The blogger behind Budgets are Sexy once asked if a you had to “have a story” to be a respected personal finance blogger. It was an interesting question on many different levels. I reflected on the number of times I’ve told pieces of my own story here at Frugal Dad, and in my personal life with friends and family, particularly my kids. While I don’t think a story is required to share inspiring thoughts with others, I do think it helps others relate to you.

Without a compelling story you might sound a little like the friend that likes to give marriage advice, but she’s never tied the knot. Or the couple that raise their eyebrows when you discipline your kids, but they never had children. Does that mean people who don’t have kids don’t have valuable things to say about how to raise children? Not necessarily, but it does make it difficult for parents to see them as a credible source of information.

Those examples might be a bit of a stretch. After all, personal finance is a bit of a different animal. One of my favorite writers, Jim Wang from Bargaineering, shares many excellent thoughts on managing money, including getting out of credit card debt. However, he admits that he has never had credit card debt. Does that mean I shouldn’t listen to his advice? Absolutely not. In fact, I’d be doing myself a disservice by not absorbing the information he shares on his blog.

Dave Ramsey is one of my favorite personal finance personalities, mostly because I find his life story compelling. He reached millionaire status early in life in leveraged real estate, lost it all through bankruptcy, and rebuilt his wealth by implementing the debt-free principles he lives by today. My guess is Dave Ramsey would not be as popular as he is without the fact he hit rock bottom at some point during his life. This helps him relate to others in similar situations, and provides them hope that they too can turn around their lives.

Does this mean if you hope to inspire others you should go bankrupt to be more credible? No. It means you should look at your own background, your own life story, to find your testimony. Everyone has some type of challenge in their life, and chances are they aren’t alone. Even those struggling with the rarest medical conditions find comfort in linking up with those dozen others in the world also diagnosed. Technology has made that possibility through applications such as Facebook, Twitter, and blogs.

If you have an interest in writing, or doing video blogs, or your own radio show, I would encourage you to give it a try even if you feel you have an inadequate testimony. Whatever you decide to share, be honest with people. You might just find an audience out there for people who have never really struggled with money, but are more interested in the advanced personal finance concepts beyond building savings and getting out of debt.

Disclaimer: I am not writing this article as a way to insult people or imply that I am somehow superior to them. I am writing this as a way to share my life journey in hopes of inspiring people to accomplish their own goals. Am I better than anyone else for the things I have done in my life? No. That is not what this is about. It is about making changes in order to become the person you hope to be. It is about being proactive in your life to make those changes possible.

When the going gets tough, the tough get…no, that’s not reality. In reality, when things get hard people quit. They give up. Instead of breaking a sweat, shedding a tear or losing a little blood they take the easy route and do nothing. It is easier to accept defeat & tell yourself that it is too hard, that you aren’t smart enough, you aren’t pretty enough, strong enough. For every inaction we find an excuse that will suit our situation. Hell, we may even convince ourselves.

It is time to stop making excuses. It is time to quit being a quitter. It is time to get off your ass and do something with your life. Yes, you might struggle. You might feel pain. You may even cry but if you don’t do something with your life why are you even here? It is time to start living. It is time to stand up and punch life in the face.

Too often we accept our lives the way they are, even if we aren’t happy with them. We are miserable at work, our relationship with our spouse sucks, our kids hate us, we waste our time doing absolutely nothing. Our joy in life is derived from a bottle; we can’t even relax without a glass of wine to settle ourselves. This is our life and it sucks.

When I was 16 years old I was a loser. My life was consumed with drugs and alcohol. If I wasn’t high or drunk I was in the process of getting there. Two days after I turned 18 I was arrested. I had just gotten high a few minutes before being handcuffed & taken to jail. I spent that night in my cell thinking about where my life had gone wrong and how I was going to change it.

I realized that I was screwing up my life. It wasn’t only the drugs and alcohol that were the problem. I was wasting my time. I couldn’t turn the clock back and recapture those years. They were gone and there was no getting them back.

