. My parent have a 5 bedroom 3 bath house, and they have to pay the house note, light, water, and cable if we are there or not so they dont care. We make enough money to make it if we did not have to make payments on everything. We have a shot right to make a good step in the right dorection. My 21 year old brother is at home working and going to college, my sister is moving home too…with baby #2. We are no trouble…at least we have a job…and no baby. I know it sucks moving home but at least we can get started in the correct direction (like my mom told me to do in the 1st place…teenagers). Do what you have to do and get out, thats what she tells all of us.

By: Monevator

Monevator — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 09:45:51 +0000

My girlfriend recently moved back in with her parents, and pays them (less than market but still reasonable) rent. She also does all the cooking!

By: Melanie

Melanie — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:18:14 +0000

I like what FD is saying about all of this– but it seems he’s talking about kids moving back home because of difficult circumstances. I’m a parent of teenagers, and I do not and will not ever consider “I want to save more money for a house” a difficult circumstance. (Yeah, and I want to save more paying down my mortgage faster. Life’s tough all over, bub.)

Of course it’s cheaper living with your parents– they’re footing the vast majority of the bills. Of course you can save more money faster — you aren’t responsible for your upkeep.

But I’ve told my teens that when they move out, they will be declaring themselves independent human beings — which has been my goal for them all along. If they choose to come back, they will be treated as independent human beings who have to pay rent for their residence, just like the rest of us. And if they’ve made poor choices then we will work together to sort those out. If they are not working on the problems, Dad and I won’t be the solution. And by the way, if you’re living in a home, running a vacuum in a common area is definitely your responsibility, no matter who’s paying the mortgage.

In Money magazine this month, The Money Shrink spoke of increasing incentives to move out, with co-responsibilities such as matching earnings 50 cents on the dollar, offering to pay the apartment deposit in 3 months (but only half of it in 6 months). Because young adults are still adults.

After college, it’s time to act like one.