What I have noticed over the years is that our frugality has gone through very distinct phases, nearly coming full circle (but not quite).

We’re Deep In Debt – Time to Cut ALL Spending

A few years ago we found ourselves deep in debt, and decided we’d had enough of sending our paycheck to banks and credit card issuers. I returned to my frugal roots (which I’d lost for much of my 20s, or as I like to call them, my “Spendthrift Years”).

We instantly recognized that to reduce our debts we had to work on both sides of the equation – income and outgo. I also recognized that I couldn’t instantly boost the income side of that equation, but we could make a significant dent in expenses. And make a dent we did.

We canceled the cable. We stopped eating out. We stayed out of stores, movie theaters, and anywhere else that might try to separate us from our money. To us, that money represented something very precious – a debt payment – one step closer to debt freedom.

OK, We Still Have to Have SOME Luxuries

That first phase lasted a good six months. We made significant progress towards debt freedom in that time. Then life happened. My mom had a devastating illness that rattled our family, and after a year of grueling rehabilitation following a stroke, she died at the age of 53. Relatively healthy one week; then in the hospital for 102 days, and rehabilitation for months to follow.

It was a life-altering event for all of us. For me, it was a reminder that life was short. I began to question our radical spending cuts. We weren’t having much fun. The kids missed their favorite television channel. My wife and I missed the occasional dinner out as a break from the routine of cooking and cleaning. We all missed taking an annual vacation (which we had skipped a couple years in a row throughout the ultra-frugal phase).

I felt like a big, mean, financial ogre ruling over the household with an unyielding zeal for frugality.

So, we decided to loosen the tight grip on our finances, just a bit. We did ultimately reach debt freedom, but it probably took a little longer than it would had we continued our Spartan existence.

Debt Freedom – Ready to Spend Again

Once we reached debt freedom, we went a little bit nuts. Seriously. We made up for our lack of vacations with a trip to Disney World – the first for our kids. There wasn’t very much frugal about that trip, but we decided our first visit would be a fun one without much consideration to costs. Admittedly, this strategy was not financially smart in hindsight.

In the coming months we also did a little clothes shopping, and spent money on a few other things that had been put off for months (even years). I’m not proud of that time, because looking back, it was sort of antithetical to everything I’ve written here at Frugal Dad. Again, what can I say, I’m human.

That Was Fun, Now Back to Frugality

I guess the major difference in the old me and the new me was that this time around it was much easier to recognize my spendthrift ways and get control of them. Rather than putting everything on a credit card (which has a way of really adding up), we decided to go back to an all-cash basis, with the occasional debit card purchase.

We took a more frugal vacation this fall, spending a week in the mountains and enjoying the peace and quiet (a much different setting than Disney). We clip the occasional coupon, order water with our meals and split the occasional entree. We’d rather stay in and watch a movie than go to the theater. We look for sales to proactively buy seasonal clothing for the kids. You know, the little frugal moves that don’t cause much pain, but still help keep that expense side of the equation from creeping up to high.

I’ve learned many lessons over the last few years, but this last one was the most important. Being able to recognize when you are off track and make small course corrections is really a key to financial success.

The old me would have never recognized I was off track, and if I did, I would have just floored the accelerator into the nearest wall. I lacked the financial maturity (and I’m not referring to age) to keep myself in check.

So I’d encourage you to celebrate milestones, like reaching debt freedom, with a little spending splurge. Do something you’ve been longing to do, but put off because you were in debt. Upgrade an item or two around your home that adds value to your life.

Should that spending slope begin to feel like a slippery one, remember what it felt like to be in debt and adopt our family motto, “Never again!”

This brilliant animated moment illustrates the fact that all of us have choices – about how we spend our time, and our money. We may not want to believe it, but we are in full control of the choices we make.

Just About Everything We Do or Don’t Do is of Our Choosing

Sometimes it feels like we have very few choices. Maybe because circumstances have us pinned down in our current job, or we owe too much money to make a move, etc. But the simple act of getting up and going to work is a choice.

Unless you live under communist rule, you still have a choice whether or not you get up in the morning and head to the office, and you have a choice regarding your place of employment. Accepting that can actually make bad jobs feel more tolerable.

You might even have this little conversation with yourself in the company parking lot tomorrow morning: “Yes, my job stinks, but I am choosing to go back in and put in a full day’s work.”

