Language of the Perpetual Poor

Do you know someone who is “perpetual poor?” You know the type - constantly complaining, poor-mouthing, griping about the price of everything and jealous of everything others have. I think we all know at least one or two of those types. I’ve had the displeasure of knowing many, and over time I have heard my share of sob stories related to their personal finances. I recognize that some people are generally down on their luck, or going through a rough patch. Maybe they have faced a debilitating illness, or a job layoff, or some other tragic event that has derailed them from leading successful, productive lives. Those are not the people I am referring to when I attach the label “perpetual poor.”

Perpetual poor people have a language of their own - a way of speaking that almost immediately identifies them as members of this class. When kids are young and they use an inappropriate word parents remind them to “watch their language.” As adults we still need an occasional reminder when we utter a financial expletive. I recognize that the words that follow will likely step on some toes, so put on a pair of steel-toe boots and read on.

“The poor man just can’t get ahead”

Quite possibly my all-time favorite statement of those with a poor attitude. This one is often muttered by someone insecure in their own abilities, and lacking any aspiration to improve their lot in life. They go around knocking “rich” people, minimizing their efforts by insinuating that they are rich because they are lucky, or because their parents were rich. In some cases, both may be true, but the average millionaire in America started with nothing and built a successful career through hard work, dedication and a never-ending willingness to acquire new knowledge. Remember, there are no financial Cinderellas.

How to identify members of this group:

• Can recite the last five winners of American Idle (that’s not a typo) from memory
• Haven’ t picked up a book since high school
• Never stretched to learn a new skill at work, but complain about being passed over for promotions

“We struggle just to make ends meet”

A close cousin of “poor man” who can’t get ahead, this group thinks it could get ahead if it weren’t for a variety of external forces holding them back. Rising gas prices, a shrinking economy, and the President of the United States all conspire to keep them down. They spend up to their income (and then some), save virtually nothing and frequently splurge on unnecessary items because “they deserve it” (see below).

How to identify members of this group:

• They can frequently be spotted moving about new car lots on Sunday afternoons leaving a trail of drool in their wake
• Convenience stores are a hot spot for picking up the weekly supply of beer and cigarettes
• Several times a year their habitats go dark while they retreat to the nearest beach for a much-deserved break

“Everyone has a car payment - it is a fact of life”

Speaking of new car lots, if you manage to run across a member of the perpetual poor species here and asked them to justify their presence you’ll hear that everyone has to have a car payment. They are too expensive to buy with cash! That may be the smartest thing these types will ever admit. New cars are too expensive to buy with cash, that’s why I choose to buy used cars in good mechanical condition and drive them until the lug nuts fall off.

How to identify members of this group:

• The easiest way to spot members of this group is to look around parking lots at crowded shopping malls. They usually park at least 100ft from the building and perpendicular to the parking spot’s stripes, making sure to take up three spots. This is to lessen the chances of dings from car doors and shopping carts. After all, they pay nearly as much for this automobile as they do for their homes so it makes sense to protect such an “investment.”
• Revving engines, sunburned foreheads in convertibles and Mercedes symbol key chains are other common signs

“The only way to get rich in America is to hit the lottery”

Another personal favorite of mine. The lottery is effectively a government sponsored tax on poor people. Don’t believe me? Check out lottery sales by zip code of any participating state and you will discover that the majority of lottery tickets are sold in the poorest sections of town. It is no secret, really. If you are ever around a gas station on Friday night you see them lined up at the counter forking over $20 of their hard-earned paycheck for their chance at financial glory. And just try telling them that $20 a week in a mutual fund averaging 8% growth for 30 years adds up to $130,000. Who can afford to invest in mutual funds?

How to identify members of this group:

• Frequently spotted at convenience stores, bingo halls and anywhere video poker is allowed
• Usually absent one week out of the year for the annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas, Biloxi or Atlantic City
• Excluded from this category: Otherwise financially independent individuals who play the lottery, or bingo as a hobby

“I work hard so I deserve it”

One of the most common statements of the perpetual poor class. These people typically do work hard, but believe their lavish lifestyles are justified because they are such hard workers, as if no one else is out here hustling for a dollar. Perhaps if they “deserved” less they wouldn’t have to work so hard. The fact is there have been many before you, and many who will come after, who have worked much harder, for much longer periods of time without ever getting a break or a material reward. My great-grandmother raised nine children during the depression era, hand-washing cloth diapers for twenty-two years in a row, preparing meals for eleven people from scratch (and not much scratch to work with), and ironing by candle light late into the night. Sitting in an air conditioned office all day playing with computers would have seemed like a vacation to her.

How to identify members of this group:

• Often seen double parked in front of a Best Buy store trying to squeeze a 52″ plasma television into their hatchback.
• Male species frequently spotted driving huge pickup trucks with six tires, dual exhaust, and an ATV loaded in the back.

“You Can’t Take It With You”

A review of the lifetime earnings statement of this class of perpetual poor would reveal lifetime spending well in excess of lifetime earnings, leaving nothing saved for a rainy day or a future retirement. They expect to work late and die young, leaving little reason to save for their golden years. If they should happen to be forced to retire early they will live on social insecurity, complaining about the benefits all the while. No, we can’t take it with us, but we can be responsible adults and save to support our future selves rather than being a financial burden to our loved ones. We can also use the opportunity to help our loved ones, who will become our legacy, get on solid financial footing and continue the tradition of passing generational wealth to the new branches of our family tree.

How to identify members of this group:

• Savings account balance: $52.29
• Retirement Funds: $0.00 (cashed it out after leaving last job to pay off credit card debt)
• Life insurance coverage: $0.00 - can’t afford the premiums

At various points in my life I have probably been a member of each of the above classes, which inherently qualifies me to make fun of them. However, if you find yourself a member of one of the these perpetual poor classes it doesn’t have to be a permanent diagnosis. It is possible to overcome a perpetual poor mentality, but it involves some heavy-duty lifting on our part to rise above our circumstances. It also takes a complete attitude overhaul, so watch your language!

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