Frugal Dad Forums

I need some advice. My hubby has not had managed our finances the last 4 years. This happened by accident. He lost his brother and just couldn't stay on top of bills, etc.

But he's been extremely helpful in overspending. In my opinion, much has been for him (i,e new four-wheeler and basketball season tickets).

I've contributed also by not including him on making out a budget.

Over the last 6 months, we've racked up a record $20K in credit card debt. I've warned him how high it was getting but we kept spending with the anticipation of selling our rental property--which exploded a week before closing.

Now, he's willing to "learn" how I pay the bills (he's never done electronic banking). And announced he planned to takeover the finances.

Well, first, I want his help, but I'm not willing to abdicate all control given his less than stellar past.

Second, I just can't forgive his past mistakes.

I know we both need to be involved in making and sticking to a budget. My question is how open should I be to his taking over?

I wouldn't be in favor of either of you "taking over" the finances, rather you should both be involved in all budget planning sessions, bill paying parties, etc. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Come up with some share goals (be debt free in one year, decide what to put up for sale to make it happen, etc.). Good luck to you!

I also agree with Frugal_Dad
Best of luck May god bless you.

You should have never been doing it alone. Passing it off to the other spouse will turn out pretty much the same.

Who does what isn't all that important. I prepare the next zero based budget, including all our normal scheduled bills and standard investments and current paychecks. We meet on budget night and I show her the base budget and we spend the remaining money till it's under $10.

Then my wife pretty much does the rest, she goes to the bank, gets the cash, puts it in the correct envelope, pays all the bills online....

I handle all the future stuff. I move the money into the 529's and non retirement brokerage accounts and make all the purchases.

The point being, I tried to do it all years ago. I'm a really lousy bill payer. My wife tried, excellent bill payer, not a real great big picture lady.

The single biggest thing that helped us, was a zero point budget. You take all the money for that cycle (we run every two weeks because thats how I get paid) and spend every dollar on paper. Then use cash and envelopes for the consumer spending. When problems come along (and they do a lot in the early months), since all the money is spent, it has to be moved from another category.

It works...


There a lot worse things in this life than 4 wheelers and season tickets. 20k in debt is as common as bad breath. If you still love your partner, you really should look into marriage consoling. Every couple could benefit from it, and it can be fun!

I agree with everyone else... you should be doing it together.

My husband and I sit down every month and "do the budget". We categorize every dollar, like the plan that was mentioned above, if one category runs short we decide together how we are going to cover it.

We've been doing it this way since we moved in together about 5 years ago. At the beginning it was a lot of discussion... now it's pretty standard and we don't need to talk about it as much. But we both always know what is going on.

It's sooooo easy to over spend when you aren't involved in the finances. You might know things are tight, but you don't KNOW it. You can bury your head in the sand.

If you have an otherwise good relationship with your husband then I think this is a battle you guys can fight (and win) together, without too much blame. Obviously you know your relationship, we don't... but I would hate to see a good marriage go down the drain because of poor communication by both parties.

Have you tired online baking options, Its very convenient you can save a lot of time and even earn better on your savings with a saving a/c. Try this site hope this help you its a list of online banks http://www.money-rates.com/savingaccountratetable.htm

Please give us some details.

No details????????????????
Or you are spamming?

I would agree that budgeting responsibilities need to be shared to a point, and that communication is key! It sounds like you may have some other marriage/relationship issues to work through as well - some things to forgive, and things to talk about. I'd suggest getting with a good marriage counselor and working through some of these things..