Thank God it’s Friday! Oh God it’s Monday!

I was once stuck in a bad job in a toxic environment – I mean really toxic. I was stressed out, burned out, and basically fed up with my job. And then in a moment of clarity it occurred to me that I was making a choice every day to get up and go to work.

Sure, I would be fired if I didn’t go. My family would lose our employer’s health insurance. A steady paycheck would cease to be deposited in my bank account. Our bills wouldn’t get paid and we would probably lose our car, our home and our other belongings. All those things were negative consequences of my decision not to go to work, but I still made the choice.

Essentially, I was choosing to exchange my time in a lousy job for pay, benefits and the ability to keep our stuff.

These same lessons apply to our finances. I’ve known many couples over the years who have been envious of my wife’s position as a stay-home mom. It does not come without sacrifice. However, my wife and I agreed early in our marriage that she would stay home with our kids until they were school age or beyond.

The cost of daycare and employment-related expenses would make breaking even difficult, and getting further ahead nearly impossible. I chose to drive an older vehicle for many of those early years, took my lunch to work nearly every day and we both gave up many costly hobbies and collections so my wife could stay home. She has put her educational and career goals on hold for the same. We made a choice.

Life’s Too Short to Spend It Being Miserable

If you are stuck in a dead end job, or are working just to make a car payment, consider setting yourself free by giving up some of life’s luxuries.

Consider a mother of two paying $800 a month in daycare expenses for her three year-old and a newborn. At $20 an hour it will take over 40 hours of work each month just to pay for childcare expenses (actually, it will take about 55 hours when you factor her household’s earnings are in the 28% tax bracket).

Then factor in the cost of a work wardrobe, a car, higher maintenance costs on that car, gasoline, eating out, etc. and suddenly you realize that mom is simply working to pay for the pleasure of working. Seems illogical doesn’t it, assuming she would rather stay at home and raise her kids?

I certainly don’t begrudge couples who agree to both spouses working. I was raised by a single mother who didn’t have a choice. However, if given the choice, I would always vote for mom or dad staying home with the kids, particularly if it was something they always dreamed of doing.

I would now encourage you to reflect on the goals you have sacrificed because you feel financial pressure to stay in a bad job. Sell the car. Cancel the gym membership. Move to a cheaper place. Stop eating out. Make the tough choices now so you can spend your remaining life energy doing the things that are most important to you.

In fact, politicians probably do a better job (or worse, in this case) of spending other people’s money than anyone. I’ve even known some churches to operate this way, as well, with a church board or council quick to drive a congregation deep into debt by expanding their building, and then using tithes to serve interest payments on the debt.

This seems to be the ultimate hypocrisy to me, which is probably why I will never be asked to serve on any church boards!

I am frugal by nature, and save a few luxuries, don’t spend a lot of money on myself. But I am much more frugal with other people’s money.

I would much rather work in a spartan office than a lavish one.
I don’t expect a company to pay for my personal expenses that I’d have to pay anyway if I didn’t work there.

I have a theory that the less people have to work for the money they get to spend, the less frugal they are spending that money.

In other words, the general contractor out the door at 6:30am and hustling until dark to renovate properties for a living will be much more careful with his expenditures than a government agency funded by tax payers’ money negotiated by a 3rd-party lobbyist.

The Company Men

The other day I was home sick with a touch of flu. The only bright spot was getting to catch up on a couple movies. I didn’t remember hearing about The Company Men when it was released, but the cast seemed good and I liked the storyline.

The movie’s plot is taken directly from the headlines around the beginning of the financial crisis back in 2008. A large conglomerate with divisions in manufacturing, ship-building, healthcare, etc. is looking for ways to boost their stock price and turns to massive layoffs as a way to reduce costs.

While I understand layoffs are sometimes necessary to survive a downturn, or to eliminate “unnecessary reduncancies,” I think it should be a last resort. In the movie, the company’s CEO is in the middle of purchasing a renovating a new corporate high-rise, complete with an “executive” floor dedicated to the CEO/CFO offices, etc. He runs down the list of lavish amenities just after agreeing to lay off another 5,000 employees.

Related Reading: How to Survive a Layoff

I suppose some level of greed is part of human nature. Or maybe it is true that power does corrupt. Regardless, I think we all have a responsibility to be good stewards of money, especially money that doesn’t inherantly belong to us.

