Welcome to Sunday Conversation #12!  If you would like to participate in next week’s Sunday Conversation, simply ask your question in the comments section of today’s post and I will respond next Sunday. Remember, any subject is on the table (but keep it family-friendly).

When your teens leave the nest, how and when do you shift financial responsibility? I think college is a great transition period in life. You are away from home for the first time and take on new freedoms and responsibilities. Financial responsibilities just naturally start to shift because mom and dad are not there to take care of you anymore. But what about children who do not go away to college? My husband and I have an 18 year old at home who is going to the local junior college. So now the question is when and how do we start shifting her finances from our responsibility to hers? Should she be paying for her own cell phone now? What about medical bills? Car Insurance? What would you do?

- J

I can answer your question from a variety of angles, as I went off to school as a traditional student for my first two years of study, then returned home and lived with my grandfather while attending school and working part time, and finally finished up by working full time to put myself through school.  Each of these experiences taught different lessons, and they were all important.  As a parent, I have some ideas on how I’d like to see my own children’s educational plans go, but I’m all for allowing them choosing their own path.

In your situation, with an 18 year-old living at home and attending a local college, I think it is fair to begin to shift some of the financial responsibilities to her, starting with luxury items such as cell phones, subscriptions, extra clothing, etc.  I personally would not go so far as to charge rent to an adult child living at home while attending school, but if they decided to leave school to work full time I would like them to make some contribution to the household (unless there are extenuating circumstances such a divorce, illness, or financial hardship).  I would also continue to cover college-age children under my own medical insurance plan, as long as the provider allows for it.  Auto insurance may have a similar allowance for college kids, but if not I would offer to help with insurance assuming a car was required to attend school and/or work.

When I attended school as a traditional, on-campus student for my first two years I racked up a bit of student loan and credit card debt simply from living beyond my means.  I had worked part time jobs since my sophomore year of high school, so I was used to having a small amount of “fun money.”  However, the freedoms of a college lifestyle away from home introduced new opportunities for “fun,” so I spent in excess of my part time wages.  If I had it to do over again I would have attended a local school first, lived at home, and saved money and attended a larger university to complete my four-year degree.  Then again, I have no regrets because I met my wife at school during those first two years.

Ideally, I would like for my kids to be able to attend school without the additional burdens of a job.  I was raised by a single parent, and received no financial support from my father.  While my mom was able to cover room-and-board, and help with tuition, she didn’t have much left over for living expenses.  I worked part time to pay for gas, food, and when I moved to an off-campus apartment, a few of the utility expenses. There were some advantages to working, particularly later on when I worked full time to pay my own way.  I certainly appreciated the experience more, and paying my own tuition added to the incentive to earn good grades.

If your daughter works part time consider beginning to transferring over the responsibility to her for paying small bills.  If she does not work, consider providing a monthly stipend for her to live on, and out of that have her pay her own bill(s) such as the cell phone.  This will at least get her used to the idea of living on a budget, and begin to reinforce financial responsibility by allowing her to manage a finite supply of cash each month.

What is your favorite thing about running this website?

- Luke (@Money and Fitness Blog)

I touched on this briefly in my latest roundup post last Friday.  My favorite thing about running Frugal Dad is receiving emails from people who have been inspired to take control of their financial destiny. Unless you are famous, or have access to someone famous, or have access to a lot of money for marketing and self-promotion, it is hard for your ideas to have much reach.  Blogging has introduced a relatively inexpensive way to reach others and share ideas.  The thing I most enjoy about blogging is that I know every time I click “publish” nearly 3,000 people will receive my content.  In some ways that is a little intimidating, but I have embraced it as an opportunity to inspire others.  Maybe someone will learn from my mistakes.  Maybe a young person will avoid the same traps I fell for.  Maybe a seasoned financial expert will rethink their position for the better of their family’s financial future.

For others, Frugal Dad may just be a source of entertainment. I’m happy with that, too.  After all, we could all use a little comic relief these days!  Whatever your reason for visiting Frugal Dad, I’m glad you’re here and I hope you’ll stick around to follow me on this journey.

