Great post!

- Coming from a family of big spenders
- Having (non-divorce, non-medical) bankruptcies in the family
- Having a “close” family where there’s lots of gift giving and entertaining (a perfect chance to show off all of one’s toys), and
- Coming from a family or ethnic tradition in which financially indulging one another is considered a sign of love.

Cheers,

Squeaky

It’s really never about what we buy or want. It’s about why it’s important to us. Why we put ourselves in jeopardy.

Until we understand what drives us to make poor spending/financial choices, which even intelligent people who truly know better continue to do, we can’t really get out of our problem and change our behavior.

FYI: For many, it’s not about having the best or keeping up with the neighbors. It’s not even entitlement (I deserve the best.)

It’s far more complicated and deep. if you look deep into the hearts and souls of people with debt, and a pattern of financial irresponsibility (no matter how it shows up), you will see someone with emotional issues and challenges. Someone who doesn’t feel secure, loved and/or safe.

When you feel secure, loved and safe, you don’t make choices that hurt you.

Another side of it is those who seek to make others feel secure, loved and safe by spending on them. Again, this doesn’t work either.

If you want an example, look at someone like Michael Jackson, who by many accounts was a shrewd businessperson but not good at personal finance. Hmmm. Why the disconnect? I’m thinking if you or I could generate billions over a lifetime, we would not be in debt. Or would we be, just like him?

Think about it. All the adoration. His children. Nothing made him feel loved. All that stuff and still no happiness. And clearly, lots of emotional and physical pain.

Stuff won’t make us happy. Even all those “experiences” people talk about won’t either.

All we do is dig ourselves into big holes with our debt, which, I think does come from an inferiority complex (we don’t deserve to be debt free and happy!)

GOod topic.

“It is ultimately up to you to be content with your life and your posessions. Judge your success not on the accumulation of material things, but on the accumulation of relationships built with loved ones. On the impact you have in other people’s lives.” Very deep message there.

In order to do that we need to find ways to detach from the culture around us, and spend some time in quiet places where no one is telling us what to think.