This is exactly right, no matter what you should always ask yourself this question. I have to admit, i’ve been a victim of not thinking before I buy in the past. As I grow older I grow wiser (as you do)

Really interesting post.

Bryan

Helps me put things in perspective!

A wedding, on the other hand is a big waste of money over $10,000 I believe. We spent a total of $800 bucks (fiance decided it) and had ours on the beach with a live musician to boot. The $800 bucks also covered the lunch for 16. It was AWESOME, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, neither would my wife.

Don’t “skimp” on education if you have a choice. If you don’t have a choice, it doesn’t matter, b/c anybody can do anything.

Best,

RB

Rich By 30 Retire By 40

Marriage has always been celebrated, and there’s an impression that over-the-top celebrations are related to the affluence of an overall region or people. But in some of the poorest nations of the world such as parts of Afghanistan and India, weddings are very elaborate and they cost several times a family’s yearly income. The tradition of the big wedding bash appears to come from the dowry tradition. One of Olwen Hufton’s books, “The Prospect Before Her”, discussed the dowry tradition as it appeared in different cultures. I’ll try to boil it down into a few talking points.

Originally a dowry was essentially a woman’s share of her inheritance from her parents, which she generally received early when she married. There was a practical reason for this. When a woman married, she became part of her husband’s family and often left the immediate area. Getting in touch with her to distribute an inheritance many years later would have been nearly impossible before the Communications Age.

Over time, people’s assets changed and so did the way they lived. Migrating herders settled into towns and built houses. So far more of a family’s wealth was tied up in the house and other necessities for urban life, and assets weren’t as liquid as they’d once been. Even among farmers, maintaining a homestead took more assets because of all the cultivation required, so daughters of farmers who were once dowered with a portion of their parents’ herds could no longer expect to receive a fair share of the inheritance, unless the family scraped together all its cash and negotiable goods, which created great hardship. You’ll notice in just about every society that as soon as a cultural renaissance occurred and started to draw people into the cities, the dowry tradition began to break down for this reason.

The purpose of a dowry changed over time. Originally, after the wedding, the parents were no longer responsible for any of the adult woman’s expenses, nor was she entitled to an inheritance later even if she were legally allowed to own property in her own right, which she generally was not. As women began to become more economically independent, they fought for and earned the right to own property. At that point, dowries became embarrassing. Yet estate management didn’t keep pace. Parents who had businesses or similar assets generally left them to sons, not to daughters, who seldom had the training or skills to operate them. Yet fair-minded parents seldom intended to disinherit their daughters completely, so they channeled the “dowry” into a big gift, specifically the wedding celebration.

So: the more affluent the family, the bigger the wedding celebration. Conspicuous consumption became a public indicator of family wealth.

It’s funny because very few brides who let their parents pay for their weddings like to think of themselves as the beneficiaries of a very old, patriarchal dowry tradition.

The origin of the wedding shower is even weirder.

In Israel at least, the Bar Mitzvah’s can be larger than an inauguration of a President! I’d love to hear about other countries with a more reasonable approach.