The calendars have been flipped to August, the beginning of a new month full of opportunities.  Make it a great one!

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Welcome to Sunday Conversation #11! Just one question this week, but it is a deep topic and is probably deserving of its own post.  If you would like to participate in next week’s Sunday Conversation, simply ask your question in the comments section of today’s post and I will respond next Sunday. Remember, any subject is on the table (but keep it family-friendly).

“I have an 8 year old daughter who is very… uh.. materialistic. I’m ashamed that she loves her “things” A lot of people say it’s her age. Is there any way to curb this obsession? (I know turning off the TV is probably a good start).”

-Dana

Dana, this is an issue every parent struggles with at some point.  You’re correct in your assertion that the media certainly isn’t much help.  One of the reasons we decided to live with only basic cable was because of the constant advertising barrage children are subjected to, especially on channels dedicated to children’s programming.  The Disney Channel, for instance, is seemingly benign, but a large majority of their programming incorporates advertising for their own products, or plugs for other products, and most of their shows promote a never-ending message that rich is cool, and designer clothing is always “in.”  I equate most of their shows to soap operas for kids.

But television is not the only contributor to influencing a child’s level of materialism.   Parents are ultimately responsible for helping kids develop a frugal approach to life through their own example.  How many times have you heard parents bragging about their car, or their home, or their fabulous vacation in front of their kids?  How many times have you seen or heard parents making fun of an old beat up car, or a run-down house.  Over time these examples mold kids’ attitudes towards material things, and they incorrectly think anything less than the best is not good enough.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, children develop an unhealthy level of materialism on their own.  How do we change these attitudes once they develop?  I personally believe the best way to cure kids of material desires is to make them humble.  Let kids volunteer with you at a local soup kitchen, or ride with you to donate items to the Salvation Army.  Make it a teachable moment by taking some time during the ride to and from to explain that some people have no beds, or bikes, or toys, or even clothing.  Do so not in the spirit of making them feel guilty for having nice things, but in the spirit of developing your kids into becoming “givers.”

Another idea is to allow your children to spend some time talking to others who have sacrificed, or done without, especially older generations who grew up in the Depression era.  My grandfather was born and raised in the Depression era, and often times went without shoes in the summer, and at times went without lunch or dinner when there was no money for food.  There were no electronics, no toys, no cars, no computers, no televisions, and much of the time, no power.  It is hard for kids in today’s environment of abundance to comprehend living with so little.  We are fortunate that my grandfather is close to both of our kids and has shared many stories of his youth with them.  I know it has had a profound effect on me, and as my kids get older it will on them as well (especially as I retell many of these stories to them).  If you don’t have a “Papa” to talk with at home, visit a retirement home, or church, or even consider picking up a kid-friendly book on the subject.  Children of the Great Depression is a great introduction to the history of the Depression era for young readers.  Welcome to Kit’s World is another great title, and aimed specifically at young girls.

Do you have ideas for helping to raise “frugal” kids?  Please share in the comment below, and remember to ask a question if you would like to see it addressed next Sunday.

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Welcome to Sunday Conversation #10! If you would like to participate in next week’s Sunday Conversation, simply ask your question in the comments section of today’s post and I will respond next Sunday. Remember, any subject is on the table (but keep it family-friendly). 

“I just found your blog and I am enjoying catching up on all your posts. I was wondering if you might have a suggestion for a website that tracks CD rates. My Mother is a widow who is watching her pennies very carefully now that Dad is gone. She has money that needs to be rolled over and I know that there is a better way than watching the paper.”

- Janelle

Janelle, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad.  I know this is a difficult time for your family, and having financial responsibilities thrust upon your Mom makes it even more stressful for her.  As a fellow reader (Maha) recommended, I also find BankRate.com to be one of the best online sources for finding rate information.  In fact, BankRate.com also offers rate information on credit cards, mortgages, and a variety of other financial products.  Here are a few other sites that offer CD rate information:

• eMoney Central
• Bankaholic
• Interest.com

I hope one of these sites will provide some leads.  In a low-interest environment it is difficult find deposit products that offer high yields.  You may want to encourage her to check out a high-yield online savings account such as ING Direct to park money moving in and out of CDs, or other investments.  This way she is at least earning a decent rate in the interim.

