I love to read success stories — both because I enjoy seeing people succeed, and because I want to succeed too. The success stories that I most enjoy include things like paying off a large amount of debt in a short amount of time, quitting a full time job to start a small business, traveling the world, etc.
Responses to the stories usually fall into one of three camps:
1. Congrats, that’s great! I’m working on that too!
2. Congrats, that’s great! I did that too and here’s how…
3. Well, that’s great for you, but I could never do that because blah blah blah.
It’s the last one that gets me.
You see, if you really, really want to do something, you can almost certainly accomplish it if you keep at it long enough. No matter what your circumstances. You just have to quit making excuses and start making opportunity.
And if you don’t really want to do something, go ahead and admit it.
None of us need to do everything. It’s ok to have a 30 year mortgage that you’re not trying to pay off early, to work for someone else as an employee without having your own business, and to be perfectly content with never leaving the city limits. It’s ok to do pretty much anything, so long as what you’re doing isn’t illegal or harmful.
But if you have a dream, and all you can see are obstacles, it’s time to look at things a little differently.
If the reasons why you can’t fulfill your dream keep popping up like a song that’s stuck in your head, go ahead and put the reasons down on paper to get them out of your head.
But then go beyond that.
Instead of spending your time on “I could never do that because…”, change the things you tell yourself. Start out by asking, “How can I find a way to do that anyway?”
In other words, every time an idea of yours is met with a mental “but I can’t do that because…”, respond to yourself with “But how CAN I do it?”
Ask yourself questions like these:
- What could I change?
- Who could help me?
- What could I do differently?
- What could I give up that really isn’t important in the long run?
- How could I make it work despite that?
- What other resources do I have that could help make it happen?
Then do those things. Try, try again, until you succeed.
There are plenty of people who have overcome some pretty massive challenges in life, and gone on to fulfill their dreams. You can too.
Let me end with a little story.
When I was 7 years old, I fell on the ice while walking to school and landed on my arm. It really hurt. I distinctly remember spending the school day staring at a boy who sat across from me who was allowed to use a chalkboard to write with because he had broken his arm. I think he had something helping him, too.
“But MY arm hurts too,” I whined. “It’s not fair!”.
I spent a good part of the day feeling sorry for myself and complaining that I couldn’t do my work because my arm hurt.
Luckily for me, my whining fell on deaf ears.
Finally, near the end of the day I remembered some note cards that my grandma had. They were covered with the most beautiful drawings — drawings made by a woman who used her mouth to draw because she was paralyzed from the neck down.
I figured if that lady could use her mouth to make those beautiful drawings, I could deal with an arm that hurt, and just write with my other hand.
And so I did. After all, an arm that hurt was hardly a big deal. It wasn’t like I was paralyzed or anything. (Thank goodness.)
I went on to break 5 more bones after (what turned out to be) my first broken wrist. Each time I just dealt with it and the awkwardness of the casts, and found a way to accomplish the things I wanted to accomplish despite the broken bones.
That philosophy works pretty well for life in general, too.
Obstacles are there to make you creative, and to help you create opportunities. And even if you feel (or are!) paralyzed, you can find a way.
Heck yeah! Now that’s the spirit. Let’s get off our collective arses and rock it in 2011!
Woohoo!
Few things drive me crazier than the people that have excuses for everything, yet complain incessantly. Be it weight loss, saving money, whatever, many things in life are just plain difficult. If you truly want something, you have to make a plan and go get it.
As I have gotten older, I have learned to appreciate the people that have contentment, even if they don’t seem to be striving to have a super career or whatever. Contentment can arise from many different sources, not just financial success. Some of the happiest people I know don’t have much. However, I agree with you- if you are not content, stop complaining and get moving.
(PS, I think most little kids would have reacted by feeling sorry for themselves when they hurt themselves. That broken wrist must have hurt!)
Contentment is a great thing
And yeah, it did hurt, although I had no idea it was broken at the time!
Graet points, and I agree attitude is everything. Its almost like a threshold that one crosses where, one day, everything seems so much clearer. At least that’s my experience. Its hard to remember what it was like back on the other side, where “I can’t” reigned supreme, so its important we understand when people may frustrate us when they don’t try looking at things a little differently.
That’s true. I try to keep my mouth shut when I hear a case of the “I can’ts”, unless someone is literally asking for help or is a member of my immediate family…but I do still feel frustrated inside.
Gosh, I love this post! I was brought up in a house where the going-in assumption was that if you wanted it badly enough, you could make it happen. If I might add to your post a bit, time management is a huge pet peeve for me in this regard as well. Time is one of the few universals – we all get the same number of hours in the day. If you aren’t accomplishing all that you want to, you’re not managing your time wisely. Stop blaming it on any number of circumstances and make some changes!
Glad you liked the post! Time management IS a biggie as well.
