Are men and women really that different when it comes to their approach to frugality? It appears so, in certain areas. Take the thermostat for instance. Most men prefer to keep things cool in the summer, while women like a higher temperature setting. Me? I compromise for the sake of being frugal – if money was not a consideration I would prefer to see my breath when I walk in the door.

But preferred temperature settings could be blamed more on biology than bad frugal habits. A recent article, The Thermostat War, And 6 More Silly Compromises, quotes the Georgetown University Center for the Study of Sex Differences in Health, Aging and Disease as saying, “We have lots of data showing that women generally are far more sensitive to feelings of cold.” That’s certainly the case in the Frugal household.

What are the areas where men and women share differing ideas on frugality?

Clipping coupons. This one may be more a gender stereotype, but I used to get some strange looks when I pulled out the coupon binder at the checkout. Maybe because couponing has traditional been an activity headed up by the woman of the house, in the capacity of CFO of the household. These days, more men are sharing these duties and I say that’s a good thing.

Water usage. Water usage rolls several fringe frugal topics up into a potential marriage squabble. I know men who brag about 2-minute showers and their refusal to run the water while shaving or brushing their teeth to “conserve water.” The same men run their sprinklers twice a day for half an hour per zone because they want the greenest lawn on the block. Go figure.

Toilet paper. Entering dangerous territory here. Since the number of males and females are even in my house, I feel fairly confident making the statement women use more toilet paper than men. However, it is a battle that should simply be conceded by men. And whatever you do, never remind your significant other that Sheryl Crowe can get by with one square per “incident.” Trust me; it’s not pretty.

Shopping. I love my wife dearly, but we have agreed to disagree on shopping strategies. I’m more of a get in and get out kind of shopper. What can I say, I don’t like stores. I don’t like window shopping, “just browsing,” or any other unproductive forms of shopping. On 99% of my trips to a store I’m armed with a list (mental or otherwise) of the few things I need. My mission is to enter the store, roundup the few things I need, and exit as quickly as possible. I’ve made it sort of a game. My wife, on the other hand, snakes in and out of every single aisle in case she sees something she forgot to put on the list.

Money. Finally, something men and women can agree on. Then why so many money fights? The differences in men and women and their handling of money are well-documented, so I won’t rehash it all here. However, from the perspective of living frugal, I have to concede that most women are far better at living the frugal life than men. Sorry guys.

Women as generally less impulsive with major buying decisions (think appliances, not shoes and purses). Women prefer larger amounts of emergency savings, and less risky investments. Dave Ramsey often credits a “security gland,” only found in women, for this desire to minimize risk. Personal experience leads me to agree.

Just about every bone-headed move I’ve made with money followed a “I’m not sure that’s a good idea” statement from my wife. When I ignored her, I crashed and burned – from stock picks to business ideas to financing that Chevy Silverado.

You think I would have learned my lesson, but men are equipped with an equally strong, equally empowering “stubborn gland,” which causes us to ignore all reasonable objections, throw caution to the wind and “just go for it.” Sometimes it pays off, but most times it doesn’t.

My wife and I make a good team. I’ve encouraged her to take a few more risks, and she’s encouraged me to be more conservative. I don’t mention toilet paper, and she ignores the sprinklers. We both clip coupons, but we usually spend them in separate shopping trips.

My wife and I agree on very little when it comes to shopping. I use a list, she likes to wing it. I get in and get out, she likes to peruse each aisle. The one thing we can agree on is that we cannot shop together. I imagine we are not alone.

So in the interest of shopping harmony, I offer up the following tips for women who haven’t given up on the idea of their husband or boyfriend joining them on this year’s Christmas shopping expedition.

1.  Do not take him to a store that you know he does not like. There are only a few places I absolutely refuse to go. One is Bath and Body Works. You can smell the place from the mall parking lot! And once inside I can almost guarantee the onset of a blinding headache or an asthma attack from the aromatic collection of fruity lotions.

2.  Give us a list of items and turn us loose.  Men, by nature, are hunter/gatherers. Give me a list of items you want me to bring back and challenge me by saying something like, “Oh nevermind, you’ll never find it” and then turn me loose! Be forewarned, I may bring back the wrong brand, size or color, so if you want specifics, say so!

3.  Avoid crowded stores. I know this rule is hard to follow during the Christmas season as throngs of mega consumers are out and about shopping for loved ones. However, most guys are claustrophobic. And the idea of being packed like sardines in a crowded Victoria Secret store while you search a table of unmentionables ranks pretty high on our list of uncomfortable situations. If you must enter such a place, find one with a comfy bench outside and tell us to park it.

