photo by tuexperto_com3

Smelling the Roses

A common theme amongst personal finance writers, particularly those who write about frugality, is the constant fear of overpaying, blowing a budget, or buying something frivolous. Conceptually, and financially, these ideas make sense, but not so much in real life. If the only thing you do with your money is save, pay off debt and squeeze every single penny until it screams, eventually you will grow to resent your financial plan (and your family may grow to resent you). I take the advice to “stop and smell the roses” to mean that life is supposed to be enjoyed. We have a finite number of trips around the sun, so why not enoy the ride. That isn’t an invitation to blow everything you earn on season tickets to your favorite baseball team, or to take the European vacation you’ve always dreamed of, but it is an invitation to do a few of those things in moderation.

Make “Fun” Part of the Budget

In a recent article I mentioned the benefits of keeping a “Sunny Day Fund.” This is the opposite of a rainy day fund, which is usually recommended for having a cash cushion when something bad happens. Conversely, a sunny day fund is for the good times. By identifying a few fun things you would like to do you are providing extra incentive to stay on track with your financial plan. After all, if you blow the food budget you may not be able to fund the sunny day fund this month, putting that Disney vacation off another month or two. Here are a few ways to add some “fun” into your budget:

• Solicit feedback from all members of the family. Ask them what they would love to do or have, but haven’t been able to because of worry about money. Last year my wife said she would love to take my daughter to a Hannah Montana concert because she had never been to a concert, and at the time she loved Miley Cyrus. A concert and souvenirs can get pretty expensive, so I was initially put off by worries over the cost of our adventure. However, I remembered the lesson – “smell the roses” – and I agreed to go ahead with the plan. We managed to get tickets rather inexpensively and surprised my daughter with a trip to Atlanta to see Cyrus in concert for her birthday. It was an experience none of us will forget, and I’ve never regretted the expense.
• Set a target date and start saving. My family really wanted a Wii, but we didn’t have the cash for one. We decided as a family it was something we all wanted, and that we would make it a priority in our sunny day fund. Over the next couple months we saved $50 or so a paycheck, plus any “found” money, directly into the sunny day fund. When the balance in the fund had accumulated high enough to buy a Wii and one game we withdrew the money and paid cash for a new Wii. It hasn’t disappointed, and many family fun nights are now centered around Mario Kart.
• Include something for yourself. This sounds dangerously similar to “I work hard so I deserve it.” We all work hard, but you don’t necessarily deserve everything. After all, some things are out of reach based on cost, your income, etc. That’s a fact of life. But there are probably a few things you would really like to have, or to do, that are well within your means. Budget for these items and enjoy.

Having the occasional treat is the key to staying motivated for the long term. “Frugal burnout” leads to spending sprees that can drive you deeper into debt, or deplete savings accounts. Instead of depriving you and your family the occasional fun things, plan for them responsibly and enjoy the memories. After all, memories are the one thing that can’t be purchased.

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photo by blmurch

College Sweethearts

The great thing about this anniversary gift idea is that if you are recreating your first date, and you married young, you are probably reliving a time when you were flat broke (at least that was the case for us). For this reason, the costs to recreate those magical memories should be low. My wife and I met in college and spent nearly two years there together before we both returned to our respective homes to finish school locally. I was no good at long distance dating so instead of relocating I proposed! Thankfully, she said yes.

Back to School

We lined up Grandma to watch the kids and spent the Saturday morning following our anniversary riding over to our old college town (about 2.5 hours away). Besides attending the occasional football game, neither of us had been back after leaving school and it was surprising how much things had changed. My plan was for us to have dinner and then go back to the little hole-in-the-wall place we had an ice cream on our first date there nearly twelve years prior. Unfortunately, the hole-in-the-wall ice cream place was now just a hole in the wall – it was no longer there. Plan B? Find another ice cream place nearby where we enjoyed a peanut butter fudge ice cream from a second floor balcony and watched the sunset over the school’s campus.

“We Feel Old”

If there was any downside to our anniversary trip it was that we felt old strolling around a college campus. We are too young to have kids of our own attending, and too old to be grad students, so we felt a little out of place. Oh well, it was fun to see the old sights and spend time with my former college sweetheart. If any of you have an anniversary coming up I highly recommend a first-date recreation. Go a step further than I did and make sure the place you plan to visit is still there. Nothing kills the mood like finding the place you had your first date reduced to a pile of rubble.

Ask the Readers: What did you do to celebrate your last anniversary?

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Homemade coupon books are an inexpensive way to show your appreciation for loved ones. The design is not as the important as the content here, so don’t fret too much over the type of paper to use, the cover design, etc. Spend your time and energy brainstorming ideas and activities that really make your loved one happy. In a small booklet format, start listing those ideas, one per page. On Valentine’s Day present the homemade coupon book along with the promise to fulfill the coupon when presented. Here are a few ideas that may provide some inspiration:

• Good for One Free Car Wash
• Dad Takes the Kids For One Day
• A One-Hour Massage
• Dad Does the Cooking for One Week
• One “Chick-Flick” Date Night
• Get Out of Doing Dishes for One Week
• Spend One Week With No Television (not eligible for redemption during football season)

Browse Amazon.com for frugal gifts.  Amazon.com has dedicated an entire page to Valentine’s Day gifts, and the best part is you can quickly search for Her/Him by price, meaning you can quickly filter out those non-frugal items.  Then again guys, just this once, you may want to splurge a little.  I do about 90% of my holiday shopping there, including Valentine’s Day.

Plan a picnic. In some parts of the country the weather is nice enough to plan a picnic by February 14. If not, bring a coat and go anyway. Besides, cold weather usually resorts to snuggling, and that’s a good thing on Valentine’s Day. Pick up an inexpensive basket at a flea market or craft store, and prepare an assortment of your loved one’s favorite snacks at home. The menu could be as simple as some fine cheese with crackers, or homemade mini-sandwiches and a small dessert. A quick search for picnic menu ideas yields some great results. Top it off with an inexpensive bottle of wine, or your beverage of choice. Don’t forget at least two blankets (one for the ground, and one for her). Make this a surprise and add to the suspense. Load up the picnic basket ahead of time and then tell your Valentine to dress warm for a surprise date.

Take a day trip. Schedule a vacation day from the office and surprise her with a short day trip to a regional attraction. Make it a fun date – maybe a visit to an aquarium, museum, or even the zoo. Plan ahead by ordering tickets in advance, and be on the lookout for any merchants that offer deals if you buy from them (your Valentine doesn’t have to know). Plan to eat lunch and/or dinner before visiting the attraction because food at entertainment venues is nearly as expensive as movie theater candy.

Bottom line, it is true what they say – it is the thought that counts. You don’t have to go broke showering your Valentine with overly expensive gifts to show your love for them. In fact, gifts from the heart usually mean more to the recipient than something bought at a store, at least they do to us frugal dads.

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