In order to change my life I had to turn my back on everything and everyone. This was hard for me. It meant losing friends. It meant making major changes in my life. I had created a lifestyle for myself and people expected me to be that person. For a while I struggled to get sober. I didn’t want to disappoint my friends when they wanted to get high with me. Eventually I came to realize that I needed to change my life for me and not live my life as a consequence of other people.

Once I figured this out I made the changes I needed. I quit drinking and doing drugs entirely. I have been clean for almost 9 years.

What does all of this have to do with you? Maybe you don’t drink or get high but I have no doubt that you are wasting your life with things that are just as stupid; video games, television, Internet, gambling, celebrities, work…anything that takes time away from the person you want to become deep down inside.

It is so much easier to do nothing than to do something. If I hadn’t been arrested and had the time to sober up and reflect on where my life had come and where I was going maybe I wouldn’t have changed. I wouldn’t have traveled around the country and now the world. I would probably still be sitting in my bedroom taking hits from my bong and eating Milk Duds watching the world move around me.

Get off your ass and grab life by the balls. Do something that you’ve always wanted to do but have told yourself you “couldn’t,” for whatever reason. Stop lying to yourself. Life will go on with or without you. Just remember that you can never make up for lost time. Never.

Note from Frugal Dad: One of the greatest things about blogging is forming friendships with other bloggers like Steven who have overcome so much to lead successful lives. For me, their stories are an inspiration, and a reminder that none of us have to be victims of our circumstances.

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.” -Proverbs 19:20

The weakest part of each person is where he or she thinks himself or herself the wisest. In the words of the great basketball coach John Wooden, “It’s what we learn after we think we know it all that really counts.” Those who are teachable and continually seek to improve and grow rarely contract the disease of pride.

Benjamin Franklin taught, “An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest” (Complied by Rev. Frederick S. Sill, A Year Book of Colonial Times, (New York: E.P. Dutton and Company, 1906) p. 15). Education and transportation are tools that get us to our destination. Over the years transportation has moved from the horse and buggy to trains, cars, and airplanes. Each new mode of transportation has enabled us to reach our destination in a shorter period of time. In the 1800s it took months to cross the plains to the west. Today, with improved tools, we can make the same journey in a matter of hours. Education is also a tool that can speed up your journey to financial independence and prosperity. Studies of those with a high net worth have revealed that they spend significant time each month on financial education (Thomas J. Stanley, William D. Danko, The Millionaire Next Door, (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1996) p. 48, 71).  Studies also show there is direct correlation between the amount of time spent on financial education and net worth. The more you learn, the more you earn.

General Edward Braddock

During the French and Indian War, the British General Edward Braddock, age 60 at the time, employed the help of a Virginia militia. When one of the young 23-year-old Virginian soldiers who was well acquainted with the Indian mode of warfare modestly offered his advice, the haughty Braddock said, “What! An American buskin teach a British General how to fight!” (B.J Losing, Signers of the Declaration of Independence, (New York: George F. Colledge & Brother, 1848) p. 167). Braddock did not heed the advice and the British suffered a disastrous defeat and General Braddock was wounded by a shot through the right arm and into his lung. Following the injury to General Braddock, that same 23-year-old, with no official position in the chain of command, was able to lead and maintain some order and formed a rear guard, which allowed them to evacuate and eventually disengage. This earned him the title of “Hero of the Monongahela.” General Braddock was carried off the field by George Washington, the soldier whose advice he had rejected. Braddock died on July 13, 1755, four days after the battle. Before he died, Braddock left Washington the blood stained sash of his uniform. Washington carried the sash with him for the remainder of his life. Perhaps he carried the sash as a reminder of the cost of pride and of the necessity of being humble and teachable if he was to be successful in his efforts. Had Braddock listened to the advice of young George Washington, his life may have been saved.

