As a parent, I would absolutely send my child to the school that would benefit him the most. My instinct is to say cost be damned, but really I mean cost be managed.

Try to think creatively to come up with ways to cut the expenses or increase income to accomplish this. It could be as simple as babysitting a couple of evenings a week, while your husband stays home with the kids. Maybe you have a car payment that is overbearing and you could get out of that and drive a beater to finance your son’s education.

The moral of the story is that you may have to forgo lifestyle or free-time to do what is best for your son, but you don’t have to sacrifice your familie’s financial future.

We are spending every dime we have to rent half a house in a stellar public school district. We were in a “good”school district, but the kids were bored, and so, getting into trouble. Private school does not compete financially- our high rent is a 2-for-1 value.

The increased rent we pay (buying here is not feasible- the houses average about a mill a piece), makes us probably the lowest monthly payers to have our kids in this district. But I had to work 14 hour freelance days last summer to supplement my teachers salary to afford it. This year I am scrambling- freelance is dead.

We are servicing our student loans (my MS and hubby’s PHD), but retirement savings is on hold.

My kids know that college is mostly on them, our larger contribution to their college is the district that will get them into Ivy league with scholarships.

We all do what we have to do. I know that once the nest is empty, will likely work till we drop. Good thing we like our professions!

We receive the funding he would receive for public school via a McKay scholarship, in Florida.

Good luck, it has gotten easier for us as time has gone on.

Also, don’t forgot about the expense of dietary needs. Our first actual diagnosis for a milk allergy has come back, and now they are testing for wheat/yeast.

Another consideration is integration; I am a firm believer in integration with assistance as a great treatment for high-functioning autism. My cousin has done exceptionally well with an aid in public school, being around other kids a large portion of the day and having instances to interact. What is the public school program like? How have other autistic children fared in the classroom situation? Are their teachers who help the other children understand your son, and vice versa?

Another consideration is our other child. How much cutting can you do before he is affected? Would putting your other child in expensive school mean he would not be able to participate in activities? When he goes to school, would you be able to work part or full time to make up for the lost income from tuition? Remember you are raising two children. One has special needs, yes, but the other has needs too. This is often something families have to reconcile.

Another question: would your son benefit from one on one work? If that is what you are looking for, perhaps an independent helper or professional could spend time working with your son outside of school. If one on one work is what you are looking for, having someone come to your home or work wth your son at their office might be great for him, and possibly less expensive. Maybe even covered by insurance?

My Son has been diagnosed with Autism and he just finished his first year at a public school here in Tucson, AZ. I must say that I feel the program he was in did a terrific job at helping him accomplish our goals for the year. That being said…

The Wife and I are buying a home in a district not known for it’s stellar schools and will be moving soon. This was a big decision for us for this reason alone, but we bought the home anyway. We are planning to investigate wether our Son will thrive in the local public school or not. Now being that I am a SAHD, I WILL be investigating his school. I believe in showing up unannounced, asking teachers about both their educational approach and their credentials, and making a determination for myself as to wether or not I will be keeping my Son in their program. I realize financial concerns can prohibit some from sending their child to a private school, but your local public school may be a better choice for your child. Remember, Autism is not a specific condition but rather a set of conditions, making each child very unique and able to thrive in different conditions.

I guess my long-winded point is this: investigate both schools for yourself (not soley on the advice of friends and well meaning family) and see where your child will thrive. Isn’t that what the search is really all about, after all?

From the original post, it sounds like the family has existing debt to pay off, so it worries me that they might forgo making any progress while the child is in private school. Tough call, but I would follow Katie’s advice and if I determined that the private school was the best option, make the sacrifices necessary to pay the tuition and still make headway on paying debt.

I have a close friend who’s son shows signs of autism/asperger’s (no definitive diagnosis was found). They were able to get him in a private pre-school at 3 or 4 years old, then transition to a specialized public school program for a year, and now he is in a regular 1st grade class with some additional help at times.

Good luck with your decision. I think its great that you are thinking through all the issues rather than just taking the leap without seeing where it will lead.

Like Rob said, if it were a college aged child I would probably say no. But being it is a young child with special needs, I would probably pay for the better schooling.

Keep us updated..