When I left my last job I was prepared to receive a counter offer to compete with my new employer’s offer. Unfortunately, I didn’t receive one in the end because my timing was poor - the company was going through layoffs and could ill-afford to boost anyone’s salary, much less an underling such as myself. Of course, the primary reason behind my exit was because of the layoffs so I’m not sure the counter offer would have been successful in continuing my employment. The experience did cause me to stop and reflect on the pros and cons of accepting a counter offer, and as J.D. pointed out in a recent post, one should be prepared for a counteroffer as part of quitting their job gracefully.

If you accept the offer you will be labeled disloyal. Now first of all, I have to admit I don’t buy this idea of undying company loyalty one hundred percent. I do agree that employment is a mutual agreement, and as long as both parties are treating each other with respect the relationship should continue. However, I don’t believe in taking an untenable amount of B.S. in the name of corporate loyalty. Your primary loyalty should be to your family, and your earnings potential and emotional well-being certainly affect your family, and are directly influenced by your employer. If you decide to accept the offer and stay with your current employer, be prepared to defend the reasons you were job hunting in the first place.

Using another offer to leverage your current employer can prove your marketability, but it can backfire. Sometimes employers become complacent and depend on external factors to keep an employee employed. Maybe the employee’s spouse works in the area, or their kids enjoy the local school system, or they recently purchased a new home. The more the employer believes the employee is nailed down the less likely they are to offer a significant raise in the name of retention. That can all change if you present a case that your skills are in demand. An offer from another company is proof positive that you could walk away from your current employer within a two-weeks notice. Assuming you are a valued employee and your current company wants to retain you they could offer to match the offer. Conversely, they could see the approach as a sign of a disloyal employee, hoping to squeeze more pay by presenting another offer. If they call your bluff you have to be prepared to submit the resignation and leave.

If you receive a counter offer and choose to accept it, prepare to eat alone in the company cafeteria. This kind of news never stays completely silent. Invariably, someone will leak the fact that you marched into your boss’ office resignation letter in hand and came out smiling. Other employees may also question your loyalty, and will probably be jealous of your new raise. So now you have managed to increase your salary, but it will be lonely at the top.

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Mornings have now become my favorite time of the day. I enjoy getting up a little early to visit my feed reader and check out all my favorite personal finance blogs. As most of my readers know, one of my favorite blogs in this genre is The Simple Dollar. The other day, Trent posted a thoughtful post in response to a reader comment. The post, “Changing Values, Changing Priorities” was about Trent’s conscious decision to put off his dreams of being a full-time writer to support his family. I just happened to be reading a great book which devotes a chapter to this very subject.

I’m currently reading the book, Your Money or Your Life, which by the way is one of the best financial books I’ve ever read. The book’s author, Joe Dominguez, writes a brilliant chapter on fulfillment. In the beginning of the section he makes a profound statement:

“For many of us…”growing up” has meant outgrowing our dreams.”

Dominguez goes on to explain that most people go through their lives never fulfilling their true passions, because of the “requirement to meet the day-to-day needs” of one’s family. Like Trent, I’ve had to find alternate ways of achieving my dreams outside of a traditional career. I have always enjoyed writing, and this blog provides a forum for me to do so while maintaining a regular, full time job.

So what was your dream growing up? Have you given up on it? Take some time to reflect on what it was you wanted to do when you grew up. If you aren’t fulfilling that dream in your full time job, brainstorm ideas for working toward that goal outside of work. Maybe you wanted to be a teacher, so you could start your own tutoring business. Many people who grew up wanting to be doctors develop successful careers as a physician’s assistant, or a nurse practitioner. At one time I wanted to be a football coach, and I now enjoy coaching youth sports on the weekends.

Some of the most successful entrepreneurs of our time started a part time business in the pursuit of their dreams. So if you have “outgrown” your dream, I encourage you to be a kid again, and use your remaining life energy for that thing you know you were meant to do.

For more information on moving to a more fulfilling career, check out the book 48 Days to the Work You Love.

Technorati Tags: personal finance blogs, Joe Dominguez, fulfillment, dreams, entrepreneurs