“Where do you get the pictures you use on your blog? I’m working my way up to starting one of my own, but I know stock photos are expensive.”

- Maha

Maha, nearly all of the photos you see here at Frugal Dad are used under the Creative Commons license at Flickr.com.  Occasionally, I take my own pictures, such as those you may have seen of our garden.  Check out this thread over in Frugal Dad Forums for more information on using pictures from Flickr.

“My other question is this, have you addressed or discussed separate spousal accounts? We do that, and we have a joint account to pay for household stuff. We each get an allowance to spend as we please. Just curious about what you and your readers might think of this.”

- Also from Maha

I know many couples who have separate accounts, and a joint account that they both contribute to for household bills, the mortgage, etc.  This scenario seems to work particularly well with couples who marry late, or who have been divorced before.  In other words, separate accounts seem to work better for those couples who have lived independently, financially, for some time prior to marriage.

My wife and I have had combined finances since the day we married.  All of our accounts are joint accounts, and we pay all expenses (except for those related to my freelance work) out of a single checking account.   I don’t think having separate accounts is a necessarily a problem, unless one partner is hiding finances from the other.  Hiding finances is a symptom of a dysfunctional relationship.  So if you maintain separate accounts make sure your partner knows about them.

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Foxie asked an interesting question, “I ended up hanging out with some friends on the fourth, and one of the wives in the group mentioned lasik surgery. She continued on to say that she can only get it after her baby is born, her husband comes back from an upcoming deployment, and they get a handle on their credit cards. When she mentioned credit cards, I couldn’t really believe it. I suppose I just have been affected by the money taboo, but it was really unexpected to hear and made me feel rather awkward. (Not to mention I was just meeting most of these people for the first time, and somewhat admiring the house they had. That I knew there was a mortgage for, which I definitely wasn’t jealous of.)

My question, then, is this: Has anyone ever said something about their financial situation that just made you uncomfortable? I was rather shocked that she would so openly admit to having trouble with credit cards, but I suppose that’s the norm in America today, huh?

It is sad when mentioning that you are buried in credit card debt barely gets a reaction from company these days.  I suppose we have all been desensitized to huge debt loads because unfortunately it has become the norm. Think about how many times we read about people in blogs or news segments who are graduating school with $90,000 in student loan debt, or $50,000 on credit cards.  Twenty years ago people would be shocked.  Not today.

I’ve heard things mentioned by people at parties or in casual settings that have made me shake my head, and I’ve developed an ear for it as a blogger because it often turns into a story (with the names changes to protect the innocent!).  Just the other day I was writing at a local cafe and two girls were talking about a guy they both apparently liked.  For nearly ten minutes (it seemed) they went on and on about how much his car cost.  As if being able to go down to a car lot and sign up for a 60 month loan made you a financial catch.  Sad.

Hadias asks the following blogging question:  “What advice can you give regarding making money through blogging? What are some of the main ways that a person could earn money through their blog?”

There are a variety of ways to make money blogging.  Some are more successful than others, but just about all of them require one main ingredient–traffic.  Without traffic it is difficult to generate enough page views for ads to be profitable, either on a per-impression or per-click basis.  My best advice would be to build a strong readership, and traffic numbers, before getting too involved with trying to earn big money via blogging.  I made the mistake of trying to monetize Frugal Dad before it was ready, and by putting the “cart before the horse” I almost became discouraged and gave up, just before things really began to take off.  I’m far from the expert on this subject, but I know a great resource that I’ve used since day one.  Problogger.  I highly recommend signing up at his blog and reading through the hundreds of archived posts, all on the subject of building a better blog, monetization, etc.  Darren really has created a phenomenal resource for bloggers.

