Readers, I could use your expertise with medical bills to help out a fellow reader.  Glen writes in with the following question regarding medical bills for his wife showing on his credit report:

I recently was denied credit and when I looked at my credit report I found that some wage garnishments had made it onto my credit report.

OK here is the kicker.  These bills were not mine but actually my wife’s medical bills. We went through some really hard times with her addiction and mental health issues.  We were close to a divorce so she did not give me permission to see her medical records.  Because of HIPPA laws I am not allowed to even discuss a bill of hers even if I dispute it.

What finally happened was credit agencies started sending her letters, then calls.  Since it’s not in my name I’m not permitted to open the letter or even if I did see it, which I did not because she kept them from me, I was not permitted to discuss it with them.  Since she was dealing with these mental health issues she did nothing about it.  Eventually I was served with a judgment saying they were going to garnish my wages.  Even though I could just pay the bill outright I was not permitted to even set that up because by law I cannot discuss it without her permission.  I can’t even dispute it with the courts because it’s my wife’s medical information.

So in short, by law, the spouse who’s name appears first on the insurance cards is financially responsible for all bills but has no right at all of even know a bill exists in the first place.  We  get to know a bill exists when they start garnishing wages, but even then you can’t call to dispute it.  By then it’s too late anyway.

How can I be reasonably expected to pay a bill I’m not entitled to see, discuss or know of its existence?  I want to dispute this but I’m not sure how because by law I’m told they are my responsibility.

Any advice you can provide would be appreciated.

Glen, that’s a tough situation. First, I’m sorry you and your wife had to go through this experience at all.  I hope she is doing better.  I wasn’t sure from your message whether or not you are still together, or if in fact the divorce was finalized. I’ll answer your question with the assumption that the divorce was finalized and you are now separated.

As far as the medical bills go, it appears from your email that you are more than willing (and able) to pay for the bills.  However, privacy concerns are preventing you from finding out important things like account numbers, payee contact information, etc.

You are correct that as the guarantor on the insurance plan you are ultimately financially responsible for the bill.  I would start by pulling a current copy of your credit report.  Look for any contact information, name of a collection company or attorney, etc.  The second place to look would be the court jurisdiction where the judgment was served.  A clerk there may be able to provide information for the party bringing the claim (probably the folks you need to settle up with).

Finally, and this may be a stretch, your wife (or ex-wife, whatever the case may be), may be willing to contact the medical provider and submit a HIPAA release form.  This would allow you to discuss information regarding her care received by that provider, and the associated outstanding debts.

I did find this related blurb on the web.  It was not from a credible source, but it might give you terminology for discussions with the medical provider or collections firm.

…If the husband is the primary on her insurance, he can be presented with a listing of services the insurance company paid for. However, as the Payer is only entitled to “minimum necessary” PHI and is required to pass on only “minimum necessary”, they can’t really say too much about what happened, and they cannot specifically declare a diagnosis.

The post at this site also looks promising – HCPro.com.

It might be time to consult legal advice.  An attorney may be able to help hunt down the judgment records and determine more information about the agency or agencies you owe.  They may also be able to advise you on your rights, responsibilities, etc.

In the interim, you might want to add a consumer statement to your credit file with each of the three major credit bureaus.  It may or may not help in your attempt to acquire new credit for the lender to see an explanation for outstanding judgments.  It would be most helpful if you could make these lenders whole so it would be reported as a “paid” debt.

What other advice can you give Glen?  Would especially love to hear from someone in the medical or collections fields that could give Glen some guidance.

Jaime wrote in this week to ask a long question about patching things up with a friend who has failed to pay her back for a loan.  But it was her closing question that had an impact on me – so much so that I decided to share the question, and my answer, here for all the world to see.  Feel free to share your answer as well.  Maybe we’ll all feel better after this online confessional!

