Comments on: Financial Impact Of Having Kids Early

By: Torkel

Torkel — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:36:29 +0000

Thank God for these posts! I married at 23, and although we wanted kids right away we weren’t financially ready. No job or place to stay but we were in love. We planned to start trying around our 1st anniversary, but to our surprise we had our 1st son just a week before our 1st anniversary. We were flat broke but happy and excited. Our daughter came 2 years later and our situation was only a little better. When my dauthter was only 4 months old we realized that we were expecting again (due in march again . I had just started a new job, but my husband was out of work so we were back where we started. It’s a little stressful, but we’re still happy. We do wonder when were gonna both have stable jobs with 3 kids. I’m getting tied off after this pregnancy as I always wanted to have my kids before turning 30. Now that I’m 28 and about to have my 3rd child, I’m ready to get established in the workplace and build a sound future. But even though it’s been rough alot of times – we manage to stay happy!

By: Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 01:34:00 +0000

As a physician I will add one point that many people forget.

Just because you plan on delaying having children until you are older does not mean you will be able to. Risk of genetic abnormalities aside, you are not as fertile in your 30′s as you are in your 20′s. I can’t count the number of women I have dealt with who were surprised of the difficulties (and many time impossibility) of getting pregnant in their mid to late 30′s.

While I am certainly not saying rush and have them in your late teens or early 20′s but if you are in a secure relationship and kids are absolutely in your life plan, 25 is a much better biological time to start than 35.

By: James

James — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 07:04:58 +0000

Thanks for writing a thorough article about personal finance management. I am getting married soon and I’ve learnt something new and hope to test drive your ideas soon. Awesome article!!

By: TStrump

TStrump — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 04:47:44 +0000

My brother is learning this lesson, now.
They decided to have a child, but didn’t have their financial house in order.
Now, things are a little tight and I’ve gotten the odd call or two to help them out.

By: Karissa

Karissa — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 03:17:25 +0000

I did it my way http://www.debtfreekid.com/2009/03/i-did-it-my-way.html

By: Lakedweller

Lakedweller — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:16:04 +0000

I am curious to hear about some of the “financial” blunders some of the mature parents have made. We are about to have our third child and feel like we are doing everything right. Are we blind to the mistakes we made that won’t surface for a few years?

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:24:17 +0000

I had my daughter at 33 when we were in pretty good financial shape. My husband was quite stressed though because he had just started his own business as a contractor and he wasn’t sure what his income would be. His financial doubts then started to worry me. In Canada, we get a semi-paid, one-year maternity leave, but it caps you off at about $400 a week, and I make well over that, so it did cramp my style a bit. But before I left for maternity leave I put away 10K for spending money while I was on leave. Well I was so stressed out about not earning as much as I usually do, that when my maternity leave was over I still had 7K left. Then I went to work kicking myself for not enjoying my maternity leave as much as I could have if I had just loosened the purse strings a bit.

One advantage of being older and more financially secure is that you have more choices. I wanted to return to work, but also wanted excellent care for my daughter, so we have a nanny. I’m not sure too many couples starting their family early could afford this option.

By: Scoutsigns

Scoutsigns — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:26:28 +0000

I put off responding to this to see what the tide of comments were like. I have a different perspective to offer.

My wife and I married early, and began to have kids. Now we have 8. Our oldest is 25, our youngest is 2. I’ve had 2 weddings, 2 college expenses (for kids), and (soon) 5 grandchildren.

I have dozens of friends and acquaintances with large families (5 kids), so I’ve seen a lot of situations.

Over the years, my wife and I have commented on the lie that is perpetuated about the expense and difficulty of having children. We cringe every time the news comes out with one of “those” stories–”it takes $6.4M to raise one child from pre-conception counseling through Ivy League PhD”.

The reality of it is that it does help you grow up faster than your childless peers. The flipside secret is that it keeps you younger for a lot longer.

You get to reuse clothing; you make better choices in food (more basics, less processed); friends, family and neighbors cast things off by the carload for you to use; you pay less in taxes; you get greater amounts of financial aid for college; and more.

[I would also point out that we are good for the economy. I wish the corporate world would recognize that.]

There are a lot of reasons to have more children–what if Social Security doesn’t work out so great? I have 8 chances of not living in a nursing home someday if I become incapacitated. Or viewed another way, I have 8 people who can help care for me in my old age, as I have cared for them my entire adult life.

I mow sometimes because I want to, but I haven’t HAD to in 15 years.

Life is richer, and it has nothing to do with money. My married kids bring their families over for dinner on Sunday–cheap, loud, hectic fun.

Marriages survive longer with more kids. Kids tend to have fewer “social” problems–drugs, alcohol, abuse, premarital pregnancy. These social problems are huge expenses saved. I hear divorce is expensive.

Our grandparents survived the Depression and several wars with lots of kids. They raised huge families in tiny houses, with limited incomes, and most moms staying at home.

We are the first generation to think that the relatively self-absorbed siblingless child is ideal. We have deceived ourselves into thinking that we have more quality for our kids by keeping their numbers down.

Sad. Don’t live in fear.

If it helps, 3 is the tipping point. It gets easier after that because you have made all of the cash investments, your house is big enough (3 bedrooms and a basement is great), and your kids are beginning to get old enough to be a big help!

Twelve year olds raised around younger children are capable of taking care of kids, from diapers to dinner.

I’m at the very beginning of a blog to help large families address their financial concerns, since most info out there is addressed to small families (3 or fewer). Not even close to primetime yet, but keep an eye out.

http://largefamilyfinance.blogspot.com/

In short, more kids are cheaper per child, and I believe a better return on investment per child.

Happy to hear your comments!

By: Anon

Anon — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:16:10 +0000

Hi Diane, that’s good advice. Thanks. I’ve heard that from others as well. I actually run my own business and have been able to be home for the past 7 years while working 20-30 hours per week (though making more than a full-salried person with my qualifications). I work evenings and weekends. When dad is home, I work and vice versa. Hopefully this model will continue to work until they are out of the house.

By: Diane

Diane — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:33:58 +0000

@Anon – Just keep in mind that when your career is peaking & your kids are teenagers they may need you at home more than ever. Being driven is fine, but leaving high school age kids alone too much can be a recipe for disaster.

When they’re younger you can make use of after-school care, but as teenagers it’s more of a problem. It helps to have a parent more available, rather than in the peak of a career.

I’m on the 2nd teenager & after problems with the 1st (now in college) I’ve managed to work from home & be more involved with the 2nd in high school. It’s made a world of difference.

Just a thought…