4.  Plan your trip to the mall around male-friendly stores.  Always keep your eyes peeled for diversions. If you need to stop by the Hallmark store you better look for a male-friendly place to send us while you sneak in a few card purchases to get this year’s $14 dancing, singing snowman. I highly recommend GNC Nutrition, Radio Shack, or any store with those playable video game demos on display. Warning: Move quickly, if you take longer than the time to play one quarter of Madden Football ‘09 on the XBox 360 I might venture into Hallmark and scuttle your entire plan.

5.  Communication is key. Bring along some two-way radios to keep in touch. Cell phones are not as fun, but they will do in a pinch. Bonus points for sexiness if you say things like, “Over,” “What’s your 20,” or can squawk “I love you” in Morse Code.

6.  Do not take guys shopping on an empty stomach. Luring us to the store in exchange for the promise of food is a smart plan. If you can swing it, a pre-game meal involving steak will provide energy to get us through. And a post-game dessert over coffee is a nice reward for good behavior.

7.  Do not ask for input on non-practical gifts. Seriously, we do not really care which figurine you send to Aunt Gertrude this year. To the male shopper figurines equal dust collectors. However, if you are trying to decide between an iPod or a Zune we will gladly share our opinions.

8.  At least once during the trip, buy something because it is cheaper, or higher quality. Your frugality will impress us.  Turn-ons include calculating the unit price, using a coupon, asking the salesperson for a discount, and comparing manufacturer warranties.

Shopping together this holiday season doesn’t have to be a miserable experience. But the responsibility for success or failure of a joint holiday shopping expedition lies mostly in the hands of women. Of course, this probably doesn’t surprise them. In my family, the entire Christmas season would be pretty bleak if it weren’t for the help of Mrs. Clause.

Photo courtesy of dogfrog

My fellow male readers may view this as a “devil’s advocate” post, but I’m not calling it that because my wife is a reader and she may take offense!

Let’s play a little game.  Read the following line, close your eyes and pay attention to the image you have in your head:  “The shopper, loaded down with bags from a morning of scouting out sales, walked briskly towards the mall’s exit.”  Ok, you can open your eyes now.  Was your mental image of the shopper a man or a woman?  Right, it was a woman.  That’s because most stereotypical views of shoppers and shop-a-holics assume women are the major offenders.  However, I would argue that men are equally guilty.

The Male Shopper vs. the Female Shopper

After my wife and I first married she took up an interest in scrapbooking.  We bought so many scrapbook supplies that I joked we could run a scrapbooking supply store out of our spare bedroom.  Of course, I was reminded how much went into each scrapbook, including the books themselves, stickers, cardstock, stamps, etc, etc.  I wasn’t convinced.  I thought this ranked up there with one of the most expensive hobbies ever conceived.  I griped about the cost of everything, and trips to the scrapbook store frequently led to arguments about money and left us both feeling guilty–her for buying supplies, and me for being upset about it.

The funny thing is that during this same period I bought a laptop computer that I “had to have,” a pager with a texting feature (this was before the days of cell phone text messages), and a new truck.  Those three purchases alone were many thousands of dollars more than the money my wife spent on her weekly scrapbook supplies, but they were spread out over the course of a year or so.  Other than those luxuries I stayed out of stores for the most part, which somehow justified my spending over hers.  Not fair.

Women Buy Shoes, Men Buy iPhones

Some women like shoes or purses, while others enjoy spending money on cooking or crafts.  Some men like cars or electronic gadgets, while others pour money into radio controlled planes or sporting events.   The point is that we all have our weaknesses when it comes to consuming.  The infrequency of our shopping trips, or the resulting amounts, do not make one party fiscally superior to the other.  The average man has many jokes in his arsenal about how much his wife likes to shop, but if they really stopped to analyze spending they would probably discover they spend just as much (and in most cases, much more) on big ticket items.

How does this compare to the spending in your current relationship?  Are you the spender, or the saver?

The following is a guest post from Bob.  Bob shares his thoughts on Christian Personal Finances at his blog,  ChristianPF.com.

Alright, I can’t guarantee that she will “love” all of them, I mean what kind of guy would I be if I completely understood women?  But, I am sure that she will at least love some of them, depending on the type of lady you have.

By “date” I am referring to anything you can do alone for a couple hours with your wife/girlfriend. If you have kids, you might just have to bite the bullet and pay a sitter for a couple of hours, but at least the date itself can be free!

I have found that creativity is often the source of the most fun and it doesn’t cost a thing! On the other hand you can often spend a lot of money doing the same-old-thing and not have any fun. These are a few ideas that have worked for us.

1. Have a photo shoot | FREE

Grab your digital camera and start driving around town together and stop at scenic locations and start taking pictures of each other. Be goofy. Be creative – think like an artist, don’t just take the same old fake smile centered pictures. Get out of the box and take some weird pictures! Take 100-200 pictures and go home, download Picasa, pick your favorites and stretch your creative muscles even more by adding various effects to each picture.