Tiffanie asks, “With Christmas approaching (ok…so it’s 5 1/2 months away, haha) and my husband and I on a VERY strict budget with very little to spend…how would you approach buying gifts for immediate family members (9 in all…4 parents, 2 young siblings (4 and 10), 3 siblings 19 years old) without appearing cheap? Is it worth it to take some of what we would send to credit cards in order to buy gifts? I don’t think we’ll be able to afford more than $25 per person! (and 6 of the 9 also have birthdays in December!…) This is the first year we’ve been so strapped for cash (I lost my job) and I’m not sure how to approach this! Any advice would be appreciated.”

There are a couple different approaches to take here.  I’ll describe things we’ve done in the past and you can decide which works best for your situation.  When I married my wife I entered a big family.  At the time my wife had eight cousins she was very close to, three grandparents still living, a mother and stepfather, and four aunts and uncles.  Needless to say, Christmas was a budget concern.  The first year I wanted to make a good impression, so we gave each cousin a little money and bought gifts for all the adults.  This was an expensive approach.

A few years later we recommended all the adults draw names, so each adult would only have to buy one present and then we could all pick up something small for each child.  It didn’t go over very well, but I still think this was a good compromise.  As the kids got older we continued to try to give a little money to each of them, but cut out gifts for the extended adults (and grown kids, 18+).

Finally, I’m sorry to hear of your job loss.  Unless your situation improves greatly between now and Christmas, I think any reasonable family member who knows your situation would understand you not buying them a gift.  There are many things you could do inexpensively in lieu of buying a gift.  Consider writing a family newsletter detailing the events of the past year for you and your husband (and any kids).  Or, perhaps you could put together a family recipe book to give to the adults and grown kids with records of favorite family recipes.  Family pictures in an inexpensive frame are also well-received gifts.

I guess the bottom line is this, you don’t have to spend a ton of money in the name of not appearing cheap.  You know your family’s situation better than anyone, and if you can’t afford to give gifts this year, then that’s just the way it will have to be.  You have to do what’s right for your household.  It might hurt someone’s feelings, but they will probably be over it by New Year’s!

Castocreations asked, “My MIL wants to buy a car. She plans to pay cash but she’s also on a very fixed, limited budget as she is retired with no retirement plan.

And she wants to pay cash for a NEW car!!! I have tried to talk her out of it, and think I’m making headway, but she continues to resist. She’s afraid of a “junker” and seems thrilled with the idea of a brand new car. *sigh*

I KNOW it’s a bad idea and we’re trying really hard to make sure she does the right thing. What are some concrete arguments and reassurances we can give her?”

This is a tough one.  Besides the challenge of trying to convince an “in-law” of anything, curing someone of new car fever is an uphill battle.  I would try to reason that gently used, late model cars are great buys because someone else has taken the majority of the hit on depreciation.  Remind her that a new car is “used” as soon as she drives it off the car lot.

New cars many times (not always) come with higher insurance premiums, which could add to her monthly expenses, something she can’t afford on a fixed income.  Tag fees and taxes could also increase her expenses more than a used car.  Also emphasize the opportunity cost of buying a more expensive new car versus a used car.  Let’s just say the difference is $10,000.  How much would that $10,000 earn if left untouched?  How much more security would she have with an extra $10,000 in savings, not tied up in a car?  And of course if the used car required any repairs she could use some of that $10,000 and still be way ahead.

Thanks to everyone for their questions, and the lively discussion we had on last week’s post.  Remember, if you have a question you’d like me to address next week, just leave it in the comments section.  Have a great week!

photo by OiMax

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Elliott of 21st Century Dad writes, “What are your thoughts on disclosing details to your children about having financial difficulties? While growing up, my parents had their own business so cashflow was always suspect. They did their best to insulate us from their money woes, but they weren’t very good at hiding the stress they were under. Despite these difficulties, they did managed to scrape together money (or debt) for school-related expenses, the occasional persuasively worded request, birthday gifts, and Christmas gifts.

What’s your take on this?”

Elliott, yours was the lone question this week, but one worthy of an entire post dedicated to its response.  When I was growing up, money was a taboo subject between parents and kids, and I think for the most part it should stay that way while kids are small.  I don’t particularly like the idea of sharing money woes with kids because it adds to the stress they already feel from the normal pressures of growing up – academics, fitting in, peer pressure, etc.  However, I do believe in talking about general personal finance concepts at an early age and instilling a healthy fear of large debts, overspending, etc.  My daughter has known about credit cards and their potential danger since she was five or six years old.