I would add (since this a personal finance blog) that the obstacle in the way of many goals is not necessarily financial (i.e. “I can’t do that, I can’t afford it!) Sometimes you have to do an end-run around the money issues and figure out other ways to accomplish a dream. Maybe you need to “repackage” the dream. For example: Can’t afford college? Is it college you want or need, or is it knowledge? Go to a community college for two years, find scholarships, read lots of books (libraries are free), etc. This approach can be applied to just about anything.
Good points. Sometimes it only *seems* to be about money.
Absolutely! Especially with the recession, so many are just sitting and whining that they can’t find a job. Go out and CREATE your job. I see people everyday doing creative stiff to earn money. Stop complaining and just DO SOMETHING! Anything, just DO IT!
Bernice
How does your faith affect your ability to cope?
And the more you do, the more empowered you feel. Which of course leads to more progress
So much of what people are able to do, and not able to do, is because of their outlook on life, their contentment and the attitude they have towards hardship when it comes their way (because it will come their way). I think it’s important to not take failure as the end, but a learning moment, to not let the naysayers get you down, and just keep on keeping on! Great post! Stop making excuses people, and get to it!
I completely agree.
Each day that goes by, re-emphasizes this thought.
Attitude really does make an enormous difference. And the thing about attitude is, you can always improve it if it’s not the best. There are days when I have a really bad attitude about stuff (just ask my husband) but I actively work on improving it, and it usually passes quickly. The opposite would be true if I wallowed, though.
So much in life is about attitude. I find that those who have a postive, resourceful, can-do and determined approach tend to get the goodies in life while those who make excuses have more difficulties. Good post!
I think part of that is because both positive and negative attitudes are contagious. So if you have a positive attitude, others around you will be more positive too, and things snowball from there.
I totally agree! People can find reasons or excuses why they can not do something. I might describe your article in terms of winners and losers. Winners succeed despite obstacles and losers always offer excuses or identify obstacles that prevent them from succeeding. I try to stay away from those people..
Let’s all be winners then
Inspirational post! Just what I needed to light the fire and get moving!
Glad you found it inspirational
Jackie,
I really like this one. I hate the excuses and rationalizing technique, especially because I myself fall victim to it often. A great read on that (that I’m going through right now!) is the The Magic of Thinking Big (Schwartz). A great read for $5 or so.
Yeah, it’s pretty easy to rationalize things, often without realizing it.
Great post! It seems like so much can be worked through by simply writing it down. I look at it as getting your thoughts in motion. By writing something down, whether it be challenges or goals, you are essentially taking what amounts to step 1.
The ability to accomplish things is directly related to how much you know about the industry. I am teaching my teens about money at an early age so I purchased a Mastercard product called Myplash and it allows me to review my children’s purchases and they enjoy the cards because there were over 100 to choose from and they get online discounts to certain brands, such as Paul Frank and Tapout and many others.
*sigh*
I am way too good at making excuses when it comes to blogging. I swear it becomes a competition with myself to see just how long I can put off writing!
Either way I lose!
But it doesn’t have to be that way!
This article reminded me of the saying “Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration”…or however it goes. I’m fine with the perspiration part, but sometimes I lack the inspiration.
I lack the inspiration sometimes too, but that’s when the perspiration can really see you through.
Now I’m trying to think if I’ve ever responded in the third way at your site, lol. This is the best “suck it up” post I’ve read lately, so thanks!
No, I don’t think you ever have!
I loved this concept and all the comments! I just wanted you to know I started a little business in the 2nd grade(Catholic school).I sold cinnamon toothpicks ..3 for a nickel.Nuns did not take kindly to my business idea and I spend time in the principles office.Too bad really because business was brisk-boys bought more (they thought it looked cool)till I convinced the girls cinnamon toothpicks freshened breath.Start up was cheap,wooden toothpicks very inexpensive,the cinnamon oil was purchased at a drug store thru a pharmacist who thought it was a cool idea and gave me the oil at cost.I still get a chuckle out of that idea.I was told however how unlady like it was and crass……he he he
Aw too bad, that was an awesome business idea!
It is so easy to make excuses…and much harder to find solutions and make opportunities. Loved your last sentence, that obstacles are there to help us be creative and create opportunities.
Amazing that you went through the day with a broken wrist! Great lessons learned though from your story! Making lemonade out of lemons is always better than becoming soured by life.
There is no time for the “I can’ts” or negative energy.
When I started trying to teach this to my children I realized that I still needed to work on it also!
When I hear whining or negativity from someone in my family or myself
we try to work to the heart of the matter…Like you said, you can do Anything if you really want to do so…if not then move on.
And it does seem that being content is something quite rare these days.
I am truly happy, and quite content. My happiness is not based on anything in the future, just the here & now.
It’s not so much jumping off a cliff as it is stepping off a curb. I have taken many adventures and life changes and have no regrets. Live life fully.