Do your frugal ways carry over to the office?

First of all, making homemade chicken soup is a tremendously rewarding exercise in frugality. After basing two dinners around the whole roasted chicken, amply rounded out with vegetable side dishes, the remainder is ready for the soup pot. I throw everything– bones, skin and all–into the pot.

Picking Sides

Extravagant vs. Frugal vs. Spartan

My response to most of these types of “ways to save” articles is to immediately find myself disagreeing with the author’s chosen categories to cut. No, not the gym membership! Or, is a latte a day really going to kill your budget?

However, in this case, I thought the author made a few important points in line with my way of thinking, and living, frugally. For instance, the excerpt below is a hot topic in the Frugal household: dining out.

Whether we are debating eating dinner out or staying in, or my daily challenge to brown bag a lunch rather than hit the drive-thru, food expense is a budget buster in our family. I suspect that is true in most families these days thanks to our compressed schedules and ever-rising food inflation.

Here’s what Shauna had to say on the subject of eating out:

With a family of five, I don’t always feel like cooking. On those nights, Taco Bell or McDonald’s comes in handy. Even when I indulged a few times a week, I wasn’t spending boatloads of money. I’d buy the multipack of tacos or chicken nuggets, designed to feed five on a budget. However, shelling out $20 twice a week meant I was spending $2,080 a year. How did I fix it? When I cooked, I would make and freeze a couple of extra meals for those nights when I didn’t feel like cooking.

A perfect example of someone making a relatively small shift in their way of doing things to produce a frugal outcome.

Not all shifts produce giant returns like choosing to stay home rather than eat out. Hanging a load of towels and jeans on a drying rack, or even better, on a clothesline outside, might only save you a couple bucks in energy costs over running the dryer. But it’s the cumulative savings that add up.

Staying in for dinner, line-drying heavy clothes, drinking water instead of soda, and yes, even skipping the daily latte (I prefer to make things like this a once-a-week treat rather than eliminating them altogether), all add up to big savings over time. But do these cost-saving measures come at a cost as well.

The Costs of Being Ultra-Frugal

Declining lunch invitations all the time might cause you to miss opportunities to network with coworkers (read the book Never Eat Alone for more thoughts on the subject).

Habitually skipping a few indulgences may cause you to binge on them at some point and blow more than you’ve saved by being ultra-disciplined. For instance, consider the over-used diet analogy. Those trying to lose weight are often encouraged to have a small piece of cake occasionally, because depriving yourself for too long breeds internal resentment, and at some point you’re defenses will weaken and you’ll down half a cake in one sitting.

Living frugal is about making small course corrections over time that eventually add up.

• Check out books at the library and only buy those you know you’ll want to refer back to in the future.
• Skip the weekly trip to the movie theater and instead make it a once-a-month treat for your family.
• Bring your lunch to work four days a week, then splurge a little and eat out with your team on Fridays.
• Schedule a “date night” out every couple weeks to give yourselves a break from the cooking/cleaning routine, but consider splitting a meal to reduce costs.
• Avoid debt, and associated interest, by saving cash for large purchases. You’ll appreciate them more after waiting a few months and debt-free ownership usually leads to more happiness with the product over time.

Those are just a few things our family has been trying to do to move towards a more frugal existence.

What are some small course corrections you’ve been making to live more frugally?

I acknowledged to myself during one early morning sunrise viewing that even though I had persevered through those tough couple years, in many ways, I am the same person, with many of the same tendencies (good and bad) as I was in my spendthrift days.

The aforementioned brilliant sunrise that inspired my reflective mood, and ultimately, this post

Sure, I had successfully managed to suppress that side of my personality, but it was still there, waiting to rise up like a dormant virus looking for a weakened immune system.

After getting out of debt, my immediate mission was clear – building emergency savings. However, over time I’ve given into more frivolous spending than I care to admit. We have not accumulated new debt, but the opportunity cost of higher spending has been a slower savings rate the first half of this year than I would like.

Living Frugal is a Way of Life, Not a Short-term Diet Plan

All this brought me to a realization – I need more frugal outlets, more ways to spend my time that don’t cost a lot of money (or in fact, save money). On the surface, I enjoy frugal activities as much as the next person. The problem is, I don’t make them a regular part of my daily routine.