As kids grow older I think it is fair to clue them in on some aspects of your financial situation, but only in general terms.  I think is perfectly fine for teenagers to know you are working to pay off debt, or to save up for a down payment on a new home, etc.  Sharing these details with them will make the “no’s” to life’s wants more easy to accept because there is at least some tangible justification behind them (although “because I said so” is the official, universal parental justification for responding to any request – no explanation required).  I’m not sure I would share specific details with my kids such as my exact salary, or the exact amount of debt we owed, or the amount of our mortgage.  Stick to general terms.

Even though we may not intend to share the stress of money problems with our kids, children are intuitive and will eventually pick up on the strained relationship between parents.  This is just another reason to avoid debt, and work towards debt freedom if you are in debt.  It’s often quoted that money fights are one of the leading causes of divorce.  And many of those fights happen between couples deep in debt and struggling to make ends meet.  If you can’t get motivated to get out of debt for your own financial peace, at least do it for the peacefulness it brings to the rest of your household.

I’m interested to hear how readers feel about Elliott’s question?  Do you share money woes with your kids?

photo by OiMax

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Sherri asks a follow up question to my ideas on how to find about a community when considering relocation.  “You say WHAT to look for in a new place to live, but I think the hard part is HOW to find out about those things in a realistic way. For example, when checking out schools, the information on the web is usually insufficient or lopsided. I think talking with live people who are there – prospective bankers, realtors, etc. – is more helpful. Who would you recommend to talk to, and what other avenues of gathering information would you use?”

I think some of the most objective opinions you can get are from area small business owners, and as you suggest, realtors.  Try to think of industries related to the type of information you are seeking.  For instance, if you are interested in schools, drop by a teacher supply store, or maybe a locally-owned children’s clothing store.  Owners there should be able to shed some light on the various school zones in the area.  For general “town gossip” there is no place like a hair salon or barber shop.  Stop in for a trim and talk up the stylist or barber to find out more about the area.

An anonymous commentator asks, “Do you think that psychotherapy is a good personal and financial investment? I have a severe anxiety problem and my pastor at church thinks that I need to address it through counseling before I get married in the next six months. I have checked with several behavioral health facilities and many charge 100 dollars or more an hour. I have good health insurance but it is a shame that even some of the best insurance (like mine) barely covers any of the cost of behavioral health visits.

I have plenty of money saved up and I have a very well paying job. But I could potentially spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on these sessions and it might be a rip off and/or not even work at all!

Would I be better off getting free books at the library or trying Yoga or something and saving the money? My fiance is very supportive but I don’t want this to be an issue in our marriage. Any ideas?”

First of all, I would highly value the opinion of your pastor because he knows more about your story, and has likely counseled dozens, if not hundreds, of people in his position.  From a purely economic standpoint, I can understand your concerns over the cost of therapy sessions.  Have you checked with your human resources office at work?  Some companies offer a number of free visits per year for behavioral health issues.  Personally, I would deal with this as I would any other type of health issue.  It has the potential to damage your relationship with your fiance, and could ultimately cause problems at work–affecting your ability to earn a good wage.  For those reasons, I consider therapy an investment in yourself.

Luke asks, “How do you find the time to do web work as well as spend enough time with your family?”

It isn’t easy. In fact, these last few weeks have been more challenging than ever.  This is the busiest time of year at my full time job, my wife is in an AirCast thanks to a severely sprained ankle, and I have been covering all household duties for the last several days.  To make more time for writing, without sacrificing time with family, I have adjusted my schedule a bit.  For instance, at the time of this writing it is 11:50 on Saturday night and I am catching up on writing while others are sleeping.  During the week I will typically rise around 4:30 to get in a couple hours of writing, site work, etc. before having a quick breakfast with the kids and then heading off to my full time job.  It isn’t easy, but I enjoy writing, and if I am ever going to make something of a side career out of this I will have to do it at odd times while I “earn a living” during “normal” hours and work in some quality time with the wife and kids while they are awake.