Jaime asks:

Please tell me you’ve done something equally stupid in the past.  I know we all have financial skeletons in the closet, but sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in my circle who screws up.  What was your biggest financial mistake?

Well Jaime, lots to choose from here!  I’ve made just about every dumb move with money you could make.  A few had more zeroes on the end of them than others.  But I don’t regret making them because they got me to where I am today.

Still, there is one very big mistake I made at 20 years old that still haunts me today, nearly twelve years later.  I leased a car.  It was an SUV to be exact.

Photo by Edmunds.com

I’d been eying the new Isuzu Rodeo for a several weeks, but never dared to step foot on the car lot (at least not during business hours) to get a closer look.  One morning, in a moment of weakness, I moved in for a closer look.  I had no money to put down, no trade in, and no business being on a car lot.  But, I was young and dumb and suffering from car fever.  It didn’t take long for the salesman to find me – in fact, he must have seen me coming from a long way off!

I started off perusing the used Rodeos, but none of them really struck my fancy.  The salesman effectively guided me towards the “new car” inventory on the lot, and that’s when I saw her.  She was sleek, yet rugged.  Roomy, yet compact.  It was a brand new Isuzu Rodeo.  This is the part of the story where I should have ran as far and as fast as my 1985 Buick Century (the reason I was on the car lot) would take me.  Instead, I ran to the salesman’s office to “work out a deal.”

Of course I was sold on the leasing option since I had nothing down and no trade-in to speak of.  I was told I would need nothing down, but would need to come up with the first payment and a few fees.  I scrambled together the cash and eventually drove off the lot with my new, shiny toy.

Fast forward a couple years.  The “newness” of the Rodeo had dwindled nearly as fast as the value of the thing. I was rough on the interior, and exceeded the mileage limits thanks to several trips to visit the new in-laws a couple hundred miles away.  It would have cost me money just to turn the Rodeo in at the end of the lease.  So, I financed the remainder in the form of a 36-month used car loan, extending the effective length of my car debt to nearly six years.

Fast forward another few years.  In a similar moment of “I work hard so I deserve it,” I ventured back to a used car lot (at least I stayed on the used lot this time) and drove away with a new-t0-me Chevy Silverado.  My trade in?  That same Isuzu Rodeo with about $1,500 left on the loan.  The dealership was nice enough to pay off my loan in exchange for me “taking the truck off their hands.”

Just a few months later, I realized I could not afford the Silverado payments and decided to put my new-to-me truck up for sale.  I took the first offer and received about $1,000 less than what it cost me to drive it off the lot just a few months earlier, finally ending the spiral of debt that old Rodeo put me in many years before.

Looking back, I realize I should have driven that old Buick until the wheels fell off. I should have saved and paid cash for a used car.  I should have never leased the SUV under terms I wouldn’t be able to live up to so I could turn it back in without penalty.  But like I said, all of those decisions got me to where I am today – for better or worse.

OK, I confessed.  So what was your biggest financial mistake?

Last Friday night I met my wife and kids for dinner after work for the first time in a long, long time.  We do not eat out much, and when we do it is typically fast food, or something we pick up and take home to eat.  As I was finishing up my meal, I noticed our server clearing another table and as he raked the dollar and change from the table he shook his head in exasperation.

Now, I know cheapskate tippers have been around forever, in good and bad economies.  My wife was a waitress in college and told me many horror stories about bad tippers, from those that completely forgot to leave a tip to those that remembered, but only left the bare minimum according to standard tipping guidelines.

I consider myself a generous tipper, and I have continued that trend despite the economic downturn.  If the service is particularly good, it isn’t uncommon for me to leave a 15%-20% tip.  For exceptional service, I take 10%, double it, and round up or down to the nearest dollar for an even tip.  The difference in 10% and 20% is often only a dollar or two, and I figure the person serving my meal could use it more than me.