For instance,

• I’ll get on a reading “kick,” check out a small pile of books from the library, and never finish them.
• I’ll build a coupon binder and start collecting the weekly coupon booklets, but never use them.
• I planted a square foot garden this year, but have neglected it.

It’s not that I necessarily dislike doing any of these frugal activities (well, I do admit, I don’t enjoy organizing the coupons – there, I said it!), it’s just that I can’t seem to find a groove and engage in these types of things day in and day out.

Instead, I often resort to watching mindless television, or browsing Amazon.com for “deals” on things I don’t really need, or wanting just to grab lunch out rather than brown-bagging it.

It’s almost as if I have two personalities – frugal and anti-frugal. Remember the old cartoons with the angel on one side and the devil on the other, tempting someone to do something wrong? That’s me. Only the devil is holding a credit card instead of a pitchfork!

So, I’ve decided that some people are just born frugal, while others have to acquire a taste for it. Much like some people are “born leaders,” but others develop leadership skills over the years.

Our upbringing, and a variety of external factors mold us into who we are today. I’ve had great role models, but they spanned the frugal scale. It seems I inherited much of the good, and some of the bad.

New Beginnings: Finding Contentment in Frugal Hobbies

Certain frugal activities just seem to come easy to certain people. Quite often, the common thread running through these naturally-frugal folks is contentment – they are just plain happy with what they have.

That isn’t to say the less frugal are necessarily ungrateful, but we often struggle to find balance between being content with what we have while giving into the temptations for newer shiny toys.

I plan to start adding in new frugal activities that I find enjoyable, and making them part of my routine. For instance, I need to get back to walking 10,000 steps a day, for the many health benefits, and because I generally like being outside. Other than a good pair of shoes, I need no fancy equipment to walk.

I’d like to start reading again, but maybe I’ll try a new genre and avoid the heavy, non-fiction material I’ve tried to work through in the past. Anyone read a good book lately?

My coupon strategy has to adapt, too. I’ll still look through the paper for coupons, and will use them when available for something I already planned to buy, but I won’t plan our entire meals around only items for which I have a coupon. That often requires us to eat things we don’t particularly like, or aren’t the healthiest choice.

Now, I have to run – time to clean up that garden!

Many of you may be familiar with Dave Ramsey. Jason has spoken about his financial philosophies, strategies for getting out of debt and establishing wealth here.

I’m also a fan of his work.  And as a health coach, I’ve found that his underlying financial perspectives are true for other areas of your life, most specifically getting out of poor health and into a rich life of sustainable, vibrant health.

Here are the 5 core lessons on financial peace that Dave Ramsey teaches which have clear correlations to healthy living as well.

1. Debt is Slavery

Dave often says that living in financial debt is like slavery. Every minute you work, that money earned is not your own, you’ve already sold it off.

Many moms I work with have the distinct experience of energy debt: the feeling of drain, exhaustion, and depletion throughout their day. They become addicted to energy crutches like too much caffeine or sugar just to get through the day. And these “crutches” actually keep us in a constant state of exhaustion and overwhelm because we are not tapping into true and sustainable sources of energy.

They are like the quick fixes (akin to credit cards) that give us an illusion that we are getting by, but in fact just under the surface we are falling farther and farther into poor health.
Establishing healthy and natural sources of gaining energy is a primary foundation of healthy, vibrant living.

2. Lasting, Permanent Change Takes Time

When you are interested in a monumental, sustainable shift in your lifestyle (whether it is getting out of debt or experiencing whole-person vital health), the truth is that change takes time. Dave’s work encourages making and keeping a budget, which takes a few months of testing things out, tweaking, and refining until a working system is in place that can begin to run smoothly.

And it’s the same with establishing wellness systems in your life. Eating healthy foods, caring for your emotional and mental health, nourishing your spiritual needs and tending to your self care needs must be part of a plan that works within the life you live.
And that wellness plan needs to go through a period of experimenting, testing, refining, and tweaking too. One size does not fit all.

If you want true health with freedom from the yo-yo dieting experience, you’ll have to take the time to come to know your unique needs, read the language of your own body, and creatively put that information into concrete and practical strategies that work in the life you lead right now.