Dawnf asks, “I was wondering where is a good place to put the 3-6 month savings cushion? My bank suggests a money market fund so it’s liquid but I worry that I could lose part of my principle by doing this. I could stagger it in Cd’s that come due in different months & just take a risk I might have to crack it earlier to get a better rate or put it in savings? Just curious how others handle this type of an issue.”

We have the first $1,000 of our emergency fund in a local bank savings account earning a ridiculously low interest rate.  I have it there for the sole purpose of having immediate access to local, liquid funds.   The remainder of emergency funds and other savings are stashed away at ING Direct, earning a better interest rate, but one that does not necessarily guarantee us protection from high inflation.  Personally, it’s a risk I’m willing to take with these emergency funds because I don’t want the added risk of losing capital in the broader market.

If you are not concerned with inflation, but more with the risk of money market accounts versus CDs, I would suggest you go with what you are comfortable with.  However, most money market accounts and money market funds rarely, if ever, lose value like stock and bond funds do.  It is possible, but the likelihood is that your capital invested in money market funds is safe.

Do you have a question you would like to see answered here next week? Simply post a comment to this article below and I’ll include your question in next week’s Sunday Conversation.

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Luke asks, “My wife and I are considering a move away from our current area. What would you say are the most important things to look for in our future area (We hope to have kids before or around the time so you can factor that in)?”

Luke, I have some recent experience in this as my wife and I relocated (in-state) to a new city just four years ago. With one child and one on the way at the time it made for a stressful time, but a careful analysis made the decision a little easier. Here are the factors we considered:

• School System – We left an average system and moved to one of the top systems in the state. Since paying private school tuition is difficult on one income, we wanted to find a place with a good public education system.
• A Diverse Economy – What I mean by diverse is that there are plenty of opportunities within a short commute that cover a number of different markets. It’s risky to put all your career eggs in one basket based on a particular industry – especially in today’s market.
• Housing - A great measuring stick to use when comparing housing options in different cities is price per square foot. We moved into an area with a lower price per square foot, so we were able to buy a little more house with the same money than the place we left.
• Safety - Crime can hit anywhere, but some places seem to have more of it than others. Check out the local newspaper’s police blotter for a couple weeks to find out what types of crimes are being committed, and in what areas of town. This will give you some idea of where to avoid when looking for a place to live.
• Something to See and Do – It is generally not advisable to be situated too close to main attractions, but it is nice to be within reasonable driving distance to cultural hubs, outdoor parks and recreation, etc.

For more on finding a quality place to live, check out My Two Dollar’s post on the ten best cities to live and work.

Along those same lines, Dawn asks, ” I was wondering if you had an entry about the actual costs of buying your first home. I’d be interested in hearing about your experiences, if you got any surprises a few months after you signed (unknown expenses) like appliances breaking, etc?

Our situation was a little bit unique when we moved into our first home. At the time, my grandfather lived with us, so we scouted around the area we planned to relocate looking for a house with two master bedrooms – so he wouldn’t have to share a bathroom with two kids! It was difficult to find one on the market with this setup, so we looked at new construction. We found a house that was nearly complete, but we had input on colors, flooring, and fixtures.

We were fortunate nothing broke early on, and our builder’s warranty would have covered anything major. I do remember a few expenses like planting trees around the property (the builder planted two over-sized shrubs in the yard to satisfy the neighborhood covenant, but they were pathetic), and converting the lousy pine straw job to a nicer mulch product. One of my biggest expenses at the time was for my kids. I bought one of those “backyard play sets” and a trampoline for them, probably as a way to ease the transition of relocating. Looking back, I should have looked for a cheaper alternative, built it myself, and saved up for it. Live and learn!

Do you have a question you would like to see answered here next week? Simply post a comment to this article below and I’ll include your question in next week’s Sunday Conversation.