George Washington was teachable and spent time each day reading. During his lifetime, Washington accumulated a library of more than 700 books, a great many which he studied closely. Washington’s step-granddaughter, Nelly Custis, wrote to one of Washington’s early biographers saying, “It was his custom to retire to his library at nine or ten o’clock, where he remained an hour before he went to his chamber. He always arose before the sun, and remained in his library until called to breakfast.”

This was a guest post by Cameron C. Taylor, author of the book Does Your Bag Have Holes? 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom. www.DoesYourBagHaveHoles.org

I’d like to dedicate a post to expanding on an idea I mentioned in last week’s post, A Frugal Diet, Or A Frugal Lifestyle – a follow up of a follow up, if you will.  I mentioned in that post that a reader’s comment sort of splashed cold water on me, waking me from a slumber I had been enjoying most of this year.

During that time we have been relaxing the constraints on our budget.  Our debt repayment progress had slowed.  Our savings balances weren’t growing.  Money was leaking out of our checking account at a faster rate than it had in previous months.  What was the cause of this return to indifferent spending?  Complacency.

When the Going Gets Tough, So Do We

Back when we reached our financial bottom it was easy to get fired up about turning around our finances.  Mostly because finances seemed to dominate our every thought.  It kept me awake at night, and it was the first thing I worried about when I woke up.  It drove many of our decisions, and removed many options from our lives.  It was easy to get mad at the debt that hung over us, and it was easy to stick to our guns when faced with decisions to spend or save.

I’ve never been really good and doing two things at once.  Some people are natural multitaskers, and on the day-to-day stuff I do a pretty good job.  But where I fail is the big stuff.  For instance, I’ve lamented before how hard it is to lose weight and pay off debt.  Even though there seems to be a natural correlation to the two goals, I can’t seem to pull them off at the same time.  I can either get really fired up about losing weight and drop a few pounds, or I can get really fired up about paying off debt and lower our balances.  But when I do one or the other, the other goal suffers, or at best treads water until i again refocus my energy.

When Things Get Easier, So Do We

There comes a time in any financial turnaround when things begin to look up.  Maybe you’ve paid off that car loan, or a couple credit cards, and increased your disposable income thanks to reduced monthly debt payments.  Maybe you’ve also managed to pick up a side hustle, or added some overtime to your schedule, or received a promotion and increased your income.  Suddenly you find yourself not struggling quite as hard to keep your head above water.  It is as if someone is draining the pool for you, and all of a sudden you can touch your toes.  Ah…it feels good to stop flailing your arms and legs and simply relax for a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, these new feelings are a sign of progress and should be celebrated.  However, some healthy reservation is also required.  This is the same point many turnarounds have been foiled.  Think of the dieter who works out and eats right for six weeks and drops 25 pounds.  They are elated, and for good reason.  To celebrate they go out to eat something they haven’t had in a while.  And since they already blew it at dinner, that late-night ice cream won’t hurt.  And since they blew the whole night they’ll just sleep in the next morning instead of hitting the gym.  I’ll just get back on track on Monday.  You see how this can be a very slippery slope!

How To Fight Complacency While Celebrating Success

If we know that this new-found success ultimately leads to complacency, what can we do to head it off?  I would recommend allowing yourself some non-guilty pleasure not related to your ultimate goal.  For a dieter this might mean the accomplishment of a weight-loss goal is celebrated with a new dress.  For those of us working to turnaround our finances, maybe this means an increase to something that brings enjoyment, but does not cost any money.  For instance, families may agree to allow each other more time to devote to something they enjoy – exercise, hiking, learning a musical instrument, etc.

Whatever you decide, do not allow yourself to slip back into the same bad habits.  And if you feel those bad habits creeping back in, stop and reasses your situation.  Call a time out and lock yourself in a room to balance your checkbook, update your budget and take an inventory of your debts.  Don’t spend the entire time beating yourself up for making a mistake.  After all, money mistakes make us human, and they only become failures when they are repeated.  Remember the things that motivated you in the first place, and rededicate your life energy towards accomplishing those goals.