3. You Are the Captain of the Ship

Dave makes it clear you must tell your money what to do in order for your money to work for you.

Likewise, in order to make your health and well being a priority, you’ll have to get used to telling your time what to do.

Trying to “fit in” aspects of health living is just not realistic in most of our lives. We may have good intentions, but it is essential to establish a clear plan for when and how we will do the things that we need in order to stay well.

From the start of your week or day, telling your time what to do, means you won’t be wasting time…which of course shouldn’t be confused with simply having down time. In fact, I’ve found that scheduling in proper down time helps me actually take it and benefit from it, without the sense that time is just slipping by and I’m still left feeling frazzled and scattered.

4. Go for Early Successes

Part of Dave’s program is to hit your debt with a snowball effect, and to start chipping away at the smallest debt you have so you can experience initial success and keep your motivation going. I’ve found the same is true for our health.

When we feel our long term health goals are too lofty and daunting then it is hard to keep motivated. But establishing smaller, short terms goals so you can feel the rush of accomplishment and success is essential to staying steadily on the path you want to be on.

It’s a basic principle I come back to that small, simple, and consistent steps in the right direction yield huge, powerful rewards. The magic bullet claims and quick fixes only serve as distractions that ultimately keep you stuck in the same place over time.

“Small steps, big results” is what my weekly email program called The Ripple is all about–if you aren’t on my list yet, you can get on here for free.

5. Common sense is the new sexy.

The principles of handling your money well that Dave shares are really time tested, traditional principles.

Steady and responsible movement toward real change is the fastest path to producing major rewards and reaching your goals.

Though the common sense banner doesn’t feel as sexy amidst all the glitz and buzz we are flooded with daily…I tend to think what is really sexy is great results that last and make a huge impact in your life.

We both agreed that new cars and trucks were harder to work on, but a lot of that was because we haven’t updated our mechanic skills since helping our grandfathers change spark plugs many years ago.

Looking back, it is remarkable how many things people used to do themselves. I remember my grandfather changing his own oil, shingling his house (even into his 60s), insulating his attic, installing new windows, laying tile, carpet, etc.

Now days, very few of us are fit to handle similar tasks (myself included). I’m actually a little bit ashamed of that. While fairly handy, there are several types of jobs I just can’t do.

Because I’ve never been a “car guy,” I wouldn’t consider myself mechanical. I’m terrified of anything electrical, though I did manage to tackle installing a programmable thermostat a couple years ago. I enjoy making sawdust, but wouldn’t have the foggiest clue how to actually build something beyond a very basic construction.

The root problem with all of this lack of hands-on education is that it costs us money. Any time something breaks, or you have an idea to build or replace something, you have to search Angie’s List or the Yellowpages for a reputable contractor or repairman. I’d much rather order a part online and make the fix myself.

How do we learn to become more self-sufficient? Well, since most of us are not born with natural instincts to find our way around an engine, or an attic, it’s probably a good idea to learn from the experts. Here’s a few ideas.

Hover Over the Repairman

My grandfather used to do this and it drove my grandmother crazy! I can hear her now, “Quit hovering over that nice man and let him do his job.” I suppose it was a little annoying to the repairman, but my grandfather was actually watching (and learning) so he could make the repair next time.

Go Back to Shop Class

My high school offered a wood working shop class, which I very much enjoyed. However, they did not offer a course in mechanics, which I very much needed. I can perform basic maintenance and repairs on my truck, but would like to learn more.

Many technical schools offer a course in engine repair, mechanics or similar. This could be a great way to expand your knowledge of mechanics to the point where you can fix your own car or lawn tractor the next time it won’t run properly.

Attend Workshops at Lowes and Home Depot

Most Saturday mornings, Lowes and Home Depot offer home improvement project workshops for anyone interested in attending. Recent workshops have taught customers how to winterize their home, install new countertops and how to inexpensively paint interior rooms.

Bonus: These two stores often offer kids workshops where you can bring your kids in and help them with a child-friendly project such as building a bird house, or a gift for mom closer to Mother’s Day.

Ask a Neighbor for Help

I was not blessed with a green thumb, but I have discovered a passion for growing fruits and vegetables. What started out as a small, square foot garden two years ago, should grow to a much larger, in-ground square foot garden this spring. In fact, in just a couple months I’ll be constructing the boxes and beginning to layout the new garden.