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David asks, “Wow your site is doing really well for only having this blog for 6 months. I got a question for you, How much do you make/month from this blog? How much have you made cumulatively? When did it start to take off (if it has yet)? “

I’d rather not get into specific numbers, for a variety of reasons. Advertisers tend to frown on such disclosure, so I’ll just answer in general terms. The first two months Frugal Dad was live it made enough to cover hosting fees, the domain registration fee and maybe a dinner or two at McDonalds (value menu only!). It wasn’t until the third full month that I began to make enough money to really feel an impact. This probably makes sense considering the average blog folds within 90 days. In some ways, success is a matter of attrition – you have to outlast those who give up too early. It’s a shame though; many excellent blogs probably quit only a few weeks before they were set to really take off.

Sherry asks, “Hi, may I ask where do you get the images for your site? They are very clear and beautiful.”

Thanks for the compliments on the photos here at Frugal Dad, but unfortunately I have very little to do with it! I use photos from flickr.com. A word about using photos from Flickr – I recommend sticking to those under the Creative Commons license and including an attribute with link back to the flickr page where you found the photo. Other photos may have rights reserved and prevent you from using them anywhere.

Katy asks, “Have you had advertisers contact you, or are your ads affiliates?”

Yes, I usually receive several advertising requests per week. Most deals work out, but a few fall through. When advertising is thin I supplement with affiliate ads via my membership through LinkShare. <–Here’s a link if you are interested in signing up.

Kelly asks, “How do you deal with anonymity issues? You are anon. on this blog, am I correct, yet you mentioned putting your blog address on business cards etc for traffic reasons. Do you feel a conflict, or has the amount of exposure through this route been small enough so that you don’t worry about it?”

Early on every personal finance blogger has to make a tough decision – to remain anonymous or not. I started out blogging anonymously, but had a few media interviews that wanted to use my real name. Fortunately, I had decided not to include any “real” numbers such as my salary earnings, networth, etc. so I really had nothing to hide. Interestingly, the business cards don’t have my name listed, but my next set probably will. My first order just had my site name, URL and a few taglines to describe the blog. I typically drop these off in fish-bowl drawings at restaurants, leave a few around the grocery store aisles, or include them in the envelope with a paper bill, etc.  On the rare occasion anyone asks me about the blog I give them a card so they can look it up later.

Luke asks, “In the years leading up to having kids, what is your advice for a family to prepare?”

Despite what people will tell you, kids are not that expensive. One of the biggest mistakes I hear people make is to put off having kids for financial reasons, as if they are waiting for the perfect time to have kids. My advice to couples is if you are with your soulmate, you both want to have kids, and you are reasonably established (have a secure job, insurance, etc.) then by all means start trying to have children. If you wait for everything to be perfect you may wait forever. Having said that, there are a few things you should consider before having kids:

• Try to pile up at least a three-month emergency fund in case there are complications with delivery and both parents are required to take an extended leave from work. This is more important than debt repayment, so for eight or nine months make this your priority and continue to make minimum payments on debt.
• If you have debt, and your emergency fund is already in place, try to eliminate as much debt as possible before your baby arrives. During those first couple years you and your spouse will be preoccupied with taking care of baby, and don’t need the added burden of a pile of debt.
• Try to settle into your job and your home before kids arrive. Psychologists say that the most stressful events in a lifetime are typically around child birth, moving, changing jobs, death and divorce. We relocated a couple months before our second child was born, and changing jobs, buying a new home, and having a baby made for a very stressful few months.
• Consider adding to your current life insurance. Many times two-income couples carry only a minimal amount of life insurance, usually provided by their employer. With a baby entering the picture it is a good time to add term-life policies outside of your employer’s plan.

Gretchen asks, “Who does the cooking in your house? Or are you more of a go-out-to-eat type of household?”

My wife does the majority of the cooking in our house, but I am the “Grill Master,” so I handle any required grilling. I am an able cook, but my wife is better, so unless she is not home or out of town she handles most of the cooking duties (and my kids are thankful!). We do eat out occasionally – at least once a week. However, even then we try to look for restaurants where the kids eat free on certain nights, or there are two-for-one deals or similar. The $5 foot long sandwich promotion at Subway has been a popular one in our household!

Marci asks, “Does this blogging feel more like fun or like work? Enjoying your blog!”