Of course, as menu prices continue to climb, so does the amount of tips assuming you continue following the same tipping guidelines.  Using my calculations, a $40 dinner bill comes with an $8 tip, putting your night out with the family dangerously close to $50.  But considering we don’t go out that often, I have no problem paying for outstanding service.

I’m interested to hear from you.  Have your tipping guidelines changed recently? Do you work for tips, and if so, have you seen a drop in income?

According to the experts it is once again cool to be frugal.  I’ve heard advertising types tossing around articles with titles like, “Frugal is the New Black.” My favorite recent article on the subject was from Randall at Credit Withdrawal where he writes, “It’s Hip To Be Spare” (take that Huey Lewis!).  Yes, these are good times for those of who live frugal lives and were made fun of unmercifully when times were good. One has to wonder, will the frugal trend last?The last two decades lead me to believe no, frugality won’t be a lasting trend, at least among the masses.  In fact, despite what the media tells us, I’m not even sure frugality is a trend now.  The last time a new version the iPhone was released I passed a Best Buy store on the way to work and saw dozens of people camped outside the store at 7:00 in the morning–for a telephone (so it’s more than a phone, but come on!).

Last weekend my wife and I stumbled on an old $25 Olive Garden gift card we had received as a gift, and we enjoyed a nice evening out.  We decided to go early to avoid the crowds, but even at 5:00pm there was a 45-minute wait!  The wine was flowing freely from the tables around us, and when we left the restaurant the line waiting to eat was nearly twice as long.

All this to say that it does not seem like people are living very frugal, despite how good or bad their finances are.  I imagine the level of frugality displayed varies by locations, so I wanted to get your take.

Based on what you’ve seen around your hometowns, is the frugal movement something that you believe will take hold and stick around?  Or is it simply another fad that disappears as soon as the markets begin to rebound?

I received the following email from a reader and wanted to toss it out as an “Ask the Reader” post.  I’m certain there are people out there smarter than me on the subject, and can offer some solid advice for those holding money in banks such as WaMu or even an online bank that may be in trouble..  From my limited knowledge and experience in the banking industry I do know that the FDIC insures the first $100,000 of money on deposit with banks.  Above that it gets dicey because while those with money on deposit in excess of $100,000 do get the opportunity to stake their claim to any remaining bank assets, so do creditors and a long list of other investors.

Unfortunately, I don’t have to worry about savings above $100,000 (yet).  For the amount we do have in emergency savings we keep up with our last statement just in case we are required to show proof of our account balance in the event of a bank shutdown or data loss.  In addition to the information savvy readers will share in the comments here, I recommend readers check out Trent’s recent post at The Simple Dollar, Will My Money Be Safe.  It provides a nice run down on the rules for various types of investments.

Here’s a copy of the message I received:

I just started a WaMu savings account for my growing emergency fund.  Now with the news they are next in line to be either bought out or bailed out should I be worried or moving my money?   I know my money is protected by the FDIC but I don’t want to go through any processes like that to get it back if something happens.  Should I just sit tight or should I be opening another account else where?

What advice do you have for this fellow reader?  Are you in a similar situation?

Happy Fourth of July! I’m finally getting a much-needed break from work and plan on unplugging from my normal routine for the day.  We’ll probably grill out in the backyard and enjoy a lazy afternoon at home.  There are plenty of things I should be doing, but today I think I’ll just enjoy the rest.  Be sure to take a moment and remember those serving our country around the world.  Without their sacrifices, and the sacrifices of their families, we would have no independence to celebrate!

I’d like to use this break in the action to ask an important question that’s been on my mind.  Why do you visit FrugalDad.com? What separates Frugal Dad from the other personal finance blogs in your reader?  I’m hoping to use your answers to improve my content, design and general concept moving forward.  Don’t worry–no major overhauls are in order, I just thought since my six month blogging anniversary has come and gone it would be a good time to get some feedback.

Why Do I Visit Other Blogs?