One thing I’ve learned about gardening is there is much to learn about different crops, planting times, harvesting times, watering schedules, etc. Several friends and neighbors have gardens, and this year I’m thinking of asking for a garden “consultation” from people who have had successful gardens for many years. I’ve found most gardeners are happy to share a few secrets with someone genuinely interested in learning.

To do this, you have to first get over the fear of asking for help (men are particularly affected by this). We don’t want to be a bother, or we are just too proud to ask for help, so we go it alone and spend twice as much time, money and energy trying to fix something our neighbor could show us how to fix in twenty minutes.

Hopefully, the end result of acquiring these new skills is that you can begin to do things for yourself, rather than having to rely on someone else. Then, you can begin to pass this knowledge on to children and grandchildren to continue a legacy of self-sufficiency that will serve future generations for many years.

Whether you’re just getting started on a home office layout, or are in need of a little refreshing of your space, being a frugal dad on a budget doesn’t have to mean that you have an inefficient or uninspiring home office. A productive environment is essential for success. If you’ve ever spent half an hour looking for one single piece of paper, then you know what I mean! Paper trails can be important, so keep everything nicely organized and filed away.

You have to create a plan for your home office, and stick to the budget. There’s no need to compromise on either luxury or quality either. Be smart when you shop for goods and then you’ll have the comfortable feeling of spending enough, yet have left over funds that can provide a nice little cushion. There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t find the right computer, equipment, office desk, chair, and other office furnishings all within budget.

1. Get out a tape measure and plot out your space.

You might have been congratulating yourself on having found a really cheap office desk, but if you are unable to get it down a set of stairs, up a set of stairs, or it’s sticking out from a niche which is just too small to take it, then it’s money down the drain.

2. Get back to the basics in your thinking.

Grab your essentials and go from there. Make a priority list for all purchases and defer, even for a little while, the non-essentials. Your basic home office is your desk, chair, shelves, computer, and printer.

3. Be your own handyman.

What you can do yourself, will save you a lot of money. If it involves electrical, it’s best to call in a professional. If you’re a licensed electrician, you’ll save a lot of money! Often, stores will assemble furniture for you, so just ask.

4. Pick it up yourself.

If you have a big enough vehicle you could take furniture home yourself. If not, then strike a bargain with the store and you’ll either be able to get it delivered free, or at a deep discount. You can make this a part of your purchasing process. If they don’t want to sell the item, then walk away.

5. Check the Internet for bargains.

You can buy second hand pieces at retail, but you can also save money buying new furniture from the WWW. Discount office desks can be found without too much trouble on-line and most Internet-based reputable companies will give you free delivery as well as hassle free returns. If they don’t, buy it somewhere else!

6. Do your décor yourself.

Put up a few paintings that you like and be sure and get at least one live plant. Check out your light situation first, because all plants need some kind of light to grow, unless they’re fungus. Of course, you may love mushrooms!

7. Put up do-it-yourself shelving.

A lot of shelves and shelving units come in do-it-yourself kits. This means that all the screws, latches, and other things are in one handy place. Just be sure you don’t throw it into the garbage can by mistake. Dedicate an afternoon to assembling, dusting off, and placing your home office furniture.

8. Browse flea markets and garage sales.

You might be very surprised at what you can find in the way of office furniture and shelving. A few licks of paint, and it’ll be as good as new!

9. Barter or trade.

You could do this with neighbours, by looking online, or checking out stuff for sale at the library or at the local shop.

10. Accessories need coordination.

There is a difference between an eclectic décor and a junkie one. Make your home office space as inviting and comfortable as you can. Keep colours to two or three, or even a neutral tone with punches of colour here and there.

11. Go to auctions.

These are fun events and a way to get a good bargain in an office desk or chair. You kind of have to go with an “as is” frame of mind. Check your local newspapers and notices for time and location.

12. Shop for discounts on computer equipment.

Check out electronics stores over a period of a couple of weeks, and especially around holiday time. Often, their online prices are cheaper than in the actual store itself. Many will price match so look online first at home, print out the ad, and take it with you to the store. It’s best to buy new electronic equipment, so that you’ll know it’ll work.

Don’t forget to make a list and plot out your new office before you start. It will then be a calm, cool, and collected process, and you’ll have a little money left over in your bank account.