Thanks Marci! For the most part I enjoy it, too. I do have to confess that it is more work than I imagined it would be before I started. Many people have the incorrect perception that bloggers just write up a post and publish it in a matter of a few minutes. Not so. I usually spend half an hour or so planning, researching, brainstorming for new posts, and another half hour or so writing them. Then I have to locate graphics, include any relevant links, etc. and then schedule it for posting. Since I write at more than one location I have to repeat this process to produce articles for multiple sites, and work on any freelance writing projects I’ve taken on. I’m also in the very early planning stages of putting together a book manuscript to shop around, so any free time (you know, between 1:00am – 2:00am) is spent on organizing my thoughts around a book idea. All this, in addition to my full time job and family time keeps me pretty busy, but I wouldn’t quit now if someone paid me to. Well, unless they paid me A LOT!

Do you have a question you would like to see answered here next week? Simply post a comment to this article below and I’ll include your question in next week’s Sunday Conversation.

photo by OiMax

Post by Frugal Dad

Luke, from Money and Fitness Blog asks, “When did you “officially” start Frugal Dad?”

FrugalDad.com officially launched on December 28, 2007. Looking back, it would have been easier to wait a couple days and officially launch on January 1, 2008, but I had a couple days off of work around the holidays and I was eager to get the site up and running.

Beth and Kelly were interested in my logo. Beth asks, “I’m curious about your logo, which is nice, by the way. You mentioned it cost you $9.99. Where’d you have it done”

My logo and Entrecard artwork was done by Pete at Blog-Logos. He does great work, and is a pleasure to do businesss with. If you are interested in a logo, or redesigning your current logo, I encourage you to contact him.

Do you have a question you would like to see answered here next week? Simply post a comment to this article below and I’ll include your question in next week’s Sunday Conversation.

photo by OiMax

Post by Frugal Dad

Luke, from Money and Fitness Blog asks, “I was going through the site the other day and I believe you actually have not been writing on the blog for all that long. My question basically is if you have any advice for someone like myself who is trying to spread the word of their site?”

Early on, I took advantage of free advertising mediums such as Entrecard, Yahoo Answers (answer questions on your subject matter and include a link to your site – don’t spam them or you’ll be booted), and a few others. To this day the only costs associated with running Frugal Dad have been my original template purchase ($5), logo creation ($9.99), and of course regular hosting fees. I have done zero paid advertising for Frugal Dad.

Another great way to spread the word of your site is to leave thoughtful comments on other blogs in your niche. Be sure to leave your website’s address in the URL section if given the opportunity, but it isn’t necessary to include your URL in the text of the comment. Most bloggers consider this spam and it isn’t exactly welcomed. Take some time to read the post before commenting and add value, or add some of your personal experience, to the article. “This was great-thanks!” doesn’t cut it. You should also consider a similar approach to engaging in forums related to your niche. Just include a link in your forum signature and jump into the conversation by adding value to the discussions.

Take your message offline. A mistake many bloggers make is they fail to mention their site in offline communications, and even emails. Early on, I made up some inexpensive business cards with my site name, URL, and a few short phrases describing the content. I drop these off at doctor’s offices, post them on bulletin boards, leave in tip trays at restaurants, and on set a few on top of gas pumps. I also include them in any paper bills I pay, and gave a few out to family and friends so they can pass them around as well. When sending email be sure to create a signature with your site URL and include a link to your subscription page or email subscription link.

Offer to write a guest post. Guest posts are a great way to share your content with other audiences. Most blog owners will accept guest posts, but be patient if you don’t see it up and running in a couple days. Many times bloggers bank several days worth of posts and schedule a few days in advance. Your guest post may do better sandwiched between related posts, or at the end of a series of posts, so sit tight.

Finally, use weekly roundups or a similar format to highlight other blog posts you enjoyed during the past week. Bloggers enjoy seeing their content discussed and highlighted on other blogs, and will frequently reciprocate with a link to your content down the line.

If you would like to get my thoughts on a topic of interest, simply post a comment to this article below and I’ll include your question in next week’s Sunday Conversation.

photo by OiMax

Post by Frugal Dad