I currently have over 125 blogs in my feed reader, and I get a couple of my favorites via email every day (for those days when I just can’t make it to my reader).  The blogs represent a collection of topics of interest to me, and are organized in various folders.  My largest folder (no surprise) is personal finance, but I also have collections such as parenting, blogging/writing, and even a couple sports-related blogs.

Do We Only Read What We Want to Hear?

In my first six months as a blogger I’ve touched a few nerves, and received my share of unfriendly comments and emails. But that’s fine with me.  The world would be awfully boring if everyone agreed with everything each other said.  I personally subscribe to several blogs because I enjoy the writing, or the viewpoint, of 95% of the content.  Occasionally, I read something I don’t agree with, but I actually enjoy that aspect of reading.  In fact, I’ve made it a point to read books, articles and blogs on things I don’t necessarily agree with because it stretches my thinking.  I’m rarely persuaded to change my mind, but reading another point of view helps me constantly challenge my line of thinking on a particular subject.

Reading About Other’s Success Inspires Me

My introduction to blogging occurred when I stumbled upon The Simple Dollar in late 2006.  I was home recovering from rotator cuff surgery and had little to do but surf the web and watch CSI Miami reruns. Over the last couple years I’ve followed Trent’s journey from financial meltdown to accomplished author (yes, he recently signed a book deal and just completed his manuscript).  There are many other great stories out there of people who have overcome large amounts of debt, survived company layoffs, serious health issues, etc.  Their perserverance is what inspires me to keep plowing ahead with my own goal to live completely debt free and move towards financial independence.

I’d appreciate it if you would take a moment or two to leave me a comment.  If there is something you would like me to improve upon, I’d like to hear that, too.  Thanks to those of you who have signed up to receive my daily articles, and to others who stop by during the day to visit.  One of the unanticipated benefits of joining the blogging community has been the opportunity to (virtually) meet many new wonderful people.

Is sneaking in candy to a movie theater being frugal or being cheap (and dishonest)?

I posed that question to the Wise Bread forums a couple weeks ago and received some interesting responses. It seems a majority of people there think the practice is acceptable, as long as there aren’t signs posted specifically forbidding the practice.

I’m interested to get your feedback as well, and I’ll share a few of my thoughts on the subject.

Here’s a copy of my original Wise Bread post:

My wife and I went somewhere last weekend we had not been in a long, long time – a movie theater! I hit the boxed-candy-for-a-dollar section at a nearby Target and picked up a couple boxes of our favorites to “sneak in” the theater. My wife said I was a cheapskate.

Normally, I would thank her for the compliment, but this time her comment had me thinking. Is sneaking in candy to a theater being cheap, or being frugal? I don’t normally think of myself as being cheap, but in this case maybe she’s right. But $3.00 for a box of M&Ms?!

After giving this scenario some thought I’ve come to the conclusion that sneaking candy into the movies is cheap, and possibly dishonest. After all, concessions seem to be where most theaters make their money (along with a percentage from ticket sales). While bringing in your own candy may appear to be a smart frugal move, and it is admittedly much cheaper than buying from the concessions stand, the smarter move would be to simply skip the candy altogether. And if I just had to satisfy a sweet tooth I should suck it up and buy a box of $3.00 M&Ms from the theater.

Some of you are probably shaking your heads wondering how the “Frugal Dad” could come to such a conclusion. Well, maybe it is the eternal capitalist in me that sees that a business has the right to sell refreshments and request outside refreshments not be brought in. After all, if I don’t like that policy I can stay home and wait for the DVD from Netflix.

I also think this folds into my way of thinking – live frugal, but stop to smell the roses. In the grand scheme of things, a box or two of movie candy or a large tub of popcorn is really not going to make or break us. As long as we budget for the expense, and pay cash, there isn’t any reason why I can’t treat the family to a few splurges every now and then.

If you do decide to take in your own candy and snacks it helps if you have an oversized handbag or purse available.

Ask the readers: So what’s your take on this issue, moviegoers?