2009 is now about 45 days old, so I thought I would put together a brief checkup on where I stand with my goals for 2009.  To be brutally honest, I’m not doing that well.

Some of the early struggles have been influenced by outside events, and some is attributable to my just plain being lazy.  For those who have been following for a while, you may remember that my mom suffered a life-threatening aneurysm and stroke last fall.  She had a setback recently and is currently hospitalized.  When things like that happen it makes tracking blogging income seem trivial, but in some ways it motivates me even more so that I can be there to help my mom when she needs it.  That is what family is about, and that’s why I am thankful I started blogging when I did.

Goal One:  Downsizing Our Home

We’ve decided to sit tight on this one, despite my desire to lessen the mortgage payment and cull some of our stuff.  We are considering a way to accomplish both without moving by refinancing with a little money down, and having a massive spring cleaning over the next few weeks.

Whether or not we refinance depends on a number of factors including my mom’s health (we live very close now, and would be reluctant to move if she needs our help, long-term), our local economy (the money we would use to refi might be better off stashed away in our emergency fund), and things like school zoning and a few other minor considerations.

We will probably stay put through this summer and reevaluate this goal later in the year.  However, we still plan to get rid of some of the stuff occupying our space and cluttering our lives.  I’ve come to really enjoy giving things away and having yard sales, something I’m told terrifies a scrabooking wife with a small fortune invested over the years in various supplies!  It’s okay honey, I promise not to toss anything scrapbook-related if you promise not to mess with my unsightly collection of scrap wood.  After all, some things are simply “off limits!”

Goal Two: Wake Up At 4:30AM

Remember the part where I blamed laziness for failure to accomplish some of these major 2009 goals?  This would be that goal.  For a while I was consistently getting up around 4:30-5:00am.  But over time my bedtime slid further back, the alarm clock seemed to ring earlier and earlier, and my bed felt cozier on these cold winter mornings.

I’ve been a night-owl my whole life – staying up late to finish a movie, or work on side hustles, or read a good book that I can’t put down. I seem to function better staying up later than I do getting up earlier, assuming the amount of sleep is the same.

So perhaps my new goal should read, “Go To Bed At 1:00am.” Sounds kind of strange, doesn’t it?  The point is that I need a few hours of quiet house to write, and I can either do it late at night or early in the morning. I think I’ll stick with burning midnight oil for now, but maybe this summer I’ll try to switch back so I can workout in the morning and get in a little writing, too.

Goal Three:  Double Blogging Goals From 2008

Of the three goals, this is probably the one I’ve made the most progress with, thanks in large part to all of you!  I still have some work to do on the income side, but subscribers and traffic stats are increasing steadily.

Attract 7,000 subscribers:  With close to 5,800 subscribers (depending on which day you visit), I’ve already added close to 1,000 subscribers this year.  Of course, that pace will slow, but it is a good start.

Receive 250,000 page views per month:  I finished the last couple months of 2008 averaging 125k page views per month.  FrugalDad.com broke 150k page views in January (151,242 to be exact), and is on pace to come close to 150k in this short month of February.

Earn 100% of my regular, full-time earnings from blogging:  Earnings were up slightly from 50% to 56% of my full-time income, so still plenty of work left to do here if I ever want to become a problogger.

I started a second blog, SideHustleBlogging.com, in an effort to diversify my earnings from blogs, and I received my first payment for an offline freelance article published in Acreage magazine.  The article appears in this month’s edition, and is titled 25 Ways to Save Money in 2009.  Hopefully this will lead to additional freelance opportunities, so I can diversify my side hustle earnings from writing in general, not just blogging.

I’m blessed to have this safety net from blogging, and hope that sharing some of my success along the way will encourage you to find your own side hustle.  If I lost my full-time job for some reason, we could eat on my blogging earnings, but not much else at this point.  Unfortunately, there are some folks out there that are looking for their next meal.  I am reminded to be thankful that I do have a full-time job and a part time gig that pays relatively well.