2. Have a movie marathon | FREE – $5.00

Of course the library is great for books, but most libraries now have an extensive selection of DVD’s as well. Go pick out a few of your old favorites, or sign up for a starter plan at Netflix, then swing by the grocery store and pick up your favorite snacks. Turn off the lights, grab a blanket and cozy up for a night in the great indoors.

3. Go house shopping | FREE

Even if you aren’t in the market for a new house, just go browse anyway. There is just something fun about the home-browsing process. Pick a developing area and check out a few of the display homes. Make a list together of the things you like and don’t. This is also a great way to get some design ideas and to find layouts that you may want in the future.

4. Go play a sport together | FREE

Play basketball, tennis, soccer, catch, ride bikes together, rollerblade, or anything else. It is fun, you get to breathe some fresh air, and most of them are great exercise as well. How is that for multi-tasking?

5. Plan a vacation | FREE

As I write this I am counting the days to my next vacation. You could almost argue that the anticipation up to a vacation provides as much enjoyment as the vacation itself. So why not start planning one? Even if it will be two years away, it is still something to look forward to and will get here sooner than you know it. There are a million vacation related sites to get your brain churning and help you get ideas. Once you figure out where and when, start budgeting for it!

6. Dinner and dancing at home | FREE – $30.00

Make a playlist of your favorite slow songs and let them start playing. You can then cook your favorite meal together, put out some candles, the fine china, and have a relaxing and romantic dinner together. Once dinner is over, leave the dishes until the next day! Slow dance and think about each other like you did when you were dating.

7. Go on a picnic | FREE – $20.00

I can still remember the first picnic I went on with my wife (girlfriend at the time) and it was so fun. I made us her favorite type of sandwich, got her favorite chips and drinks, packed a basket up with food and blanket and we headed to our favorite park. We found a great secluded location right next to a stream that ran through it and threw our blanket down. We ate, relaxed, and talked for a while. We then wandered around the park and I played her a couple songs on my guitar. Guys you may laugh, but girls love it!

8. Play a game together | FREE

Find an old board game in the closet. Scrabble, Checkers, Chess, Yahtzee, Monopoly, or anything else you both enjoy. If you don’t have the boards themselves you can play online.

9. Go camping | FREE – $50.00

One of the reasons I love camping is because all the distractions are (or should be) left behind. You can sit under the stars next to warm campfire and just talk to each other for hours. It is just a great cheap way to break out of the monotony of the daily grind. If you don’t have a tent you can get one for as cheap as $25 at Walmart. Sleeping bags can be as cheap as $10. Pack a cooler and hit the road.

10. Go for a moonlight walk | FREE

If you have a beach near you, I am a little bit jealous, and you should go there – often! If you are an inlander like the rest of us, you just need to find another place. But even a subdivision sidewalk will do. There is something very romantic about walking around at night, especially under the moonlight. Tell your spouse all the things you love about them and walk slowly.

Open any men’s magazine on the news stand and your are virtually guaranteed to read an article about the top ways to turn on the opposite sex.  The same is true for most popular women’s magazines.  Most lists have things like physical attributes and intelligence in common.  However, there is one attribute missing from the list of top male turn ons that I think could be included:  Saving money.

Gifts from the Heart, Fastest Way to Our Heart

They say the fastest way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach, implying that a great cook can land even the most eligible bachelor.  I admit I have a weakness for great cooking (and the stomach to prove it), but there is something that ranks even higher for us frugal guys.  Last year my wife gave me one of the greatest frugal Valentine’s Day gifts ever.  While most people were out crawling the mall jewelry stores and searching for the perfect electronic gadget for their husbands, my wife picked up a glass candy jar, rose petals, and colored paper.  She spent the better part of a day handwriting 50 reasons why she loved me on each strip of paper, filling the jar with a festive combination of pink, red and white notes on a bed of rose petals.  She presented the jar to me on Valentine’s Day and watched as I read each message from the jar.  It was one of the most meaningful gifts I’ve ever received.

Is Saving Money Really a Turn On?

Being a saver is a turn on for most husbands, however I’m not sure it is a mutually desired trait for most wives.  I’m sure most women (and many men) would prefer to have a spouse that spent money showering them with lavish gifts.  After all, these are the types of examples we see on television.  Our entertainment industry has made “bling” a household word and the object of many people’s desire.  Unfortunately, “bling” requires a lot of money that the average person simply cannot afford.  Some spend like crazy anyway, racking up a mountain of debt in the process.  I don’t know about you, but there is nothing sexy about a mountain of debt!

When it comes to the frugal guy (or girl) in your life, it may not be the act of saving money that is a turn on, rather it is the shared attributes of those who enjoy living frugally that causes sparks to fly.  In the case of my wife and I, a mutual desire to be better stewards of money and resources, and a collection of shared goals centered around the idea of financial independence, keeps us close and moving in the same direction, financially and otherwise.